Big news! Finally got folks into care!!

I appreciate any reminders GA. I’m pretty organized but I gotta tell,you. I was so frazzled and tired this am, I was heading out in the car, pulled over, got out to get the mail, and realized I had my fuzzy slippers on. I woulda fit right in on the old cruise ship

lol windy - keep your sense of humour!!! It helps.

I’m so happy for you and your parents. I too found a wonderful place for my mom who has dementia. My dad’s still doing pretty good at my parents house. He goes to hang out with mom every other day. I do believe God saved my mom this room in AL. I hope your mind will be more at peace now! Congratulations!

Windy, cancel the newspaper if your folks had delivery. How about the mail? I know you have bills already sent to your home. Your Mom might start worrying about holiday cards coming in the mail, or package delivery.

Isn't it something, the folks are enjoying themselves at Assisted Living and here you are running amok trying to get the house in order for winter. It was winter when my Dad had moved to senior living. Thank goodness the neighbor across the street would snow plow the sidewalk in front for the school children bus stop.

With my parent's old Oldsmobile, which felt like I was driving the Queen Mary down the highway, hated that car with a passion, I just donated the car due to its age. I filled out an application on-line with the charity, and they sent me e-mail saying when the tow truck will arrive, and told me how to fill out the Title. It was so easy.....

Except for trying to empty the car before hand. Example, Mom had on the back seat an old heavy cotton curtain to help keep the seat looking new, curtains I remembered in the dining room from my childhood home back in the 1950's. Talk about recycling !!

FF, winter caregiving is hard, really hard. The worst are the midnight or early morning emeregency calls, getting dressed after a few hours of sleep and driving out to the hospital, then later driving home after admission has been completed. And after all that, it's a shock to the human system to leave the warm hospital and go out into the frigid air.

I remember one time in the last few years that the temp was down in single digits when I left the hospital after being there almost all night. BRRRRRRRR!


Windy, thought of something else. I'm guessing you've probably already thought of this, but I'll mention it anyway.

It's access for emergencies after you leave. Sounds like there are enough neighbors there to keep an eye on the house, but installing a lock box on the door would help in the event the FD had to be called. Hopefully there won't be any emergencies though.

The lockbox with house key in it has worked so well for us. I give EMS the combination when I call and they can get there before I do since I'm about 30 miles away. I've also given it to one reliable and resourceful neighbor who stayed with Dad until EMS could arrive. At that time he just didn't want to be alone and during the day it would be almost an hour drive for me.

You can give the combination to neighbors or just to emergency responders. A neighbor can check on the house, especially to make sure the furnace hasn't decided to take a long winter's nap itself and stop working during the cold.

If you go this route, the lock box that's attached to the house is the best. Dad decided the lock with a u-shape handle can be sawed off. I tried it and found that in fact I could get a narrow saw inbetween the u-bar and the door handle.


But perhaps you should warn the neighbors not to call for assistance for you if you wear fuzzy slippers outside again.

There's also the phone. I don't know if their calls could automatically be transferred to the AL by the phone carrier. Do they have a phone in their room yet?

I’m ahead of you guys FF and GA. When I leave next week there will be no mail coming, no paper, (already done) water main off, heat WAY down, fridge cleaned out with door propped open and unplugged, lamps with LED bulbs on, keys to car and house hidden in garage for nephew in emergency, cop neighbor is already on alert, and everyone in the state of West Virginia has my contact info.

I’m going to have all mail redirected to me. The AL will also accept mail for residents, sort it out, throw out junk, and give important stuff to me, and cards etc to mom. But I don’t want to risk that. Lots if potential for screw ups.

Need advice on the phone. They can’t use a cell, can barely use a landline. This facility is set up where I have to arrange for a land line connection like you would any other residence.  Bill in my name and so forth. So,
Do I:

Go with no phone? They haven’t made a peep yet about WHERES THE PHONE.   

Have local phone co connect land line?

Keep old number? Along with 25 scam calls per day ?

Get new number?

What do most people do with a similar situation as mine?

Windy - last year I cancelled my mother's phone in the ALF. She was using it less and less for cognitive reasons I think, and also mobility. She never said a word about it. If your folks aren't asking for a phone, I would not install one. Let it be and see what happens. You are doing great!!!

Having been through a situation in which Dad had to stay at an ALF for 4 days when his house was w/o power, I found it very inconvenient and unsettling not to be able to call him. He felt the same way. There's no way I could have dealt with this on a long term basis.

There might be a time when your folks suddenly feel isolated from you and the family, and w/o a phone they couldn't reach out. Nor could you get an update on what they might need that the AL doesn't supply.

In addition, with so many neighbors concerned, they may want to call or visit.

I would have a land line installed. They're going to get scam calls even with a new number, so I'd keep the existing number but ask the phone provider about a call blocker. Maybe one of the helpful neighbors (or the trooper) could periodically visit and block the scam calls, which are easy to spot with such clever names as "unknown caller".

Windy, you have passed the test with flying colors on how to logistically get things ready :)

Ah, the telephone. My Dad had a landline telephone in his room, and the connection was to the facility automatic switchboard. Yep, Dad to remember a new telephone number, and Dad was like me, we just could not remember telephone numbers. So I had to tape the telephone number and his new address to the lamp next to his landline. The facility provided the landline phone which had really BIG numbers.

What was tough was for my Dad to remember to dial "9" first before making any outside calls. Eventually he got the hang of it.

The only junk calls he got were to the previous renter of his apartment. Thankfully there weren't very many.

Dad had to pay a telephone fee for the rental and use of the phone, he wasn't charged for any long-distance calls.

Oh, cable TV.... Dad had to bring his own cable ready TV... the cable set up was free [really not free if you consider the monthly rent !!!]. The remote provided was fairly easy to use, but Dad every now and then would mess it up. Maintenance would gladly come in to re-set the TV :)

Golden, that’s my feeling so far. However mom is used to me calling and checking in every day. I guess I could make arrangements with staff to use a house cordless phone, call me and give the phone to mom for a chat occasionally.  I will check on that.

And, mom is already falling, forgets to hit her pedant button for her aide. Dads dementia is going off the charts. He’s just in the moment now. I could tell he had to think for a minute this am to figure out who I was.

So maybe not worth the hassles to get room phone.

windy -there may be so much new going on for them that the phone call from you fades into the background. Combine that with increasing cognitive issues and they already have more than they can cope with. Their life is different now. People are caring for them, they can socialize, they are not alone in their home any more. I would let it be for now anyway.

Thanks golden. That’s the way I’m leaning at the moment.

Director of the facility tells me not worry about a phone, especially if it doesn’t seem to be an issue with my folks. She said with both having some dementia and as busy as they are kept in the place it won’t be an issue. Lots of folks get phone lines activated then regret it.

I can call the house number anytime and they will bring a cordless to mom.

Got the paper cancelled, address change done (on line. Who knew?) pulled the GPS tracker off dads car and cancelled that service, (That was just the greatest thing for the last couple of years) phone cut off and garbage pickup cancelled.

Banking today then maybe head home for the holiday tomorrow.

Yay, home for the holidays!!! Well done, Windy!

AND, Spent the morning cancelling phone, trash pickup, newspaper, transferred funds, and will be rolling home for holidays tomorrow.