In 2009 we remodeled our house to accommodate my parents with handicap accessibility. Mom is 83 and dad is 97 now. Mom started complaining and forgetting stuff, it had increased to Sun downing, it had progressed when dad passed out and had complications from illness of temporal headache. Both of them talked about death all the time and mom keeps on yelling at dad and also takes it out on me. Between the cussing, cursing and yelling I manage to survive. I missed work, school activities, and family activities. In the past 3-4 years I had called my siblings and mentioned that mom is going through some issues but they just ignored me. My siblings said that they are moving mom and dad but lied to me. This Dec. 2016, we sat down and discussed the issue again but all I got from my siblings is grief with threat to disown me. They basically told me to jump off the cliff and blamed me for everything. They said there was nothing wrong with my parents. They are in denial. My parents do act normal for the short time they are here to visit. I am burnt out. Dad got admitted to the hospitalized this January and I finally refused to take him back in. My sister and brother had discussed that my dad is better off staying in my house without our permission. Stressed out here.

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Burntout, it's been Eight Years. Eight! Count them! I'm not surprised you've had enough. It's more surprising that you haven't picked up an axe yet.

So. What's the plan with your mother? I saw your other thread about severing communication with your family but didn't understand the background so I didn't post there. Where are you hoping to go from here?

For crying out loud. I'm just re-reading that part about your siblings finding it easier to ignore your parents' issues. Yes, I bet they do find it easier. Laughably simple for them, isn't it? Shaking my head here for you.

I am the oldest in the family so mom made me take on a lot of responsibilities. Moms actions are different from before. I don't have any financial obligations to my siblings. Brother sends $200 to mom and she ask me to get her stuff and dad. I did the rest.
We extended/rehab to accommodate a handicap accessibility room. Walk in tub and her own washer and drier, toilet in their room. My brother furnished the bedroom the way she liked it.
Siblings refused the idea of nursing home and hospice right off the bat and ignores me when I mention POA. I guess since I was the easy going person they are abusing me and refused to listen for my concerns. They think it is easier that way without checking the facts on the physical/mental state of my parents. The doctors and social workers had asked me several times about hospice for dad and nursing home for mom. I do feel sad sending them away but I can't handle the mental and verbal abuse from my mother daily for hours. ( screaming ) Dad is basically uncooperative this time and tired. Personally I think he is ready to go.

Yes, please share more. It sounds like you realize that you alone, with all of the good intentions and love in the world, can no longer care for either of your parents in your home.

Can mom's doctor see her and possibly recommend nursing home care? If you refused to take dad back home - where is he now? Can you contact that place and begin placing mom? They can probably help you with the Medicaid application if you need it for nursing home.

As you can see i'm making assumptions - please update us. I hope you can find a path forward so that everyone, and that includes YOU, is taken care of appropriately. Shame on your siblings.

I know we give hugs on AC but I have the desire to give your shoulders a strong massage. Please take a deep breath and lower your shoulders and then rotate them back and forth. There I did it with you. Ok. I reread your post. Are you under some obligation to your siblings? Did they pay for the addition to your home? Do they have POA while you have mom and dad? How is it they get to make decisions about YOUR life? Give us a little more information please.

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