Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

IMHO, the old English of the bible, words like doth, thee and others (or the Latin et al) can be confusing to those who are not writers. I do write odes and poetry so it comes easier to me to understand. I do realize that some may have a difficult time with it. Thank you, Smeshque for your postings and all the rest of you, Tiger and cwillie.

James 1:5" If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."


I can see how posting scripture from the old bible may be confusing to some, so I will not do it anymore. I apply those verses such as the last OT verse I posted to secure my heart in the laws I live by under Jesus. Not to hold to the old laws, as that covenant was done away with the blood of Christ.
But you are right it can cause confusion and God is not the author of confusion so I will refrain from doing so.
And this is a good discussion that you have brought up Tiger, iron sharpening iron. And now here is my two cents.
The new covenant did begin after the death of Jesus. Absolutely. I believe on the day of Pentecost in Acts 2.
However Paul was not the first to be saved without the law and sacrifice. There were many before him such as the 3000 in Acts 2:37-40, the Samaritans in Acts 8:12-13,27-40 and Simon the Sorcerer, the Ethiopian eunuch, so you see there were others under the preaching of the apostles, taught by Jesus who were saved without law and sacrifice before Paul.
And Paul did not go to the gentiles first, he went to the Jews first, Acts 13. Peter went to the Gentiles before Paul as you can read in Acts 10 when Cornelius and his household were converted.
My point being that as said in Timothy who was mentored by Paul, "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 2 Timothy 3:16, 1 Timothy 6:3-"If any man teach otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness...;"
Jesus says if you love me keep my commandments. So understanding that Jesus was alive under the old covenant, he still taught and gave commandments that we are to obey and follow. The apostle were taught what Jesus wanted us to know, so that they could go and teach the world, Jews, Greeks, everyone. Of which Jesus commanded them after He was resurrected in, Matthew 28:18-20, "And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.
Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy
Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen."
So they had the gospel of Christ which is also what Paul preaches. But to dismiss the commands of Jesus, the teachings of Peter, James, and others to say that only Paul preached the gospel necessary for our salvation would be false. Even Paul states 1 Corinthians 11:1 
"Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ."
So therefore we are to follow Christ which is the word of God, which is truth and light, and he gave his apostles the gospel necessary for our salvation.

Just my two cents.
It is great to compare notes.

To my brethren here on this thread, I'm hoping u don't mind my two cents about "rightly dividing the Word".
It can be confusing to unbelievers when we present scripture that doesn't belong in our present day (age of Grace) dispensation.
I realize most believers think New Testamnt started with the gospels: (mt,mrk,lk,jn). However the new testament did not begin until well after the death, burial, & res of our Lord...when Paul was saved by Grace on the road to Damascus. He was the first one saved without the law & sacrifices, (he was the pattern for our salv). Paul was chosen to be the apostle to the Gentiles...(us), & only Paul's epistles have doctrine specific to the Body of Christ...(us). (P.S. the whole Word of God has value to us, it's just that OUR commandments come from Paul's epistles). That's what God laid out for us 2follow in this present-day dispensation.
No offense, Just sayin'.
For help go to: Lesfeldick.org

Hello friends, glad to see CW here:) I sent u a new PM....CW.
And we appreciate your candor, cuz we are interested in how you & others feel about God & how we present Him to others. Thank you:) tiger.

👐🤗👍

All of us come here for support.
For believers, the joy of the Lord is our strength. We encourage one another with God's word, prayer and because as believers it is balm for the weary.
God is a very present help in times of trouble for His children.
So if newcomers see there is hope beyond themselves and beyond another human, what joy.
They may get the help they truly need.
And if it is not for them, they can ignore it, it will mean nothing to them good nor bad.
That is all I will say on this matter. I do not want conflict.
Everyone is allowed to believe as they choose, that means me too.
I hope one day you also find encouragement from some of the words posted here.

🤗

I'm not anti faith, I'm not trying to shut down this thread or diss anybody here, I just wanted to put that out there. It seems to me too many people who come to the forum already feel as though they can't meet expectations and adding in religious admonishments, implied or otherwise, isn't helpful.

Cwillie- I am very sorry it irritates you. If I could revise the question I would.
We all differ in opinions and thoughts.
And the thread was not meant for those who have alternative beliefs about said question.
Those who understand the question that was originally asked, understand why it was asked.
Never meant to be irritating or offensive.
We all seek others in similar situations for love and support that is why we congregate here.
Again I am sorry it irritates you.
There are other threads that maybe I don't agree with, I just stay away. Because it is not for me. But I never tell them I don't like their thread, they have their right to talk about what they wish, and all who want to talk with them, not my business.
I love everyone here and do not want to cause conflict.
I love you Cwillie. Sorry.

