Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

Smeshque: Oh, that is wonderful that you make the greeting cards! I use a company whereby I can wrote a poem, which is the message of the card and I can put the person's name on the card front. Also I can get a card that says, e.g. "Happy 98th Birthday, Cousin."
I did not rest so well because I kept looking at the clock.
Yes, sing HIS praises!

LL-Safe travels, will keep you in my prayers. Hope you get good rest for the drive. And I hope you have a great time. I make the greeting cards. Sort of a hobby I guess. Thank you also for the Soul food.

Psalms 21:13
Be thou exalted, LORD, in thine own strength: so will we sing and praise thy power.

smeshque: Yes, sending greeting cards was also my mom's favorite thing to do. I am glad that you also enjoy sending them. Most, but not all, of my recipients do not even bother to let me know if the card was received. But I still am me. I am not familiar with Fazzolis, but I'll bet that if you like it that I would, too. I am glad that you realized something new added to your regimen (Magnesium) may have caused you to feel unwell. That's what I experienced with the Bilberry, gave it a rest and then continued with it. I will have to wrap up bedtime early tonight as we have to travel actually an over 2-hour total drive time tomorrow to go to my cousin's High School graduation party. We have had rain every day this week--Monday through Saturday and some creeks are at flood stage and many roads. The Bay Bridge that goes over to the Eastern Shore of Maryland was significantly backed up. Your scripture verse was food for our souls. Thank you!

"You satisfy me more than the richest of foods."  Psalms 63:5

"He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers yeah strength to the weak. Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will fall give up. But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."  Isaiah 40:29-31

LL- Sending cards is a great thing. It is something special to receive in the mail a card because you were remembered. So keep it up. It is a very nice thing, and most people do not take the time anymore to show love in such ways. Glad you do, I also do as well.
7 layer burritos are my favorite fast food. Well, next to Fazzolis.
Hope you had a good day.

Real- I started taking the magnesium and then stopped for fear that it was lowering my BP and making me feel run down. Not sure but it was the only new thing I had done and then started feeling bad. I don't know....

Much love and prayers for all of you.

Isaiah 42:6
I the LORD have called thee in righteousness, and will hold thine hand, and will keep thee...................

Smeshque: I ate just a tad of the rich food that did not agree with my system, but I was able to get to routine ear doctor okay today. Actually at the dinner I got a chance to help my daughter's mother-in-law.
I am glad for your mother and those who celebrated her by texting or calling.
Personally, I enjoy sending cards. Something I rarely receive, BUT that doesn't stop me! I will still be the same person. Another twist of irony-I also love 7 layer burrito.
Just about ready to head home....have a good one & glad that you rested. Oh thank you!

LL- I am sorry about your dinner. Hope the company made up fpr it. I understand about Mcdonalds for you, as I would rather go to taco bell than most places and be perfectly happy with a 7 layer burrito. :) I was very tired last night. But am recovering.
We had good sermons today. One on Praying and one on Love.
So it was fitting your scripture on love. I actually memorized 1 Corinthians 13, the whole chapter. So I can repeat it to myself oft.
Mom did enjoy her day, and only one brother called her and did a quick 1 minute call. But, several of the people that DH and I know, sent her a Happy Mothers Day text. I was so blessed that they did that, it made her day that they thought about her. And worship service is always edifying to all of us.
so again, I hope your Day was as sweet as you are to me.


Isaiah 26:3
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Dear Smeshque: Oh, I am glad that you had a wonderful day with your mom. Now of course you are worn out so please dear, rest well. We went to a rather fancy restaurant, Carrabba's and it was actually way too buttery and rich for my digestive tract. Would you believe that I've got gone to McDonald's and got myself 2 egg mcmuffins and a large orange juice to enjoy in a minute? LOL
Your mom must have so loved the picnic at the beautiful state park!

Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous; is not proud; is not conceited; does not act foolishly; is not selfish; is not easily provoked to anger; keeps no record of wrongs; takes no pleasure in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. ~ I Corinthians 13:4-7.

Thanks Real- I will keep you posted as soon as I notice. I will pay attention if I sleep better tonight. I do feel like I am getting sleepy which is rare, maybe the magnesium? Have a blessed Lord's Day and Mothers Day.

Ll- I do not like tornadic weather. I hope you all are ok. I hope you have a happy Mothers Day. Today I did my Mothers Day for Mom. As Sundays are always full with services . So I always celebrate with her on Saturday. We took her on a day trip, to sate park and had a picnic. She had a good time. I am now wore out.
Wisdom is a pearl

Much love and prayers for you all.

