My mom dementia.it was slow to start but has picked up speed.I live with boyfriend in the house I grew up.A year and half ago mom got real sick and that is why we moved in.I have two brothers.At the time we agreed to pay expenses(we could at the time).With the economy the way it is and my boyfriend needs to stay and take care of mom(while I work) we can no longer come up with that amount. Mom is fulltime work,we have not much of a life right now.The house is paid.Mom had no problem paying expenses before we got here and she has social security.My brother has no idea how hard all this is.He threatened to kick us out(I guess he thinks fulltime help is cheaper).I am drained that I have to deal with on top of the wonderful care we take of mom.Who the hell do these people think they are.Taking mom to Dr.s,bathing,cleaning up after.My mom asked one thing of us kids,to stay after she dies.There is no way i will continue a relationship with him.There is more that he has done while he sits in his castle and dictates what should be done.20 years ago my dad also had dementia,where was he then also.All over money.i worked 10 yesterday and then come home take care of mom and then put up with his crap.Again I am tired.
I am so glad that you are taking an interest in Mother's welfare. You are right, it is not fair to drain her resources needlessly, or there won't be much left (if any) for any of us to inherit. I don't want that to happen any more than you do.
When we move out and get a life of our own, Boyfriend will be able to hold a fulltime job again and we will be able to get on our feet, so we are interested in your alternative plans for Mother's care. (With his experience, Boyfriend can make pretty decent money as a caregiver.)
For your convenience, I've enclosed a few results of some inquiries we've made for in-home care. As you know, Mother now needs 24/7 supervision. I don't think she need skilled nursing help at this point, which is good because that is more expensive. I've listed the rates of caregivers in this area, from reputable firms. You will need to figure on 24 hour a day coverage.
Another option, of course, is to relocate Mother to a Memory Care facility. There is only one in this area, where her friends could visit her often. It has a very good reputation. I've enclosed their brochure and price list. I believe there is currently a waiting list. Mother, not surprisingly, is oppsed to this option, but we have to do what is best for her, don't we?
I don't think that Mother's income and assets will cover these expenses very long, so she will then need to apply for Medicaid.
I am so glad you are taking an interest. Boyfriend and I are nearly overwhelmed with the responsibility. I think we should get together soon with Brother2, and discuss what will be best for Mother.
Your loving sister,
Anothing question: What is your brother's alternative plan for your mother if you move out?