And there is no scripture that says God doesn't give you more than you can bear, that only is in regards to temptations. So I too don't agree with that statement.
God is our strength so therefore we can bear more than we think we are able.

You know every time I see the question on this thread come up it irritates me. Scripture says to put God first and to love our neighbours as ourselves, there is nothing there about putting others needs ahead of our own. There is a lot of religious tradition that is accepted as biblical that really isn't, another one that drives me wild is the saying "God only gives you what you can bear".

Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.

Praying for dear NHWM.💞💞

Pray for NHWM. She needs our prayers right now.

I hope you all are doing well.

 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:4

“This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.”
Joshua 1:8

Tiger: You certainly are very welcome. The best wishes for you, my dear are wished this day.
Llama

Thank you NHWM, Smeshque, Shell38314, Llamalover47😳...
It's true, too early to be harsh on myself for not being 'useful',
& I will indeed try the volunteering soon.
I hope you're right: that I'll someday find a job I can do.
True that I need to exercise patience:)
(I've always been my own worst critic), but I treat others so much better! Hate to admit that, lol.
Glad for such kind friends here, that help from afar! (It also pleases the Lord when we edify each other). 
Eph 4:15-16. "...speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love".
Rock🎸on!

All you need to do is find someone to put you first and give up their life to do everything for you. Seriously? We are all responsible for ourselves first. To not become a burden to others or the tax payers/government is our job. I am getting fed up with old people who didn't plan for their old age. What were they thinking? I have been very careful to provide for myself and pay my own way in a nice elderly home and I can even afford AL if or when I need it. I have 2 children in their 50's now but I won't bother them with my problems. I will take care of myself or put myself in a place for more care. I have lived alone a long time. I am not into that bible stuff and I do not expect a rescue. I feel it is wrong to use other people. We make our own way in life. I have been on my own since I was a child. It is still a tradition in many countries for parents to steal the lives of their children, forcing them to take care of them for ages. And they are often not very pleasant. We owe good care to our children who cannot care for themselves. You may love and care about your parent but came to this world to live your own life. Don't confuse caring with self sacrifice. They had their chance. They made their own choices.

Tiger: Indeed it is too early. Sending condolences to you. And I'm sorry about your restaurant closure.

NHWM: Proverbs is a good book. Glad to be of help.

Tiger,
Sorry to hear about your restaurant closing. My father was a chef for 47 yrs. I myself was a server and use to love working in the restaurant/bar industry. But now a whole new generation is running them by their new rules...the restaurant is a new beast all on to itself...the lack of pride...customer service...the lack of "old school wisdom"...just the lack of wanting customers to enjoy a good meal...oh how I could go on on!

Tiger you will find something. Look, I thought I would never get back to work and like you I felt loss for years, but then God open a door and I start my new job Sept 10th. Granted it is part-time and seasonal, but it is a start and you will get there! Like Smeshque said, "give yourself time." Waiting is so hard to do in fact, I think it is one of the hardest things to do! God's is never a second early or a minute late (something like that) but He is always on Time!🌈

Smeshque,

Volunteering is a great idea. Still involved but does not have to be high pressure or a long term commitment. I want to work at our local food bank. Can’t at the moment because of mom but I would go help pack up food boxes. They always need people to lend a hand doing that.

A friend of mine helps load up their trucks but that takes a lot of strength. He is super fit and will go load up a truck. I would rather pack the boxes. You only have to do it one day a week if that’s all you have time for. If you want to you can do more but you don’t have to.

Tiger, still so soon. I know you are probably feeling lost. Give yourself time, God will show you the way.
How do you feel about volunteering?

🤗Big hug

Tiger,

Isn’t it crazy? The restaurant industry today is nuts! Oh my gosh, google John Besh. A hot shot chef in New Orleans who really screwed up.

Don’t get it at all. That attitude is rampant. Also look up one of our fancy pastry chefs at Sucre’. Upscale pastry shop here. His name is Tarik Hanna. The story was in Nola.com. He did the same thing. His wife is filling for divorce.

Besh’s wife is staying with him. Ironically she was a lawyer before marrying Besh! They have children. Feel badly for the kids.

