I am only a part-time caregiver. My mother lives in her own home and is in very early dementia so is still capable in terms of making decisions. However very ill with heart failure and cannot do much. Husband and I do all that we can, except we do not take her to doctors, except in an emergency.
My brother does the doctor part, always has, but lately he is bailing out. I truly don't know what to do. My mother doesn't want anyone else to take her to doctors. She is very set in her ways. She and I speak frequently and she tells me about all that ails her. She has severe heart failure and was just hospitalized again and came home. We took her to hospital ER that night. She is now home again but ill. She tells me all about it, but will not tell my brother.
Yesterday she had frightening symptoms and would not tell him as he is "busy and she doesn't want to upset or bother him" (her words). She will not go with husband or I to a doctor. Brother has POA as well, complicating things. So I emailed my brother telling him the situation and got back a curt "I am very busy and you do no one any good complaining about her. I just called her and she is fine". I wrote back that I understood and would no longer email him, but that she is telling a different story to him than to me. No reply.
I just do not know what to do. She is so set in her ways but she is also afraid to tell my brother when she is in trouble. He treats me and my other brother like we are bothering him if we call him about anything. He refuses to recognize that we are all busy, that we all work full-time ), and that we all contribute on a regular basis.