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This morning I called my brother to vent. I was pulling my hair out as I was following Mom around trying to keep her from falling down as she wasn't listening to me. It's his job to talk me down and make me laugh - he's got a great sense of humor. The first thing he said was, "Yeah, well you're not getting ONE PENNY MORE in inheritance than I am, so neiner neiner neiner" and I cracked up. I said, "Wait till I get her up there - she's all yours".

Later today I got a call from Steve and his wife. He's going to come down here for a week next month, and Mom is going to pay for my husband and I to go on a cruise to Cabo (all expenses paid)! I am so excited! Doug and I haven't had alone time for 4 yrs now! We are WAY overdue - we get excited just being able to go shopping together! This Saturday we found someone to watch Mom for a couple of hours while we go to an RV show, and we feel like a couple of teenagers! This is going to be amazing. Just had to share.

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My brother is a hoot! He's a retired attorney who occassionally performs stand up comedy and was a basketball player in high school & college (he was 6'8", but has shrunk considerably).

We have plenty of sunshine and great weather here (Palm Springs, CA area), but LOVE getting away from the desert and to the ocean, especially when the whales are frolicing in the area! Just getting any time away at all is a real plus. Our last time away as a couple was a cruise as well, right before we moved in with Mom, just over 4 years ago. It wasn't Cabo, though, just Ensenada.
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Your brother sounds like a hoot. Enjoy the sunshine in Cabo equilot, you've earned it!
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Enjoy your trip! I hope it meets with all your expectations. Let's hope that the house sells and you all move closer to family. Yeah, it sure helps a lot when family can watch.
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The cruise isn't all that expensive - less than a month of what caregivers would have charged for 3 days a week. We looked into regular caregivers coming in, but unfortunately, when the caregivers come in, we HAVE to go out and spend money somewhere. Either that, or just sit around watching the caregivers. We get by since Doug retired, and Mom helps us when we need it, but we don't want to need it any more than necessary.

The fact of the matter is, we moved in together before Mom really needed care because it was financially advantageous for all of us. Very quickly Mom started needing more and more care. At first we paid rent. Then she needed more care, and when Doug retired, we quit paying rent because she was either going to have to hire someone to help with caregiving, or she could use our services in lieu of rent.

Up until last March, it didn't make any difference if I'd had respite care or not - Doug was working 90 hr work weeks, so when he WAS home, he was sleeping. I convinced him he needed to retire before they killed him.

We are getting ready to move up near my brother and the rest of my family for the sole purpose of getting respite care. We had hoped to be up there by Christmas, but the house fell out of escrow (long story), so it's now back on the market again. Once that happens, I'll have local (free) respite any time I want it, but I won't get the cruise.
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Wow, your mother can afford to send you and your husband on a cruise with all expenses paid? That's great! I'm glad that you are going to be able to spend some time with your husband.

I must ask, if your mother has enough money to send you on a cruise, whey doesn't she spend some of her money on her own care so that you don't have to spend another 4 years without time alone for your husband? That's not really fair to you or to him. Take care of you and your marriage while taking care of mom.
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equillot, I don't know what to say but :-D
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