“I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.”
Psalms 16:8

Dear smeshque: Yes, I find the sound of owls soothing, but I've never heard the screeching kind. That would be too loud.
Hope you have a great Mother's Day.

Glad that you got the magnesium. I'm "late to the party on that one, e.g. haven't  purchased it."  We've just had some scary tornadic activity here with large hail and I just made it inside my home, but pretty drenched.

Proverbs 4:6-7, "Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding." guardian angel

Real: Those are lovely words. Thank you for sharing them.

You should sleep better the 1st night and a diminishing of any symptoms right away, improving as your levels stabalize.

LL- It is nice to listen to the owls. They make me a little scared. We have some screech owls and they get to going and it sounds like a jungle. I hope you have a great weekend and a wonderful Mothers Day. Arent we blessed that the Lord's love never ceases and that HIS mercies endure forever. Much love and prayers.

Real- So lovely to read your post. You are also an encouragement to me, thank you. What love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that through Jesus Christ we have that way. You are so right that we should all be thankful that we have a righteous judge. Happy Mother's Day to you also, and May God bless you as well. Much love and prayers for you.
I bought some magnesium today, will let you know the results of it. Do you know how long it takes to show that its working?

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY YA'LL :)

I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. Psalms 130:5

Come now, and let us reason together, saith The Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow, though the be red as crimson, they shall be as wool. Isaiah 1:18

When we fail in our flesh, we have His promises and know that one day we will be perfect, as out Father in Heaven is perfect. We are carnal and make mistakes, thankfully He knows our hearts and has made a way for us.

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms. May God bless you all for all you do. Your conversation is encouraging. Thank you.

Please let me know how the magnesium works. I am curious if others get the relief I do. HUGS🤗

Dearest smeshque: Thank you and sorry to have made you tired. I try to crunch as many things to do together and then I am done. Basically just stop for the night. My husband was watering the grass this evening and had called me out to hear the joyous sound of an owl hooting.

Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

LL- thank you for your kind words. you made me tired just reading that. I hope you have a great time with most of them. You will be tired but hopefully a good tired.


“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”
John 13:35

Dear smeshque: You're very welcome on the tips for self care. Real, thank you for your spiritual words and being a helpmate.
Smeshque, we are having a busy time coming up. Today I was with my daughter all day as she colored my much-needed hair color and then dinner out with her, her husband and friends. (My husband had to bowl this morning and this evening so was unable to come, though I got him carry-out of his fav liver and onions.). I just arrived home. Then Mother's Day, a High School Grad Party for our niece, over 1 hour drive (2 hours total). Then our grandson will have his 18th Birthday and High School grad party combined. A lot of upcoming dr appts and my husband just told me he needs cataract surgery in June.


2 Timothy 1:7

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

Real- thank you for your comments, I am now trying one day at a time, we will see how it goes. Also thank you for the tip of amazon and the ate tip. Help with sleep that sounds lovely.

Ll- Glad you are feeling better and thank you for your words on caring for self. I am trying, just now beginning to start figuring it out. As Real said, one day at a time. I am baby stepping it. Because I still feel tremendous guilt and selfish if I think of me. But again working on it.

May God bless you all!

“I will sing of the mercies of the LORD for ever: with my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations.”
Psalms 89:1

Smeshque: Yes, I am feeling better. Thank you for asking.
Your thought process of loving yourself first can be turned into "caring for your person first" because if you don't, you'll be good to no one. I could understand why that could undermine one's ability to move forward in care as the bible teaches us that "self love" is not desirable. I believe that can be turned into "we must nourish our bodies and feed our mind full of Godly thoughts and missions and rest our bodies, else we fall short of being a carer."

Thank you comments on the lady, Terrileigh (name reveal). I do hope and pray that she has the wherewithal to call 9-1-1 in an emergent situation.

Thank you, Real. I'll certainly try that magnesium tip because anyone who is a migraine sufferer is grateful to learn anything to relieve them! And thank you for your wonderful wisdom; it doesn't go unnoticed.

Implement one day at a time, enough rest, proper nutrition, exercise, one thing that makes you smile, that's how.

We need to take care if us in the same manner we do our LO, I am always asking about the above stuff, that was my light bulb moment.

I hope the magnesium helps, I order Now brand on Amazon. Magnesium citrate 200mg and it is far cheaper then any local source. I also read that mag oxide is the hardest for our bodies to absorb and that is what most lical places carry. Anything that ends with ate is easier to absorb. It also helps with sleep, added bonus.

God Bless every caregiver and give them strength today🤗

Thanks for the tip Real, I think I have a magnesium deficiency, from what I have read.
LL- Hope you are feeling better. I understand about the lady and its such a sad situation.

I was thinking today about a few posts on here when I first started the thread. A few were saying you gotta love yourself first in order to be able to love another. At first, I was being hard about that, in I just didn't get it. How can you love yourself first, and not be selfish. I was watering my plants in the greenhouse, when the Lord finally gave me understanding. If I don't love myself not above or more than others, but first, I can be of no good to another. I was starting to really get depresses and well just depressed. But, now I see how if I do not love me first in that I take care of me first, I am not offering the best to others, because I am not at my best to be able to do that. And on top of that resentment can begin to show up even though you love others so much or do your very best to keep them happy. The resentment isn't about them, its about me. If I would take some time to take care of me, I feel more refreshed to do a better job in loving others. I get it now, but have not yet figured out how to implement it. Hope all that makes sense.

Colossians 3:17
And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

Yes, thank you...I am always one who wants to help someone. My friend and I were very concerned about this woman and so we both visited on 2 separate occasions. The woman has become immobile, which is often the beginning of the end and she has gained weight. What concerns us the most (my friend is, thankfully, an RN) is that this woman has spiking blood pressure (200 systolic) and has been getting dizzy, as well as living in a third floor apartment. I hope and pray that she won't be found on the floor one day.
Thank you for the magnesium tip...I did not know that. Sharing is caring!

'LL, I used to have a lot of migraines and I found that I had a magnesium deficiency. Just a thought, well worth trying.

The Lord God bless and keep you!

That's too bad about the woman. I am terribly sorry for your migraine, I do hope you manage through it and it passes quickly. Will be praying for you. Those things are definately no fun at all.
Feel better.

Smeshhque: Just a few words tonight as I am battling a migraine. Well, while my friend and I would like to help this woman more, she is often acrimonious and just plain nasty so I must protect my person.
Good night for now.

Llama- that is great, You could never bore me. What a blessing you were for that woman. And what a great execution of loving your neighbor as self. And knowing you I know you will bless her with future visits. You are a kind and loving person.
I think you are doing a great job with that commandment. Never stop.
Much love and prayers for you and your family

Proverbs 27:9
Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel.

Dear Smeshque: I'm very happy to hear that your mom is feeling much better. It is hard to meet that challenge of not growing weary in well doing. The commandment I have a hard time understanding is "Love thy neighbor as thyself." But tonight I did just that. Though this woman doesn't live adjacent to me, she lives alone a short distance away. As a fellow friend had visited this woman recently and found out she was doing poorly, I was glad that I stopped over with a blueberry scone. Lest I bore you with any more details, mentally this poor lady is probably not her physical age of 60.
That is so pleasing that you read Psalms every morning. 
Blessings to  you, dearest smeshque.

Yes dear LL- Love work can be quite wearisome. And scripture says don't grow weary in well doing. Quite a challenge that is.

Thank you for your Psalms. It does give me strength and comfort. I do love Psalms. And We read a Psalms every morning together as a family, and pray before getting going on our day.
I often go to Psalms in my hardest times and sad times. It is so refreshing to know that David felt the same way I do sometimes. And it is such comfort.
Mom is back to herself today, thank the Lord. Thank you for your concern.
Looking forward to being refreshed tomorrow, in worship to the King. Love and prayers for you dear one.

Oh dear smeshque: I am so sorry that your mom woke up ill this morning. I am glad that she is feeling better, but of course you are worn out/exhausted. I do hope that you can just stop and rest a while, else you fall ill also.

Psalm 55:22  Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

Psalm 34:19  The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;ive

Smeshque:  I love the poetic book of Psalms and I hope that these 2 verses give you some measure of strength this evening. May you feel HIS presence.

And thank you for sharing those wonderful scriptures with me. The carer must be careful to rest when we can because although it is loving work, it is weary work, too.

Thank you Ll- for the good wishes and hugs from Mom and I back to you. I hope you had a good day. Much love to you.
Mom woke up ill this morning, but she is feeling better thank the Lord. I am so exhausted, and this week has wore me out. But, yet it's amazing the graciousness of God, in that he helps us run when we are weary.

Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Matthew 11:28-30
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.