My mom fell in April of 2016 (at 92 years old) and broke a leg. She was living with me at the time and when she came home from physical therapy (ie,the nursing home) ..they had her wearing diapers. That shocked me as she'd never had to wear them before. I got her out of having to wear them by buying her a portable toilet and putting it by her bedside. She went to the bathroom by herself and cleaned herself. She was defiant totally about letting me help her with that and she seemed to do fine on her own, and I was not going to force her to let me clean her. She was 92 and I was not going to argue with her about such a thing. I cared for her by helping her get around the house each day and I'd help her get to her favorite chair and to the toilet and back and on and off her bed.
Before long she recooperated fully but still needed help to walk and get around the house. In December of 2017, her knee began to retract and she couldn't straighten her leg. At the same time it became obvious that a UTI had come about again, as she was becoming a bit confused and I began to recognize that usually was the symptom of a UTI which she was acquiring now and then since 2014. I decided it was best she goes to the hospital for a checkup. I had an ambulance pick her up and take her to the hospital.
The Dr at the hospital decided to put her in a nursing home, I thought for therapy, but I was told by the state that she was not coming home and that she needed 24/7 care by professionals and that she could not get that same kind of care at home. I had to admit that at that point in her life, they were right. I'm 63 and I cannot do all that the staff at the nursing home is doing for her. She was beginning to need more help in the last two months that I was caring for her and I realized it fully by the time I sent her to the hospital. Even still, I was expecting her back home through the entire month of January to continue to care for her and us live together as we had been, her as my mom and me, her son, us both having great times together every night. We were both up nights and slept days, we both loved it!
The first week she was in there, I asked her if she wanted me to continue to pay her bills via her account, she said yes, so I did. I was told on February 5th that she was not going to be able to come home..at all!! a whole month had gone by that I thought she was going to come home and I'd been buying her stuff from amazon.com with her money via her permisson-a special mattress that disperses air randomly to prevent bedsores, a new walker, quite a bit, as well as paying our bills (her name was on the bills and I paid rent). I was told by the financial manager at the nursing home, later closer to March, that I was not to supposed to be spending ANY of her money from her account at all!! But later, a woman from the state called, (the office of Guardianship) and she asked me if I wanted to become my mom's guardian and I admitted that I could not take care of my mom as well as the nursing home. I was horribally disappointed to have to admit that and my depression was immense. But this same woman also told me I could go ahead and pay my mothers bills with the money from her a account and I got the impression that as long as it wasn't spent on me that it was all good. So I began paying her bills again in March..the next thing I knew Adult Protective Services told me I was under investigation for exploitation of her funds. Also for neglect. I'm like what??
Yeah.. when she went in to the hospital she had bedsores, retracted knee and she was dehydrated and had bruises. Her brusies were due to my helping her around so often. She bruised easy. Also skin tears were something that I had to contend with now and then but I gauzed them bandaged them and they'd heal. Her bedsores I had no knowledge of because she didn't complain of pain and she was cleaning herself. The state said that's no excuse. I laughed..really?? But if I forced her into pulling off her pants to let me see, I'd be spending time in jail for something much worse. I wasn't going to argue with my 93 year old mom and force her into letting me scan her butt..period!! It wasn't worth the possible heart attack or stroke to upset her like that. Also the UTI and retracted knee are what I sent her to the hospital for and the dehydration is something I never suspected, as she was constanlty drinking juice, coffee, tea, water, soda...she was versatile.
Anyway, that case is still open..as is the exploitation of funds. My sister and I were both misled about paying her bills and told 2 different things. Financial manager at the NH said he'd have the state direct my mom's check each month directly to the NH, so I thought that's what the nitwit was going to do. Instead I found that in the almost 6 months she's been there they still have not gotten control of her account. My Cousin's name is on her account, not mine. Instead of dealing with her, they've been harrassing me..the morons!!