I am taking care of my 88 year old mother and 53 year old mentally handicapped sister, this is a package deal. My father passed away last year (he also needed my help) and my mother and handicapped sister are emotionally inseparabable. so I am taking care of two people and am getting weary

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i am in similar situation. caring for almost 91 yr old mom with 60 yr old dual diagnosis brother (mental illness/drug addiction) in same family building. i am not my brother's direct care giver (he has outpatient methadone program and psychiatrist) but still abuses drugs. he causes havoc in house (left gas on, pulled wires from boiler, spills food in hallway etc). i have put smoke/carbon detectors all over house and try to monitor as best i can. mom is getting to point where she needs home attendant and i am working on that (medicare and medicaid-but that does not resolve everything). i take care of everything (house, tenants, repairs, finances, bills, groceries). brother is becoming increasingly non functional. do not know what to do. will contact his psychiatrist and other professionals like NAMI (org for mental illness) to see what i can do. mom and son are emotionally inseparable. i cannot be my mom's home attendant-too stressful under circumstances. will be trying home health care to see how it goes. last 3 weeks had to call EMS for brother-he was in hospital 1 week, and a week ago called EMS for mom-in hospital for heart and lung condition. tried to get her into short rehab stay post hospital but med insurance would not pay. She's coming home tomorrow and I am dreading the additional stress regarding how she will be functioning. she will be getting some home health services but i am sure not enough (insurance is stingy) if it gets to point where i cannot provide mom with care she needs i will have to sell house and put her in assisted living (this eats into my inheritance but may have to be done). it all seems so overwhelming. i have been weary for a long time. it's been 5 years with the last 3 being increasingly difficult.

Wow, that is a huge sacrifice! Hugs to you for your generosity.

Have you looked for a local adult day program for them? That can often be extremely valuable to the caregivers and also provide some stimulation and social interaction for the participants.

I can certainly understand that you are getting weary. I hope you can find some ways to recharge your batteries before you face total burnout.

Did you have specific questions?

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