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Somebody I follow, and I don't remember who, had posted "on my mind"......

If they are giving you a hard time.....They are having a hard time.

THIS has helped me so much! When Mom gets cranky and demanding, I draw out of her what is bothering her, because she can't articulate it on her own. It usually comes down to the lack of independence and control over something small, but knowing what it is, I can either fix it, or help her accept it.

Now I follow quite a few brilliant woman, (and Bob of course) and I would really like to thank you again for this wisdom.

I wanted to discuss it for the newbies that might learn what I did. It has been a game changer for me.I am so much less stressed.

Ok, fess up. Who was it??? You deserve applause!

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Thanks BoniChak,
A friend urged me to do this. Feels like it's going to be a good thing. My Dad is in a home in another town with Alzheimer's and he wants to do everything and can't because he thinks he's fine so he must be locked up. We've tried companions and I go often to visit. He has a better attitude, but he can't accept that he failed his comprehensive tests. HeUsed to be a brilliant man, and it's very sad to see him in jail so to speak. It's been tough coping and watching, but I have my good days and bad days.
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Welcome Holly! Search the site. That is a very common problem and I'm sure there are plenty of good suggestions. I am lucky. Mom LOVES to read and still can. We know she will eventually loose her sight, and then we will switch to books on tape.
No desire to do anything is a big sign of depression. I would discuss that with her Dr. Good luck and come back often. Sometimes I come when I'm frustrated or exhausted and read stories much worse than mine. It puts things in perspective.
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I'm new here and I just wanted to say you should consider yourselves lucky. My mom has no desire to do anything. Now that's a challenge just trying to find entertainment! There's only so many things you can talk about.
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You are the one that taught me to do stop doing too much for Mom and let her control as much as she can Bob. I came into it a little over zealous. So many of you have helped me over the years and it has made such a difference. Mom and I are best friends again, and except for a tough day here and there, we are doing very well. I hope this will go on for many more years.
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i certainly wouldnt want anyone taking control away from me . think about it 80 years of life experience and a 60 ish kid trying to tell you what you want and need . na , we will freakin rumble ..
chemical restraint you say ? i have drugs that make your thorazine look like flintstones vitamins ..
i watched my aunt struggle with cutting up a tough sausage paddy at breakfast the other morning . i saw a couple of old girls looking quizically at me wondering why i didnt do it for edna . because edna has been a wild game butcher for 90 years . she dont need my help to hack up a piece of cooked sausage . she got it , it just took a minute or so because she had the wrong knife for the job .. i dont talk to her like shes a child . i talk to her like shes my intellectual superior -- because she is ..
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