Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

Yes Ll, that is beautiful and tear producing. Thank you for that

Oh Llama, that is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this!

Will You Tie My Shoes When I Grow Old
You were beautiful,
my tiny child,
wrapped tightly in my arms,
close to my heart.
I listened to you breathing.
I counted your fingers
and your toes.
Helpless,
you cried out to me
and I loved you
with every ounce of my soul.

Will you hear me
when I cry out?
Will you hold me close
as I held you then?

I remember the day
You took your first step.
There was no stopping you.
Your feet gave you freedom
to explore the world
like never before
but danger lurked.
I opened those doors anyway,
cautiously,
and introduced
you to the world.
Where will you be
when my legs
no longer run?
no longer work?
Will you realize
that I love
freedom too?

I laugh
about that day
you first tied your shoe.
We tried and tried
to get that rabbit
in that hole
and you finally did it.
You pointed your toes
for everyone to see
how proud you were.

I am proud too,
of my writing
and my drawing,
of my needlework
and my cooking.
But my hands are beginning to ache
and my fingers will not bend.
I will lose the things
that make me proud
except for you.
Hopefully not you.
Will you let me
brag on you?
Even tell wild stories
that are a bit beyond the truth?
Will you be proud of me too?

I waved good-bye
that morning when you left
on that large, yellow bus.
I was so scared.
I know you were too.
You waved at me bravely
through the dusty window
but I saw the water
forming in your eyes.
You came home, however,
full of pride and joy.
You sang the alphabet song
and got most of it right.
You practiced for hours
until you could sing it
even in your sleep.

But
I'm afraid.
I forgot
whether I took
my pills today or not.
I forgot
if I told this story before.
I even forgot once
who you were
and it terrified me.
My mind
is my treasure
the only thing I have left,
and I heard you make
fun of me
for not remembering
that I gave you the
same gift as last year.
Will you love me
when I no longer
know who I am?

You came home blushing
from the glow of
your first kiss.
Your first love,
the one you thought was real.
You talked about him non-stop.
You changed for him. You gave.
But he left you anyway
for a blue-eyed girl
and I held you
while you cried for him.

I too have a
broken heart.
The love of my life
left me after
fifty-six years.
He left me here
to live life on my own
while he moved on
to another realm
And I cry for him too.
I long for his shoulder
and strong embrace.
I feel betrayed
because he and I
made a deal
that we would never
leave the other alone.
Yet I am alone
sitting in an echoing house
with no hands to hold.

You welcomed her home today-
your tiny baby girl.
She has your eyes
and possibly your toes.
I see you counting them
as they roll me
into the room.
You finally came
to visit.
It has been a while.

You look up at me
with tears in your eyes
and ask
almost desperately,

"Will she tie my
shoes
when I get old? "

This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness
The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.

Lamentations 3:21-26

Smeshque: That is a great story about listening to your mother tell the stories. I believe that that is where I struggled because my late mother did the same thing. To some extent, I believe all elders may repeat. YOU are doing far better than I did because now I long to hear those 1,001 stories just one more time!

I have really been practicing living in the moment, and not rushing through it
It has really been helpful to me, with Mom. She loves to talk and tell stories of long ago, most of which I have heard over and over. But, I am practicing being more of an active listener, and I have never told her that i have already heard a story, bit always listened as if it was the first time I heard it. But now I am trying to really just enjoy her story and the joy that she feels in telling them. Before I would just go through the motions of listening but not really be listening because I already heard. But I am really trying.
My DH gave me encouragement with these words " If Mom doesn't know that you are frustrated, tired and sometimes heavy hearted, then you are doing a great job Loving her."
So, I just try and keep it that way. I want her to not have a care in the world. I know the life she has had, and I know the love she has given, especially to me. So I never want her to feel bad.
I don't care how much you love someone. It is hard being with them 24/7, so hard.
But, I never want her to feel that. I draw from childhood when I was probably so aggravating to her, I never knew it because she always made me feel love. That is all I want to return to her. But, she was/is definitely a much stronger person emotionally than I am, so I have to practice, practice, practice.
But I am determined to get this right with the Lord Almighty's help.

