Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

She was his orphaned cousin Esther 2:7.

"7 Mordecai had a cousin named Hadassah, whom he had brought up because she had neither father nor mother. This young woman, who was also known as Esther, had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Mordecai had taken her as his own daughter when her father and mother died." NIV

He was her uncle. Some versions refer to him as her cousin.

Queen Ester nee Hadassah

Bible Trivia.

How was Mordecai related to Hadassah?

Love St. Frances too. Very humble man.

Im not a bible reader but I love St. Francis. His famous prayer is my go to in times of trouble. It starts-God, make me an instrument of your healing

Smeshque: How ever so lovely that Red sings Acapella!

LL- yes it is so wonderful, and today was especially wonderful when he showed up at worship and sang with such energy, it was quite wonderful for all of us, the morning lesson was on steadfastness and he surely represented that this morning.


“O LORD, how manifold are thy works! in wisdom hast thou made them all: the earth is full of thy riches.”
Psalms 104:24

Smeshque: Praise the LORD that brother, "Red" was aided by medical science in the form of a heart pacemaker! That is so wonderful that brother Red sings Acapella! That is a wondrous talent from the LORD!

Amen, amen, and amen to all you are pondering ❤️. I am getting ready for church but I will thank God for you and your family and will respond later whenever I can.

Caregiversister- Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. It is true that everyone needs God. I hate to think of a time when I was trying to live without HIM. I am so very thankful HE showed me the Light and way in Jesus.
I cannot now imagine life without our Lord and Saviour. Oh it is such a scary and lonely thought.

One of the struggles in caregiving I have recognized, is that as we do so much for our loved ones, we can begin to think of ourselves as not that important. I am guilty of this. Of feeling like I am only here to do for others, and what about me.
Well the way I see it through scripture, is that's exactly right. We were placed here to do for ourselves, but we were put here for Jesus. To bring glory to HIM, in all things we do. Not to bring glory for ourselves, not to boost our self esteems or build up our egos and self centeredness.
But for HIM.
As I began to look at things a little different, I can see clearly. The love and care we bestow upon another is love and care that we bestow on Jesus. What we do to others, we do to HIM.
It is hard in this flesh to feel full and content with that thought. To find our worth in HIM and not in what we accomplish or think we should accomplish.
God's children have been given a title of Ambassadors. We are Ambassadors for Christ.
In this country and Ambassador is the highest ranking representative to other nations.
We are given the highest ranking to be a representative for Christ. Isn't that the greatest accomplishment we can do in this life? To truly represent HIM.
I hold on to this when I feel low, as we sometimes do in this flesh. Knowing this is a great thing, but doing this is the greatest thing. I fall short everyday, but God picks me up and each morning I begin anew, trying to represent better than the day before.
I begin with how I love my family, and controlling my tongue. Because in the world of caregiving our tongues can cause the most pain. When they see our patience is worn it can take away some of their dignity. And I definitely do not want to hurt my loved ones. They already have enough struggles as we all do.
To me being a true Ambassador means leaving the comfort of my own thoughts and wishes and putting on that armour and the will of God. Asking for guidance to do HIS will and in all things to give glory to Jesus.
God alone can give us the strength necessary to fulfill this and all things in our lives. I would be lost without HIM.

These are just things I have been studying and thinking about.



2 Corinthians 5:20
Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God.

Smesque, May God bless all that you do for your family. And I pray that Red will continue to be a blessing wherever he goes, too! Yes, we live in our temporary “tents” wherever we are in this world, being citizens of another “country”.
I have been reading your posts for a few months now and rejoice in your faith. Every one of us in this group needs God’s help in all we do but especially in our caregiving, which can bring us beyond our abilities so easily.

God’s grace, love and power be poured out to you and your loved ones! ❤️

Thank you for your prayers. I just wanted to stop by real quick and tell the good news. This morning they put a pacemaker in Red. He was resting today and his heart rate back to par.
The Dr. said Red sand to him through the whole surgery, it makes me smile. He sings beautifully. At the assisted living place when they have to go in the safe room, he sings hymns to the residents. he is a lovely man.
The Lord isn't ready for Brother Red, he has more work to do. He gets to go to his place of stay as he calls it, tomorrow. He says place of stay because he says as we all should think this world is not our home.
Thank you all again.
Much love and prayers back at you.


