Follow
Share

My mother naturally is who i am concerned about most. She is 70 this year and has problems with a knee and so is not very mobile. She relies on Tony to take her everywhere....
They live in their own little world and spend all their time together so never really needed anyone else and recently moved, so coupled with the mobility issue has no friends as such in the area and doesn't do anything on her own.
Financially I think she is pretty screwed as well, only having a state pension and ofc the money in the house.
It has come out of the blue and kinda knocked me for 6 tbh.
One minute I know she is not alone and with someone so able to get around and live a normal life.
Next minute...booom!.....world turned on head...
I live relatively near but do not drive so will not be a lot of use with that side of things. Plus if she is not mobile then how is she going to make a new life on her own.
Also on a selfish note..i cannot fill that void and be there all the time either.
I am worried for her and not sure what to do about it.
Has anyone else had any experience of this or useful advice/links etc.
thx

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
I'd like to know, exactly when did I start thinking 70 wasn't that old? Oh my gosh now I know I'm old when I'm thinking, she's NOT that old!! If the only thing wrong with her physically is her mobility, then it's not the end of the world for her. It's a crying shame that her husband has left, but like Jeanne said Graeme, that doesn't mean it's permanent. If there have been problems in the marriage for awhile, then this also could be an opportunity for your mom to ask herself some hard questions in that regard too. I'd say, don't panic this early in the game for sure. Wait to see what shakes out, then you can help if necessary.
(0)
Report

I've been thru this.
Is she clear-headed?
Safe to live alone right now?
If so, be kind, be a shoulder to cry on, but do not fix her.
From my own experience: if you fix her, she will not fix herself. She may need to move back where she used to live. She may need to join a new church. But if you fix her, she may not want to pick up the pieces and move on.....
Don't get me wrong, this is terrible for her, she is 70 and probably expected to stay with Tony for the rest of her life. You say that money is a big problem. But right now, do nothing but listen...........
70 is not the end of life. She is old, but not that old.
(2)
Report

Not all husbands (or wives) who walk out after a big argument are gone for good. Do you think it might be good to defer the panic for a few days and see what developes?
(0)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter