Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

Susan, very well, and compassionately written.

No offense meant, ShakingDustOff, but your attempts to convert people might be better met if you weren't calling them pagans, demonic, low-IQ, etc.

There's a better way to go about things. You've shown you have a compassionate side in many of your posts, and have offered helpful and valid advice on those posts. But then you post things that are offensive, insulting and often times, downright mean. We'd love to have you as a valued member of the forum if you could just keep that impulse to insult people in check.

Please take this as it is intended - not as an insult to you, but as a bit of advice that will help you enjoy the forum more and have less trouble with others here.

I am sorry if I missed your point. I hope all is well your way.
I have been trying since my Dad was alive to help those who are feeling aged to see the benefits of it. I use to tell my Dad when he got unable to do as he use to, that sometimes we have to moves so much when we are younger, that if we didn't take the time to stop and be with the Lord, well, sometimes maybe he slows us down the older we get, so that we might focus more on HIM. He was a prayer warrior. And even though he was not able to get around well at the end, he still insisted on visiting the sick. We would take him as he wanted. My Mom still does what she is able for the Lord. Loving and serving others as she can, and is able. She has always, she was born to do such.
Now the couple we visit, he made the comment today that all they can do is eat and sit. I am praying for words for him, to see his value as a child of God. We are never too old to continue the work for the Lord in some manner. I just wish that people would see that. Pray is one of the greatest work we can do for another. And it doesn't require us to move quickly. In fact it requires us to be still.
We are God's work, so why not work for HIM.

“But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.”
Isaiah 64:8

Smeshque: Oh, that is good and I have Psalm 1:1-6 memorized, just like you. I think that you missed my point, which is while I am never too old to work for the Lord, my physical person will wane.

Ll- Great verses.
We say Psalms 1 every evening. It is planted in our hearts. One of my favorite Pslams.
You are never too old, to work for the Lord, which is what this life is truly about. you are never too old, to pray for others, to care for others, to love others, to tell others. You never get to retire from the work of the Lord, there is always something one can do. Just a small kindly deed that may cheer another. You are never too old, my friend.
Only the devil will tell you such things.
You keep on loving as you do.

Smeshque: Oh, what wonderful wordsmithing skills you have written on this day! I feel like I am getting too old to continue what I do, but I still strive to accomplish it.


Psalm 1-6 King James Version (KJV)

1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

4 The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.

5 Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

6 For the Lord knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

What great nourishment LL.

There is no way, that I could o through the things in life, and maintain some joy , if it were not for Jesus. The Lord is so good, and he does not give us more than we can bear. Sometimes it may feel like it, but He is true to HIS word and will not give us more than we can take. It is a neat thing to think that our lives are specifically designed for each and every one of us. So whatever comes your way, was meant just for you. And God is a very present help in times of trouble.
I just feel so overwhelmed with joy this day. I haven't felt it in such a while, as the devil has been really trying to get to me.
But, I have my armor on now. And you know the word says to put on your armor, but no where does it ever say to take it off. So we should always be armed.

Ephesians 6:10-18
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

Psalm 34:8

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man
takes refuge in him

Isaiah 26:3-4

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

“Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”
Psalms 37:4

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous. 1 John 5:3

Smeshque: Oh, yes, it absolutely is!
What lovely scripture you bestoweth on me!


Proverbs 13:4 

The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.

LL- Thank you. I think memorizing scripture is how we write it into our hearts.

2 Corinthians 3:3
Forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart.

Smeshque: I meant to include this scripture, but my last post had timed out for editing. I am sorry it has been such a struggle for you for the last few weeks, but glad for God's sign to you. I thought of this verse.

Proverbs 24:16 "For a just man falleth seven times and riseth up again ......"

That is one of my favorite verses and can be applied to equal genders, I do suppose. We are not meant to be perfect, but yet we can prevail.

I so love Isaiah 41:10. Oftentimes I used to do verse memorization.

Smeshque: Oh, I am so glad that you had a good day and I know that your mom is a pleasant lady, just like you. Oh, thank you for saying that I am sweet. I may try. That is pleasing to the heart and soul scripture verses!

LL- The soul food is very nutritious. He has the hairs on our head numbered. Today has been such a nice day for me of feeling God's love. It has been such a struggle for me the last few weeks, and today God gave me some relief. And I believe my Mom had a good day today too. She is such a sweet lady, and I am blessed to be able to be with her.
Just like your sweet heart.

Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. 1 John 3:1

“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”
Isaiah 41:10

Smeshque: Thank you for that about the senior man of the cloth at my church. I hope that I am wrong about all of it. I will see. Yes, your analogy of the "unrecognized" water boy as it relates to caregiving is a good one. Oftentimes, we humans feel that we are that water boy, but we are not meant to be perfect, else, as you said, there would be no need for Christ, our Saviour. Keep your chin up, smeshque, because you are deserving of much appreciation (oftentimes, I felt like a behind-the-scenes person when I was away from my home and family and pets providing care for my mother, but yet somehow I rallied.) So, too, will you.
Oh, such lovely scripture you give tonight!



3. Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?



7. Isaiah 43:1 But now this is what the LORD says, the one who created you, Jacob, the one who formed you, Israel: “Do not be afraid, because I’ve redeemed you. I’ve called you by name; you are mine.

LL- I am very sorry for the things going on with your church. Just keep praying on the matter.

I can't help but feel like the water boy. You know the one that brings the team water to keep them hydrated. No one knows his name and he gets no fame nor fortune, he is just there to keep the players hydrated so they can play the game, get the fame and the fortune and they probably don't even know his name.
Sometimes things in life don't feel so good. But if it was perfect here, there would be no need of a Saviour and Heaven. Both to look forward to spending eternity with and in.

Mark 10:30
But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.

Smeshque: I am glad that you had good sermons. Something at my church happened involving the senior pastor and it was very uncharacteristic of a man of the cloth. I am disturbed by it. There is a school also at the church, grades K-12. It had no computer education whatsoever until a friend did everything to get it up and running out of her own finances. She and her husband tithed by auto deduction from their financial account, too. She even offered to teach a coding class for free (formerly the school charged for it) and even bought out of pocket incentives and prizes for kids. The pastor sulked! I am not very happy at all about that and neither are many of my friends.
I pray that your dear mom gets better and you can worry less.
Oh, what lovely soul food.

Ll- Hope you get rest. Today we had 2 good sermons. One on living your baptism. How some get baptized washing away their sins and carry on living a sinful life, never conforming to Christ. But how when we are baptized, washing away our sins, it should be reflected in our lives daily. As in how we live (ceasing from sin), how we should serve the church, and love it more than family, being that it is the body of Christ. I think it is heartbreaking that their are so many sincere people that do not believe baptism is necessary for salvation, that it is just an option, but the scripture is clear on the matter.
The second on fellowship, Fellowship with God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, and with one another, as well as who not to have fellowship with.

If it was not for my faith and belief in our resurrected Saviour, the struggles of caregiving would be quite overwhelming and I could just not do it on my own. I have been so worried about my Mom lately. And if I did not have God to give my concerns to, I just could not do it.
I pray every night for all these caregivers on here. Every night.


For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing. 1 Peter 3:17

Smeshque: Yes, the poem is written for the friend, but I just need  her to accept my social media friend request. Now I am getting weary from another long day.
I hope that you've gotten some restorative rest.

LL- I appreciate your concern.
I hope your poem writing goes well.
So glad you are caught up.

Thank you as well for the soul food.

Smeshque: Oh, I am so very relieved that you didn't get flooded. I actually did not have time to watch a forecast of the Oklahoma area flooding, but my husband mentioned it and I was concerned for your safety.
Yes, I am caught up and now I'm going to compose a short poem for a friend who had, in a round about way, asked me if I could. So that will not really take that long at all.
I am so glad that your mother had a blessed, good and happy day! That means so much to elders.

Oh, what lovely scripture! Praise HIM!

2. Philippians 4:19  "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus."

There was quite a bit of flooding here. But, we are on a hill so it doesn't a
affect us much. The roads however were pretty bad for a bit around us. Our neighbor is on lower ground and he gets flooded almost every year. I never understood why they didn't build on higher ground, guess he didn't know.
I hope you get caught up.
Had a great time with my Mom today. I was able to be cheerful and make her laugh. Such a blessing.

Psalms 34:4 - I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

Smeshque: Yes, mere mortals are we. Wow, it is so hard for me to try to catch up, but I'm plugging away as I don't just do this. I am sorry that you will have those hard 3 days and I am so sorry that your mom seems to be declining. We will also do Father's Day early, but I was glad that I got ready early for that. Some people ask me why I do that~~there is the answer. I have heard of flooding in Oklahoma and I hope you weren't affected.
A lovely verse. Sorry to not write more but playing catch up on my full plate.

LL- sometimes as mere mortals, we forget that is what we are, mere mortals.
I am glad you got all things accomplished and are reviving I hope.
Thank you for the verse. Don't you wish that everyone knew and loved Jesus simply for what He did and continues to do for us.
One day though all will know HIM.
I have had a dilemma all day, and finally with much prayer and contemplation, I have received my answer. So now my Spirit is at ease and I am going to try and relax. A long next 3 days ahead of me. My Mom seems to be forgetting more and more, but I cannot discern yet if it is a lack of rest or too much going on for her, or what. I am paying close attention to it. There is days that it is better than others and some days, my heart hurts that she is struggling. But, God is with that woman for certain, and He will get her through and me too. I thank the Lord each and everyday of the time I have with her. Even though some days are more difficult than others, I wouldn't change it for the world. I just keep the following verse in my mind.
May God bless you.