Smeshque: That was a wonderful analogy! I am always a "glass-half-full minded person," else one could get down in the dumps with depressive thoughts. I am very glad that you were able to get some restorative sleep and rest for the mind; it is so much needed for us to be able to move forward. "Yes, the struggles of the day - I was called in to my orthopedist early and had only 5 minutes to fly down the roadway."

5. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10)

I hope my fellow caregivers are doing well this evening. Having made it through the struggles of the day.




Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
John 14:6

GODISNOWHERE

How do you see the glass, half full or half empty?
DO you see GOD IS NO WHERE or do you see
GOD IS NOW HERE?



Thank you LL- I appreciate your care. We are doing ok. Took a day to rest our minds and bodies. Much needed. The Lord has revived our Spirits.

Dear Smeshque: Oh, I am so sorry to learn of DH's Uncle Gary's and Your uncle's passing. It saddens us when our loved ones leave this mortal world, but know that they have eternal rest with our Heavenly Father. Many prayers and hugs are sent your way from your friend in Maryland. I am sending many condolences on your two losses. It is comforting to know that they are close by, in your family plot.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18


17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Thank you Rosses, My faith is what keeps me going. It brings me strength and courage. Thank you.

And the love and support from those here are a blessing to me.

God is good everyday, and everyday God is good!

Dear Smeshque,

Yes, this is the part of life that we all hope we never had to go through, specially when it comes to our loved ones. Please know that prayers are with you, your family and your husband’s uncle’s soul. Remember he is finally resting. May that be the comfort you and your husband find, knowing that he is, after all the suffering, at peace and with our Father. Really no better place to be at the end of our path!
May God bless you very specially today, and through the following days which will be particularly hard. I’m sure your husband will find the perfect words to honor his life and the footprints he left in each one of you.
An specially warm hug! Keep up your faith and your hope, always!

Thank you Lu,
It is a little rough, but, I know that God is in control and we will be ok.
I always tell my Mom if God brings us to it, HE will bring us through it.
And I always recognize that it could be worse.
Thank you again, my friend.

Losing 2 Loved one's so closely together is awful smeshque and I'm so sorry.

Well, it has been a rough start to this month. Last Saturday my uncle was buried and this Saturday(tomorrow) my DH uncle will be buried. a week a part.
The grevediggers will be here early to bury him in our family cemetary.
I am not sure what happened with DH uncle. He was making progress and then 2 days later they said they were going to place him on hospice, there is nothing else we can do,then today he died. So spent the evening helping family get the things together for his burial. It will be done the way of the tribe.
This is just a part of life I dislike so much.

Smeshque: I do hope your mom does not get the flu. Some strains are deadly. My daughter fought H1N1 and it was VERY BAD. She could have died. Did your mom get the pneumonia shot?
Glad you got back from your trip and your mom enjoyed it. I did get letter today, almost got lost-a resident brought it to the door. I'll have to ask you to be patient as I must start my daughter's income taxes. Ty.

LL- I am not sure if Mom is allergic or not to the flu shot. She just stopped doing them, her choice. As they did always make her ill.
DH uncle is doing better, slow progress, but progress is good thank the Lord
It is very heart wrenching about the babies. Oh it breaks my heart. So many people would love and cherish that baby. Me being one.
I hope your DH appt. tomorrow for his back goes well.

Our day trip was nice. Mom is in bed she is tuckered out, she had such fun. And thank the Lord we drove through a rain storm and arrived at our destination, with a warm 74 degrees and no rain. We had a good time, especially Mom. Which is the reason we go as often as possible. There is this place along the way home that if we pass by, she likes to stop there and read the bible together, and sing some songs, in the beauty of the woods and waterfalls around us. It's a sweet thing.
But I am thankful we made it back to our place of stay safely.

Thank you all for your prayers DH uncle is beating the pneumonia, and is breathing good without the assistance of oxygen. Thank the Lord!

Smeshque: So was your mother allergic to the products in
the influenza shot? Maybe your mom can no longer drink milk?
Your DH's Uncle is young. I have found through this site that sometimes - but not always - family members who are supposed to take care of their dad don't.
Hubby has injured his back. Appt set for Thurs.
Very upsetting news has been about women going to full term birth only to abort the child at the last minute. A good friend posted about it and her son talked to the offending poster on social media.

