Background: mom, in the past, has been very nasty. My nickname for her was 'b***hmouth'. Long story which I don't really want to get into.
She has a pretty good vocabulary and she has a way of 'turning a phrase' which definitely has meaning built into it. She has made plenty of enemies in the past doing just that. (and also typical, seems absolutely clueless when most everyone else she worked with hated her).
Her doctor visited yesterday (yes, this one makes house calls for elderly). When I got home, a few instructions and recommendations had been left.
Now, most of us would say 'the doctor told me such and such and such, and to do this, that and the other.' Not mom. She says 'the doctor scolded me...'. Nothing wrong with my hearing, two syllable word.
For whatever reason, I decided to ask her why she phrased it like that?
'you said 'scolded'. that invokes certain images. why did you use that word?"
"I did not use that word.'
'yes you did'.
(now she is starting to get bent out of shape) "You have done this to me in the past. I said told, my teeth cause problems, you didn't hear it right."
"scolded is two syllables, told is one. I know the difference."
(now really upset) " I just want you to believe me.. I did not say scolded"
Me (sarcastically) 'riiiiight'.
these same two sentences are repeated several times, I always respond "right".
I don't know if she is pacified but I know what I d**n well heard. When this happens, she does (what she has already done and is actually typical of her personality) attempt to twist it back round on me.
Mom has never owned anything she has ever done. She was ok as a mother, did the best she could, but she was subject to occasional bouts of paranoia, seemed to be extremely insecure at times, and topped it off with always drinking. Towards the end (just before I simply up and left home) she was getting stewed nightly.
Maybe there is no point to calling her out. I have found though, when I have called her out, she does know she is guilty, she does this type of waffling, dodging, etc all to avoid any responsibility for her own behavior.
and just in case you think she is not that bad: she told me once I should have been an abortion. I was going to pay for what I took and what dad took. This was just one bout of name calling. I have done my best to forget as much as I can. Some things you just don't forget.
I am only there because I am deeply flawed, have my own psychological 'peccadillos, and problems. If i was REALLY successful, mom would probably be alone, but I probably would try and help sending help in. Either way, I inherit the mess.