My dear, sweet brother (66) with worst mental illness will be assessed by Psych for dementia on Mon-4/18.

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My brother takes daily meds for Paranoia Schizephrenia with depression, has been able to hold down a factory job over 35+, and retired in Jan 2016. He's lived alone in his own home, never married and functioned mostly alright. I've been with him through it all and he has the sweetest soul I've ever known. I am his younger sister and the only one he can depend on. Today I'm beside myself with heartbreak and tremendous grief as we start the our journey down this path. I know what's ahead. This website has been very generous and helpful to me.

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Hello Dear Friends,
5/2/16 Update- 1st Thanks & Gratitude for support you've put out to me, you've helped me guide & help my brother immeasurably, more than words can express. He was discharged from hosp on 4/27/16 with specific outpatient care recommendations and coordinated by the hospital social services case manager. My brother requires medication management, access to prepared meals, and structured activities to replace these changes lacking after he retired from working over 35+ years of his adult life. We helped move him into an AL that accepted him and is within his financial means. So far so good. He's adjusted quite well and likes all the accomendations, which has reduced a great deal of stress for both of us. Now we can have a chance to look forward to spending more enjoyable time in the future. All these major life changes came as result of unpredictable behavior that can take us all by surprise as the natural process of aging happens personally and differently for each one of us. I'm grateful that we were well guided, accessed the help desperately needed, and, that my brother feels so much better now, he's been very agreeable to accepting the adjustments necessary. I feel very fortunate there are medications available that can give treatment to the terrible mental illness he has had throughout his life. In and of itself, that, at least has enabled him to live as a productive person in our society.
I'm sure there's still a good learning curve ahead which benefits us all. Hopefully maybe this experience can help another visitor looking for help.
Blessings & Godspeed Dear Friends 💗
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No I am N-O -T a Christian Scientist. Whatever works personally for each person, I believe in live and let live. We've never really had any issues to do with this in our marriage. Apparently our trouble has more to do with communication, idk wtf....?
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Shellshocked is a realistic place to be when it is your own husband sending missiles your way.
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I feel for you, sis, ...
Too overwhelming for words...
Try to keep as calm as possible.
Ending a marriage is not usually a solution you can make on the fly.
Place your brother where they accepted him, the dust will start to settle
And see where things are with your husband.
This needs to be discussed calmly.
Unless this is a recurring issue with him, bringing you to tears is not loving, as speaking to you thru clenched teeth.
Meanwhile, take care of your own health, and hopefully things will get settled.
M88
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Wow. Just wow. The man you are married to really believes that mental illness is something people have control over, and that the still very real stigma of mental illness is not the issue or the reason your brother could not go with plan A. Either he is stressed to the max with his own battles and does not perceive the sheer cruelty of what he just said to you, or he really is a heartless, fair-weather friend type of person...which a true spouse cannot be. Let the dust settle and get into counseling - ideally both of you if there is going to be a chance to save your marriage, or just you if he won't.
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I've not wanted to press upon my husband more than what he feels he can handle so I'm been in this pretty much alone, going to keep him company 6 days out of 8, husband went once w/o me being there. I've stayed in the local area while my husband is 1&1/2 hr away at our home. I've relayed bits and pieces by texting b/c It seemed easier. We'd agreed b/f going to hosp we'd bring him to the AL his social worker's preferred 1st recommendation. Husb and I took a moment to discuss privately, I asked him "How would you decide if it were your Mom?" He literally growled with clenched teeth at me "My mother would be going to a Christian Science home and I've had it with this family of yours!!" Going to the Christian Science home was NOT one of the options available b/c my bro isn't a CS, neither would they accept him, nor would it benefit him to go b/c they don't allow their patients to take medicines of any variety... I've been completely shell shocked since 1:30pm this afternoon. I've been going steadily alright each step of the way til today. We drove to 2nd AL place w/o speaking, it looked fine and agreeded to give it a try if my brother is acceptable to them.
Now unfortunately I am now giving very serious thought to ending my marriage.
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Here's a quick update: My brother's ready to be released from senior behavioral health at hosp, their recommendation is for him to go to assisted living. He & I are both are agreeable. Hosp social worker is helping us, however b/c of his mental illness diagnosis our options of places that will accept him have b/c very limited. His diagnosis is: Neurocognitive Disorder/Mild Cognitive Impairment, Anxiety unspecified, Schizophrenia, paranoid type, r/o Schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type, Nicotine use disorder, has not smoked during current hospitalizization. He req supervision of med management. Ystdy at the hosp they told me I needed to make a decision where he'll be go when discharged today. We went to pick him up to got to one of the AL places they had presented to us, but this morning big WHOOPS-nope they won't accept him b/c of his Schizophrenia....! He was ready to get on with doing everything they are reccomending and looking forward to leaving today. I couldn't bear to face him myself with the let down, and hosp couldn't even get anyone from any AL place to showup to do eval in such a short amt of time. Now my husband if fed up with "my family" po'd at me & growled at me through clenched teeth. I'm in tears now, sorry to say.,,,
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Hi Mulata88 & My Friends,
Thanks for asking, my brother has been receiving the care and treatment he requires. This past week has been progress for him, I'm so -so, doing whatever needs to be done, and here for the long haul. It's been draining as h*ll, more challenges as obviously changes will lay ahead.
God Bless, sis
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How are you doing?
How's your brother?

M88
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Friends,
Thankfully, he was admitted to the senior behavioral unit last night, I'll be seeing him everyday to reinforce his treatment. Sendme2, yes I'm expecting he'll require increased care level as an outpatient and forward down the road which we will comply with gratefully. I've come to accept adjustments in life as the new "normal".
Updates to follow, ttu soon all (((💛)))
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