How do I keep them from being so cruel? My moms tone of voice when speaking to me is so hateful and then she denies it when I confront her behavior. Then Phil ignores me or says mean comments referring to me as useless and unwanted. I guess he's right. I do everything for them out of love and I'm stuck there, can't leave because I have no where to go. I've taken up whiskey to calm myself and escape. I don't drink daily but it's up to twice a week now.

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it sounds like you can not continue like this.

and you shouldn't have to.

and you don't have to.

some others will have better advice for you. but I believe you can call your county's aging and adult services. and tell them your mothers problems.

I don't know what your mothers financial situation or age? and for her "Phil" to be calling you useless and unwanted?!

how old are you and are you able to go out on your own?

please don't accept that you are stuck ...reach out for help at least call aging and adult services. make a list before you call and don't leave anything out about your situation. if they cant help, at least maybe they can refer you to someone else.

and I can say for sure that drinking whiskey is not a good idea, and can make things worse.

Erin, honey you need help. And not the kind that comes out of a bottle. You say Penny and Phil are suffering from age-related decline, it could it be dementia? How long since they’ve seen their doctors?

I can’t pull up any of your other posts, but from your profile, I learned that even though you don’t have the best relationship with them, you moved in anyway. Jumped into the lake without a life preserver so to speak. Your heart was in the right place, but I think you knew how this would work out. Did you really expect that they’d be grateful and everything would change when you moved in?

What happens is up to you. They are already driving you to drink. Your health will suffer unless you take action now. Your “heart is broken”. Ok. So what will you do? Is there a tiny bit of self-pity there? That’s about as helpful as the whiskey.

Take on more hours at work. Be diligent about saving money and research low-income housing. Show Penny and Phil by your actions (or inactions) that you’re serious about making your own life. As long as you let yourself be used and abused, they will be more than happy to oblige.

A) You are FAR from "useless"! NEVER believe otherwise!
B) Have a talk with their or your Doctor(s) about Respite Care, because you definitely need a break.
C) Once you have a chance to clear your head, seek out a support group or councilor or Goverment agency to help you find your way clear of the situation. You are NOT obligated to be somewhere where you are mistreated, so try to work on eliminating that mindset. No amount of rationalization can actually justify staying there.
D) Blessings be upon you. Now, bless yourself by starting your climb up the stairs out of that situation.

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