LL- Mom refused flu shot, based on that she always gets sick when she gets one. It's true. I think her feeling bad was some milk she shouldn't have drank. It wasa stomach thing, no fever. But she is over it. But, she did not sleep well last night so today was a hard one for her, but she is a trooper.
Dh uncle is on his 60's not sure exactly, just know he is in his 60's. He had a drinking problem most of his life, quit a few years back, then had some heart troubles was on a lot of med's. Then he had a stroke, was supposed to go to NH for rehab, did not make it out. Now he has pneumonia. He is maintaining, but just waiting. His son and niece have joint guardian of him. But they really haven't taken the job seriously. And to get any info from them is like pulling teeth. Trying to guess at what they are saying. We have been praying for him, it is the best thing we can do and the only thing. So we will see.
We do most of our travels in winter. But, the weather here has really not been as bad as most places, thank the Lord. So it is bearable.

Smeshque: Really sorry about your chickens. Hawks are predators. Did your mom get the senior flu shot? Is your DH's uncle an elder? Hope you have fun on your trip with your mom. It's surprising that you're taking a winter trip. Caregiving is not for the faint of heart. Will pray for DH's Uncle Gary and your dear mom.

James 1:27
Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world

Smeshque: Good to hear from you. I won't write much as I am done for the day, watching tv and reading a novel. It's 5 minutes to 1:00 A.M. here.

LL- Thank you for checking on me. Doing ok. We are just waiting to hear about Dh uncle. His son said the Dr. says he is getting worse, but is maintaining a 90% oxygen with the oxygen mask on. He is breathing on his own. But we will just have to wait and see what the Lord will do.
We had 2 good sermons today. One was on the Promises of God, and the other on Our purpose. Very encouraging both of them. After the evening service, DH and I had to build onto our chicken pen. It seems something has been getting our chickens. Like a once a week thing for the last month. We haven't had time to do anything about it, until this evening. Normally the chickens just roam as they please and we had to take away a little freedom from them by locking them up at night. I am pretty sure the predator is a hawk or an owl. It only takes the chickens heads. :( But I had to put my chicken Zippy in a cage by herself. Because it appears that something tried to get her, she had a big wound on her head, and we only noticed because we saw the other chickens attacking her. Chickens are sadly cannibals. So until she heals we will keep her separate. She is not too happy about it, but it is for her own good. Sorry didn't mean to go in about chickens, but my reality.
Mom was feeling bad yesterday morning, but she is back to normal today. I am so thankful, so fearful she will get the flu.
We will be taking her on a day trip this week, she is looking forward to it. Planning a big trip in Sept. for her 80th. Lord willing it will all work out.
Again thank you for your concern and prayers.
I am just waiting and trusting in the Lord to give me some understanding I am lacking regarding caregiving. But I will wait.
Hope all is well with you.

Smeshque: How is it going? Just checking in with you.

Dear Smeshque: Please know that you are doing it well as you have God in your court. You are not expected to be perfect; only HE was. If we were all perfect, there would be no need for a bible, for instance. We go to HIS WORD to learn about it as we are never done learning. There is always room for HIS knowledge.
How is your DH's Uncle Gary? The Lord knows his needs and please know that I'm praying for his welfare.
Love,
Llamalover47

One of the hardest things about caregiving is helping someone live their life and trying to have one of your own, Unless you can mesh them and make them one? I don't know, I just don't think it is possible at least for my situation. But, I am determined to figure this out. I am trying to rely only on the Lord and not think I can do this alone, because I cannot. I just want to do this well, that's all. I just want to do this well.




John 15:13
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Smeshque: Oh, I am glad that you've already arrived back home! Praises! I will continue to pray for DH's uncle. God knows his needs.💙💙💙💜💜💜💜
Love, Llamalover47

Thank you LL- I appreciate it very much. We made it back home safe and sound, thank the Lord. We will know more about DH uncle tomorrow.

Thank you for prayers .

Smeshque: Praying for winter travel mercies as well as your husband's Uncle Gary. I pray for comfort from our God who knows all and sees all.❤💙💙💙💙💙💙
Love,
Llamalover47