Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

Wonderful, merciful Savior
Precious Redeemer and friend
Who would have thought that a lamb could
Rescue the souls of men
Oh, You rescue the souls of men

Counselor, Comforter, Keeper
Spirit we long to embrace
You offer hope when our hearts have
Hopelessly lost the way
Oh, we hopelessly lost the way

You are the one that we praise
You are the one we adore
You give the healing and grace
Our hearts always hunger for
Oh, our hearts always hunger for

Almighty, infinite Father
Faithfully loving Your own
Here in our weakness You find us
Falling before Your throne
Oh, we're falling before Your throne

You are the one that we praise
You are the one we adore
You give the healing and grace
Our hearts always hunger for
Oh, our hearts always hunger for.

Sung by Phillips, Craig & Dean

Fruit of the Spirit~Gentleness

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.
Proverbs 15:1-2

smeshque: Thanks much!

It does feel like your burnt out. And it does feel like that your heart ❣ is very very loving and giving.

You write that we are all sinners ( my words) and I repeat . We are all sinners. Jesus died in the cross to take our sins away. We humans are so so blessed and we can be grateful that Jesus died on the cross for US.
Jesus wants us to feel loved. God is just pure love.

So without jumping up and down tiring yourself out: how can you feel blessed?

My idea may fit ..... just be kind. Be kind to others. Stay safe. Be kind. Stay safe.

“How do we have joy during our trials and tribulations ?’

Fleetingly.
We can hold joy in little moments. When we go outside and see a beautiful flower lifting its head of petals to the sun 🌞. A woman cuddling their newborn child, a Grown son holding their arm out to help their aging father walk across the road.
The wind softly blowing against our face 5am.

LL- Always in my prayers. It will get better, hang in there.

Rosses- Beautifully put, Beautifully. Thank you.

Shell- Thank you for your post. The encouragement of trusting Him.

Much love and prayers for all of you, and Frazzled also.

“And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:” 
1 John 5:14

Smeshque: That is a lovely discourse! Thank you for your uplifting, soulful words!💖💖💖

Shell: Hang in there! Look to Jesus for support. He died for us all.

Rosses: Thank for supporting Annie!

My resolve is fading. I look to the Lord for help. Please pray for me. Tia.

Hi Annie,

I think all of us can relate to how incredibly hard this journey is in so many different ways. But interestingly enough, this struggle that takes us completely out of our comfort zone, that makes us wonder if we will endure what comes next, and even sometimes we may wonder if God forgot us...yes, we are humans, we may feel all that, but this journey full of trials is also one of the greatest opportunities for real growth we have, specially in the areas where we need it the most; and which those areas are, only each one of us knows it.

In my case I think the biggest areas of growth have been to really put my words into action, actions that fully support every “I love you” I have said to my mom in my life; also my understanding towards others, specially those who could and should help, yet don’t care to help and don’t even comprehend what we are going through. My patience, to put in practice true meekness, to really put others before me. All of this is part of my daily learning, a work in progress.

Of course there are MANY moments when I fall short, many moments during the day! But it is that very moment to moment struggle what forces me to learn, and this everyday learning has enhanced my spiritual life incredibly.
That, is the greatest blessing of all.

When I feel tired beyond words, incapable, inadequate, small...I try to remember that the goal as Christians is to allow others to feel the love of Jesus through our actions. That is such a tall task, Isn’t it? But I’ve found it is the greatest reminder of who we should be, and the greatest encouragement to fulfill our upmost purpose.

I share all of this with the hope that in the midst of all the pain you are feeling, you’re able to find those areas of growth that this journey is meant to touch, and while going through this you’re always able to feel the love of God, who never, ever! leaves our side, specially when we suffer. From my heart I hope you are able to find some peace and rest in knowing that all you’re doing is a blessing, a blessing that your mom is receiving through you, and that you are receiving through your mom.

May God bless you both!!

