Birth order. Does it contribute to our caregiver role?

I am #2 with an older sister and younger brother. My sister takes Mom one day a week from noon to around 8:00 pm. My brother rarely sees Mom, even though he lives in the same city as us (this has hurt her deeply).

I'm happy that I'm able to take care of Mom. I will admit, that I wish that my siblings were more involved. It will be very upsetting at her funeral when my brother cries the loudest and the longest about how much he loves her when he is choosing to not spend time with her while he can. (I just hope that I can keep my mouth shut and not call out, "B.S" when the crying begins.)

I am # 3 and do 100% of the caregiving. One sister visits once a week for a half an hour, but is "too busy" to do any hands-on caregiving, and my other sister visits about 3 times a year, (she lives about 20 minutes from our folks). Quite often after months of my mother not hearing from one of my sisters, my mother will ask me if she is still alive, and she is not joking. I think there are other factors besides birth order, as some siblings that are married use that as an excuse for not helping out, especially if they have kids. Your question is a good one, but I do not know the answer.

I'm number 2, older brother, younger sister. My husband wouldn't agree, but I have the "Sweetest" personality. If Daddy had gone to live with either of the others, there would have been bloodshed!

Even though my sister and I aren't quite speaking right now, I do come from a good family. They both supported me in important ways during my father's illness. I used to think my family was nuts, but I know now that we were practically "Father Knows Best," at least compared to many families represented here!

I'm a first-born. Also was an only child for nearly 5 years. Much of the conventional wisdom about first-borns applies to me. I'm bossy. I'm well-organized. I'm a take-charge type. I related better to adults as a child. I tended to be a perfectionist (I've gotten over that). My oldest sister (#2 in the family order) is much more relaxed about nearly everything. She took parenting in stride much better than I did, and she is doing extremely well taking in stride the caregiving our mother.

I personally think that our birth-order can have an influence on many aspects of our personalities. That, in turn, can influence how we do many things, from raise our own kids to manage our careers to caring for our elders. It is only one factor among many, of course.

I am the oldest of 6 kids. The others are all much younger than me. I am the oldest daughter - my sister (#3) did some caregiving but has two toddlers and I have no children.

I am an only child.

When I look around at who is doing the vast majority of the caregiving, it falls on the shoulders of the women. It is time to break this stereotype that only the women do this work, let the men take part in helping..... yes, more than just driving or carrying in the groceries.

I am the youngest of four kids. Two older brothers and one older sister. I was the only one with young children, ages 5 and 3. I took care of my mother for fifteen years and my father for the seven years after Mom passed away. No one helped with my Mom, and they visited my Dad only after he was in a nursing home. Being the youngest, they treated me poorly even though I was doing everything. No thank you's no support. It was very difficult and everyone just sat back and criticized what I did and didn't do. They are all great friends and I am left out many times which really hurts me and my family.

I'm an only child, so it all falls upon myself. My father passed away in July of 2012. My husband and I moved my mother in with us that September, following a surgery. It is hard feeling like I do it all alone, but I do feel somewhat lucky that I don't have siblings to argue with. Reading some of the posts on here, regarding sibling rivalry, makes me feel better that there are no arguments about lack of help or money.

Forgot to add #3 of 4 initially. The first born son is deceased now.

I am #3, but I'm the only daughter. That puts me up to #1 when it comes to caregiving.