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Smeshque: That is a wonderful analogy about caregivers being akin to Andrew. Of course, as mere mortals, we desire to at least be recognized as caregivers and what we do and have do for our loved ones. We would move Heaven and Earth for them, if we could, though we cannot, as we are not GOD.

Smeshque: Oh, Praise HIM that the little girl named Sinai has been found! Oh, that just makes my night! Wonderful!
Yes, indeed I'd had some tiring days, but I rallied and got everything done. Thank you for thinking of me, dear Smeasque!




Philippians 2:9-11 English Standard Version (ESV)

9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

Sometimes as a caregiver, we may feel unnoticed, unappreciated, and maybe even unloved.
I was thinking how being a caregiver is like being an Andrew.
Let me explain.
Peter and Andrew were apostles of Jesus. They were brothers.
Andrew found out that the Messiah (Jesus) was there and he went and fetched Peter and brought him to Jesus. John 1:40-42
Now in scripture you can read so much about Peter and the things that Peter did. He wrote many books of the Bible, he did many great things in the name of Jesus. And he was one of the most notable of the apostles.
Now in scripture we do not hear much about Andrew.Namely, that he was Simon Peters brother and one of the apostles.
So he did not get much recognition. We have no idea the things that he did. We just don't know much about this Andrew. It would seem that Andrew is not noticed as much as Peter, or Appreciated as much as Peter, or Loved as much as Peter.
But here is what is significant about Andrew. We would know nothing about Peter without Andrew. If it were not for Andrew, willingly and unselfishly and lovingly bringing Peter to Jesus, We would not know Peter.
So Andrew is very important and vital.
Just like caregivers, we may go unnoticed, feel unappreciated, and even sometimes unloved. But we play a very important and vital role in our Loved ones life.
We are Andrews.

Thank you to anyone that was praying for the safe return of the missing girl. They have found her. Praise God!

LL-I hope you will be getting some rest, I know you have had quite the busy day and it will continue a few more.

“For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”
John 3:17

Smeshque: Spot on accurate! Sometimes when I think my house may be messy, I see others with a hoarding disease and I say "My house is a palace." No, not really; I am not that naive. At my age, there just aren't enough hours in the day and sweeping a floor or dusting will always need to be repeated and repeated and repeated. It is clean ENOUGH. So I say "Llamalover47, do other important things like looking at my eye machine so that my vision does not worsen because my vision is of paramount importance. Or write to Smeshque because my new-found friend may need a word or two."
Today I know I will tire easily as I as never up to see the morning light and dislike it a lot, but I must be up to drive shortly. Like last night, I folded my laundry, but I did not put it away. I just moved it to another room from off the sofa so that my husband can lie on the sofa after I bring him back from surgery. Did I worry about it? I cannot, though I used to. I bathed and got it bed for a few fast winks. What is really great is that my hubby is one of 39 first cousins, and everyone is praying on Social Media for the 2 undergoing surgery! All on one group private message!! Our Heavenly Physician is bound to hear the prayers with SO MANY praying!!

Dear smeshque, you tied that scripture verse in perfectly! You are perfectly and wonderfully made, saith the Lord, thy God!

LL- I am still a little OCD. Much better than I use to be, but still.
I fight frustration a lot when I am not able to do things the way my mind says should be done. But I am growing spiritually, praise God, and am getting better at several things I have issues with. Baby steps.
Today I was thinking how caregiving is kinda like singing next to a tone deaf person. So, they overpower you with their voice and you cannot hear your own tone. So you either stop singing or sing softer so that you can continue singing. Or you could be hateful and ask them to stop singing, so that you could sing louder.
Well, When you mesh lives together. One person lives this way and the other that. One person wants things this way and the other that. One person likes this and the other like that. And so on. So we have a choice. We either stop our own life to accommodate the LO. Creating misery and frustration and resentment. Or, we live softer. Compromising where our life is not high priority, but we humble ourselves and keep parts of ourselves that don't hinder care but allow us to remain us as best we can, so we can continue living and loving. Or we can be hateful and Not sacrifice anything of ourselves for LO, But selfishly hold on to our lives as we like and not willing to budge or compromise, because we feel its unfair or it's "our" time, and just await their ceasing.

I don't know if my ramble made any sense.


“For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.”
Hebrews 6:10