My elderly parents live with my older brother who is single, never married and has no children. I believe strongly that he has a mental disorder and so does most of my family but no one will do anything about it. He works a full time job and pays for his own rent, food, and whatever else he needs or wants. The problem is with his treatment of "HIS HOUSE" concerning my mom and dad. They are only allowed in their own room. He keeps the house extremely dirty, cluttered, inhabitable to two seniors that are both very ill. My Mom just came through cancer and my dad is an amputee from diabetes and still struggles desparatley to recover from that. They are not allowed to touch anything that is his. Not even the food or the furniture. He says they are diseased and will make him sick.
He cusses out my dad and makes him nervous and scared. My mom can't live with all the arguing between them. He is obssessed with my mom. He says she will never leave his house and over his dead body, yet he neglects her needs and hates my dad. He has moved to sleeping and doing everything in the livingroom and won't move back into his own room so that my parents can go into the living room and watch a show or have visitors over.
I don't understand why he is like this. He wont allow anyone of us to help at all in cleaning out his disgusting house because he is a habitual horder and a very dirty one at that. He never used to be so mean and cruel. At times he is even quite nice and pleasant but he has this obsession with my mom that actually make s me feel ineasy and sick inside.
I feel so bad for my mom but she wont leave. We have tried to get her and dad a place of there own but mom wont leave. My brother depends on my mom for all of his emotional and relational needs. He has only dated a couple of times and that was decades ago. He NEVER LEAVES the house but to work and thats overnights so he doesnt see people. He says people talk about him in public and laugh at him.
My siblings mean well but none of them ever do anything about any of this. One will call me and tell me about all the happenings concerning the situation but they never have a solution. I truly dont know if these acctions consitute abuse.
One more thing. A while back one of my sisters called adult care services about the living conitions in the home. A person came out and said that eveything looked fine. It was so disgutsingly dirty and piled up with trash because my brother hordes things. Also my dad has the first stages of dimensia and gives money away without realizing it. They said he was in his right mind and there was no problem with him "helping" his kids and grandkids. I am so angry about that.