Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

Thank you Llama and you are welcome always, I hope your day has been a very blessed one and you found joy in it. May God bless!

Its unfortunate Veronica that medicare and even a lot of people in this world today doesn't value human life. But Jesus does. Much prayer and care for you. May God bless!


"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
Romans 8:18

Don't have to submit to mamograms or pap smears any more . I am too old. Managed to avoid a colonoscopy till age 75 and only agreed if they put me out. Medicare does not believe in saving the lives of the elderly

smeshque: You're welcome. I hope that you're having an uplifting day because YOU are uplifting and a kindred spirit. Oh, thank you for those compliments about me that you shared with DDDuck.

DDDuck: Oh, thank you so much! You, too, are a wonderful human being!

And DDDuck she is a sweet and kind one.

You too mali. 3 Kindred spirits here. We are strong women, praise be to God.

Thank you Llama, for your strength and courage. And delightfulness . Love the verse.So true, So true. May God rain blessings upon you.

LLama you are inspiring, and beautiful ((Huggs)).

“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
—Deuteronomy 31:8

Smeshque: What a glorious scripture verse! Thank you.

mally1: You were indeed blessed. There are so many of us out there.

Smeshque: Thank you so very much. I am so sorry that you, too, were a victim. It did make us the strong women that we are today! Bless you!

I was blessed; my mom believed me and put a stop to it; thank You, Lord.

I understand, I also have been a victim.
I am so sorry you have been through that and that your mom did not believe you, that had to be so disheartening to say the least. You are a strong, kind, and loving person. I can see in your words how you have taken all that bad that happened to you and turned it into good. You are very strong. I am so happy to have the privilege to exchange words with you. You are a survivor. May God continue to bless you and keep you.



"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:7

smeshque: Thank you SO MUCH! This man was a pedophile in the family and many were his victims including his own granddaughter. I was on my own since my mother chose not to believe me and never even told my brother. I had to.

LL- now I know why you have a good spirit and great strength. I pray for you healing.
May God bless you and keep you.

Andi: Welcome! You are not alone in the abuse category. My own late mother never stood up for me when I was abused by an uncle. She kept corresponding with the vile man! She took it to her grave. I wish you healing.

smeshque: Oh, thank you. You are so sweet.

Indycamille- absolutely, thank you.
God's will be done. Through Jesus Christ our Saviour.

This question applies not only to caregiving, but to all of life. How do we determine what to do with our lives? For Christians, it is "Thy will be done". It is so easy to get pulled in many different directions by what we think we should do according to lots of different perspectives. But peace can be found in relentless pursuit of what God has planned for us for each day. Not what we plan, or what anyone else plans. Not in woulds coulds or shoulds. He has the master plan, and knows what we are capable of and will provide the resources, if we can just focus on and listen to His direction for every moment, hour, and day. "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come THY WILL BE DONE....." That is how Jesus lived His life, and how He asks us to live ours.

Hi Andi, and welcome!

You probably have already found plenty of comments by the many people on this site with similar situations. The key take away in my opinion is that your mom simply cannot control what she is doing nor is aware of the extremely negative effects of her behavior. When you don’t know what you’re doing you cannot change nor help the situation. It’s beyond selfishness or lack of empathy, it’s an illness.

I’d say that more than forgiving her, focus on forgiving yourself. People who’re children of a parent like yours grow up with anger, sadness, frustration and to face a lot of guilt. So, forgive yourself for all you feel guilty about!

At the end of the day, both of you are victims. She’s a victim of her ill mind/personality and you of the consequences of that same illness.

Remember that your understanding of the situation -which she will never reach- makes you the bigger person. Things look and feel a lot different when you know you’re in control. Start exercising the power of your knowledge to not let her words and behavior get to you, because now that you know she’s ill and clueless while you’re aware and informed, everything should be and feel differently. Does it make sense? Hope so!

Also if you’re a believer, resource to God. Because since we’re talking about power, there’s no greater power than the one that comes from above to help us navigate through life :)

Andi, so glad you found this site. I am sorry about your situation. You are in a difficult situation.
Just don't give up and keep praying, your strength and your answers will come. Patience is one of the biggest things for us as humans to deal with. We want it when we want it. God knows best and it will come when he is ready for you to have it, for your own good.
This site will be helpful to you as well. Knowing there are others in your situation , helps a lot. But find your comfort in God's word.
Caregiving is usually seen as a burden. But in fact it is a true blessing. A selfless act of love we get to bestow upon a loved one. It turns our weakness into strength. It helps us see what truly is important in life and how we can endure with the Lord's help, through the most challenging and difficult times.We will look back on these difficult times when it is over, and see how we grew, and our strengths, and how we have no regrets because we did the best that we could to love like 1 Corinthians 13. Caregiving is tremendously hard, but if God brings you to it, HE will bring you through it. So hang around. Will be praying for you, and may God bless you.
And remember:
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

I am new to this site, but have the same difficulties as all of you. I struggle with how to forgive my mother who has never been willing to admit or try to stop the emotional abuse towards me. She is now 84 years of age with even more diminished ability and yet she still acts the same way toward me. I have prayed and sought the Lord for so many years trying to get peace about this . /everytime I believe I have made real progress in forgiveness, she will come out with a new subliminal attack of some sort. It's just so hard! So pray and pray again. The Lord does not ask me to continue to subject myself to the negativity and treatment, but I feel guilty if I walk away from her.

Thank you Llama, I hope you are showered with many blessings, you are so kind hearted.

smeshque: That's a beautiful scripture verse. Blessings to you today.

Rosses003: Oh, I didn't know that! "This girl is on fire." But actually I just love llamas.

Thank you Llama, just talking about what my journey has shown me and taught me. By the way, “Llama” in Spanish means flame, fire...Maybe alludes to faith on fire! Which is a great fire to have inside :)

God bless!

1 John 3:22 - "And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight."

smeshque: Oh, thank you so much for your cheerful words! I'm doing okay and hope that you are as well.

Thank you Ll you are always so encouraging. Hope you are doing well. I always appreciate the verses too. I love that verse from Jeremiah, thank you.

mally1: Uplifting songs like that bring us great cheer!