I struggle with it everyday! We should put ourselves a side with the Lord. He wants us to put others before ourselves, but He doesn't want us to be doormats either. The way I understand it is we find our strength, joy, peace, love, and everything we need and His promises in Him.
Do I have joy or peace every day, no, but I go through my day saying, "God, You put me here for a reason, and You can get me out of it anytime now. I remind myself that Jesus died for me to have life and to have it more abundant. I thank him all day every day. I see the little things He does and I thank Him. Example, my mother is quite for the day or most things went smoothly today so, I thank Him. I just remind myself how good He is and He has everything under control. But it is hard to feel joy when someone is on your last nerve. Just keep taking time for yourself and for Him. I put myself in time out when I feel like I am overwhelmed or about to lose it.
Remember we can stand firm in Him. He lives in us, have confidence in He who lives in you.

May God keep you in His peace and give you His strength. Comfort you in your darkest times. God bless you. I will pray for you.

Hang in there Anni, my fellow soldier.
I can understand your feelings. This labor of love is soooooo hard at times, especially for our human selves.
When I start feeling that, I think about how the Son of God(God in the flesh) left His perfect home full of love and peace and joy, and came to this earth and was ridiculed, spit upon, lied about and then had to hand from a cross with His hands and feet nailed to it. Suffering and bleeding and dying. I know that was not pleasant at all . But He did that for us.
And we too will have an amount of suffering and trials and persecutions that we will need to endure through. If this life was perfect, how many of us would strive for Heaven and long for it? We would never want to leave this earth. But, because our lives our enduring and trying at times, we dream of Heaven and hope and long for it. Because no one loves us like Jesus. No one.
I will keep you in my prayers.

Don't let the devil make your faith waver. He is a liar.



2 Timothy 3:12
Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.
2 Timothy 2:12
If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us:

Anniepeepie: I know it can be really wearing one thin to the bone. But if you put faith in HIM, you can get through anything! I will be praying for you. I am going through a vein problem that has been ongoing since August 30 and I have "the best vein specialist in the business." I am just hanging on by one thread.
Hang in there and look to HIM for relief.
Oh, and have you tried to put Vicks Vaporub under your nose? It is supposed to help you, so I've been told.

All of this is so wearing. Sometimes I really struggle as a believer to have to endure it all. Much less to be happy and thankful when I am watching my mother simply struggle to breathe and dumping out nasty commode chairs all day. Definitely a difficult trial.
Whats that saying- about putting the VERY BEST warriors on the front lines? Thats what we have to consider because that is exactly where we are!

It is a good thing to give thanks unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto thy name, O most High: To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night,
Psalms 92:1-2

“For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.” 
Psalms 100:5

I work every day on AgingCare answering questions as they come in from the 4 daily emails. I may miss some because I'm not as young as I used to be and I have had numerous doctor visits with problems that come up when one is about to turn 72. One would be very fortunate if they never had any health issues; that is a given. So there is nothing to be sad about. I am absolutely certain that there are many wonderful persons on AgingCare who offer much more wisdom than I could ever hope to accomplish.

Frazzled: Such beautiful scripture. Thank you for posting it!

Smeshque: Much success on your Nursing School.

Rosses003: Isn't that the truth, e.g. tough to make decisions, but sometimes one must make the decision.

Thank you Frazzled. I understand that when we see what we think is the door being slammed in our faces, that we fail to see the window being raised.
I am glad you were able to see that you are where HE wants you. And even though money is the grease that slides us through this world. Its more important to be happy and contented than all greasy :]
Now I am stepping towards something, and at the same time I know the Lord can turn me a different direction. And that is ok, I truly just want to do what pleases HIM.
I thank you Frazzled, you are always a bit of light I look for on here. Shine on!
I do like the verse in Jeremiah, it is so true, sometimes we think we know whats best but truly we cannot see past this very moment to know whats best. But our Father HE is all knowing all seeing all wise, and HE leads HIS children where HE wants or needs them to be. God is Great!