My daughter quit her job in a restaurant while going to LSU because married managers expect the wait staff to sleep with them. It’s horrible! It’s sad because she made great tips during football season.

She ended up taking a job making far less money but she isn’t hit on.

Thanks to all, for the helpful replies. Agree that I'm searching for meaning: a way to contribute again, hence the boredom.
Very impatient with myself though, (mother only died 3mo
ago,)& I'm compelled to find another project already.
Working all my life was enjoyable, but my restaurant closed end 2017, & I'm not sure where I could work now. Most restaurants here are full of swearing & arse grabbing. Too old to put up with that now.
✌ 2 all.

Llama,

A lot of wisdom in proverbs. It’s true. We need purpose in our lives to feel fulfilled.

Having everything materially would never bring true happiness. Fulfilling a purpose, being able to follow our hearts is what matters the most. I find if my heart isn’t in something then it’s a waste of time.

Smeshque,

We continue to search throughout our lives, in one way or another until we find peace.

Smeshque: Thank you. I tried to select a post about idle time,
Something - like you - I never have any of. By choice, also like yourself. 💞💞💞💞 Oh, that is lovely scripture.

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
Psalms 42:5

Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;

Romans 12:12

Just sharing something I came across.

Boredom, then, could be thought of as a warning signal, your mind’s alert system telling you that you’re not finding purpose in what you’re currently doing, and so you’d better switch things up. It’s like pain: No one likes to feel pain, and no one enjoys feeling bored. But both feelings can be useful. Pain pushes you away from harm. Boredom pushes you toward meaning. Every emotion serves a purpose, and this may be boredom’s.

I have never been one to get bored I always find something to do. So I am not sure how to be helpful in this. LLama your verse was a good one. There is always something one can do. And the most important thing is spending time in the word and in prayer.
So it is really what has our minds been trained to think and feel. As opposed to what our hearts and souls hunger and thirst for.
I think sometimes our problem lies in the fact that we have become a people that need to be entertained 24/7. And when we are not entertained therein comes boredom.
I believe if we feed our spirits we would never be bored.

I too suffer from social anxiety. I have always been quite the introvert. But in learning scripture I find it is imperative for me to be hospitable and to show the love of God to others. I cannot do that being alone and keeping to myself. So when I am to be around a lot of people, I pray and I just do it. God gets me through it knowing I am trying to do HIS will. I force myself not to keep away out of fear. I think about what if Jesus did not go to the cross because he was afraid, then we would all be lost. So I can be brave for him, not for me, but for him.
As the apostle Paul said if I do this thing willingly, I have a reward.
There is no fear in God. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. We are in control of our choices and so choosing to go against the fear we feel, putting our trust in God and knowing we can do this through Jesus, well we can do anything.

I am praying for all of you who are having such a difficult time right now. We all have those ruts. Choose not to stay in them. Choose Jesus over what feelings hinder you. He is our strength, our hope, our courage, our overcomer. There is great peace in HIM!

“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” 
Philippians 4:7

May God help us all.

Tiger and NeedHelpWothMom: This scripture verse may be one to lean on, but I am certainly not an expert on scripture. I think boredom will come to us all from time to time. I generally am not a person who is easily bored, though I don't know what cometh with old age. Prayers for you both. NHWM - I do hope you start to feel better.

Proverbs 31:27 - She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

Tiger,

Since Sunday I feel quite yucky! I never get sick but maybe I am run down. Very stuffy head, aches. Just weak too.

How are you doing? I think I will try to soak in tub after drinking some tea. Maybe that will help. Mom will have to just stay put in her recliner. I keep telling her that I am not a machine that runs on batteries.

Today I feel so bad that I can’t think about boredom but it’s true I do get bored because if I start on something I guarantee she will interrupt. So why start? I have two pieces of jewelry that I started over a week ago and can’t get back to it. I have to finish soon. They are upcoming birthday gifts that my daughter’s friend requested from me.

NHWM, I just saw ur question about what 2 do about boredom, & I totally get it. (Me2).
It feels physically painful to be without socializing, & makes me nuts as well.
We are full of energy & a desire to connect, that's our joy. I understand the pain & discouragement u feel.
Wish I had the perfect answer for u friend...
But my only relief has been briefly talking with neighbors & even strangers. My walking has helped me share this with God, & I have used tiny dose of xanex when it's bad.
God won't hate u for that, just don't depend on the meds too much.
For me, I have social anxiety bad, & going to a new senior center or church paralizes me.
It's pathetic, but true.
Let me know how you're doing please, 💟tiger.