It seems to me that all benefits are for taking care of elderly parents.

I have just discovered that eight states allow the spouse to be the paid for in-home care. Unfortunately for Salee, Nevada is not one of them.

But I find it very encouraging that states are starting to realize how very absurd it is to allow payment to an ex-spouse, but not to a current spouse!

Dear Salee,

I know its hard caring for an elder. There is help, but its sometimes hard to know where to look for it. I'm not sure if you can check with a doctor, social worker or call the town office. I hope you can get some respite care for yourself and something in place for your husband as well. Take care.

I totally agree with you about support for caregivers needing some reworking. I also believe there should be something that protects just one sibling taking care of their aging parent, maybe the other children should have to assist with the care or pay the other sibling for the caregiving.

The benefits are typically for the person who needs care. For example, Medicaid may allow a certain number of hours of in-home care. But you are right that a son or daughter or grandchild might be paid for those hours, while a wife could not be.

I think our whole system of supporting the care of those with chronic illnesses needs re-thinking and new approaches. Supporting the spouse in the role of caregiver is (in my opinion and experience) woefully neglected.