Congratulations on pursuing your nursing education, Smeshque, that is a big step! I've been in that position before too. I remember a couple of years ago I was working long hours at a job that was okay and decent pay, but very demanding as far as scheduling and not many days off. I had applied for other jobs hoping to be able to do something that I felt gave me more opportunities to advance or better hours, to no avail.

Little did I know what family situations I would face since then, but God knew. In His grace and wisdom, those doors that I thought were being slammed in my face were a blessing in disguise. When I was pregnant with my daughter and ended up on modified bedrest, I couldn't go on working the demanding schedule. He opened the door for me to eventually start my own at-home business to help supplement our income. While I don't make nearly as much as I did before, it has allowed me the flexibility to attend to family issues that have come up, with our kids, and then taking care of mom and all that we have gone through since.

It reminds me of Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

It saddens me that no one carries on here when I am away. I am trying to write more as my load has become lighter hallelujah!
I went back to work as some of you know. Working 12 hour days, 3 days a week. Then it became 4 days, then more and more until they were wanting me to work everyday. Short of help, as management I was having to fill the empty days.
I worked 2 Sundays, for which I am ashamed that I went against my convictions. When originally hired I said no Sundays they accommodated then we got a new director, and she was going to do things her way. Well, even though I received a promotion and a raise, I was in such torment. I wasn't home as much as I should have been and when I was I was just so exhausted to really care about anything. I became like a robot, not feeling just doing.
I started thinking how foolish it was. I did not have to do this job, why was I? Why was I walking around everyday in such a sour mood and not smiling anymore? I don't know. There were some elderly people I came to care about at my work, and I wanted to be there for them. You see they didn't smile when I first started there. But as I started smiling at them and saying hello and stopping to chat, they began to brighten up. And everyday they looked forward to my talks. So I got emotionally involved and it was breaking my heart to leave them, but I knew that I could not choose this job over my family. I talked with the Lord much about it. I was enjoying that extra income, but was no longer enjoying life or my family or anything really.
So after much prayer and meditation the Lord finally released my of the guilt, and I quit. Just quit. I feel peaceful about it, as if that was the right thing. My family seems happy about it. So Monday I will begin school in pursuit of becoming a nurse. I started several times and obstacles have gotten in the way, but we'll see.
Whether I work as a nurse one day or just finish school, doesn't matter. But this is the thing I am going to do.
It has been eating at me for a while. It truly is up to the Lord if HE leads me through that door or if HE has something else planned that I am not aware of. We shall see.
I am just so thankful to have some peace and actually enjoy the days now.
Well guess I just needed to share.
Thanks


Therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip. Hebrews 2:1

Not one person is perfect.

How do we know when we have done the right thing or made the right decision?

When we feel at peace.

I’m living proof of that. In my case one of the biggest decisions of my life was to leave everything behind to come do what I knew in my heart was right. I struggled to make the decision a lot. But when I finally did it and ever since that moment, I’ve had peace. I may be tired (a lot), at times hurt, some other times even angry...but even when experiencing all of that I know deep in my heart, that I’ve peace.

Long story to just reassure you, if you needed any reassurance, that as long as you have peace in your heart, you can be sure you’re making the right decision.

Hope peace also brings rest to you, as rest is fuel.
May God bless you!!

It's 2 am, I cannot sleep. I have been in much prayer and meditation. I feel a huge weight off my chest. I have made some decisions finally about some things and I feel at peace with my conclusion. I have missed you all very much and will write more tomorrow. Those of you who have shown concern for me, I thank you. There are such loving people on this site, who genuinely care, what a blessing. Goodnight all, I am going to at least relax, maybe sleep will come. A big turning point tomorrow. Much love and prayers for you my AC family.

"Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name."
Psalms 100:4

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” 
Proverbs 1:7

Thank you all for your prayers and concern. I am just heavy right now with figuring out some things. Haven't felt much like writing, please forgive me. And those who have sent me a PM, I am sorry to delay in responding, but I will as soon as my mind and heart are cleared of these things. I thank you so much for your prayers, please continue to keep me in them, as you all are always in mine. Much love to you all.

Ephesians 6:18
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;