“But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:”
Matthew 6:20

Smesque, praying that things are going well for you and your family.

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and HE knoweth them that trust in HIM.
Nahum 1:7

Hmmm, the scriptures say a lot of things including,"Let the dead bury the dead". Remember without you need to treat and take care of yourself, otherwise you will not be a good caregiver.

Prayers for this man, brother "Red."

Prayers for all of you. May God's will be done.

Hugs and love!

Asking for prayers, please.
Our Dear Brother "Red", has been admitted to ICU this night, low heart rate/dizziness and weakness, vomiting, he is 90. please pray for him. I know he is ready to go home, but if it is not his time, pray for healing.
Thank you, we love him so much he is such a special man.

Well, I haven't written in a while just been feeling blah! But today was a better day, I felt good and was able, thank the Lord to maintain self control for the most part.
AB is having some troubles with his right shoulder, trying to get an appointment at the VA, has shown itself to be quite a challenge. But he seems to be in a lot of pain, or fixate on it. I have noticed that fixation seems to be going around with Ab and Mom. Getting fixated on something and just their focus is totally all about that thing until something is done about it or whatever the case may be. Mom was fixated on a peanut butter pie recipe. So today was mostly about PB Pie recipes and AB's shoulder.
DH and I got away this morning for a couple of hours, taking care of church business, and Mom and AB had breakfast together. It was a short respite but much needed. When we arrived at the church building there sat a man on the bench eating. I asked him if he was travelling through, he said he was a travelling preacher and had stopped and slept in the parking lot last night, in his car. So I talked with him about his belief, he is still learning and I am praying for him some wisdom, because he will be one who speaks truth. So anyway we gave him our number and told him if he needed anything give us a call. We would have invited him over to eat and visit more, but we live 45 miles from the building and he was going the other way. Was such an odd and neat encounter. We supplied him with things we could and he seemed just like a content fellow. Was refreshing, and I hope we get to see him again.
I have began a journey in herbalism and today I made a few infusions and tinctures which will not be ready for 6 weeks. I don't know where the Lord will take me in that area, but I am enjoying as I always have the study of God's medicine he has made for us.
I have made a couple of pain relieving salves and one moisturizing one(just for fun). But anyway I used the mild pain reliever on my back yesterday and it felt pretty good. I think it has potential.
Much love and prayers to you all.


Wherefore Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered without the gate.
Let us go forth therefore unto him without the camp, bearing his reproach.
Hebrews 13:12-13

And said unto them, whomsoever shall receive this child in my name receiveth me: and whomsoever receives me receiveth him who sent me: for he that is least among you all, the same shall be great.

Luke 9:48

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.



Proverbs 16:24

Burn The Ships

How did we get here?
All castaway on a lonely shore
I can see in your eyes, dear
It's hard to take for a moment more
We've got to
Burn the ships, cut the ties, send a flare into the night
Say a prayer, turn the tide, dry your tears and wave goodbye

Step into a new day
We can rise up from the dust and walk away
We can dance upon the heartache, yeah
So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships
And don't you look back

Don't let it arrest you
This fear is fear of fallin' again
And if you need a refuge
I will be right here until the end
Oh, it's time to
Burn the ships, cut the ties, send a flare into the night
Say a prayer, turn the tide, dry your tears and wave goodbye

Step into a new day
We can rise up from the dust and walk away

Luke 9:62 
And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

Thanks Smeshque needed to hear those words tonight:/

“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”
1 Corinthians 2:9

I, too, have found that even though I'm older than my DH, that I have to often fill in the blanks for him. He'll think that he's been told something, but he hasn't listened to it. And then the spilling of food stuffs! Lol. We are help mates - as God intended.

Remember that Jesus let Mary wash His feet. You have to fill yourself up with blessings, maybe small ones. Yes, get yourself a lovely specialty coffee once in a while. Sit and sip and enjoy some solitude. Yes, take some time in the morning to put on lotion- anoint yourself.
You are a daughter of the King! You have these hard trials now, but look how you have opened your heart here and shown all of us that yes, these trials hurt our hearts. Thank you for that
But remember, it is a good thing to take care of all of God's children, and that includes you. When you get time to yourself, don't feel guilty, embrace it and enjoy the gift of that time. Forgive yourself for being human and losing patience.
I will lift you up in prayer all week!

Smeshque, I find my hubs expects me to fill in the blanks for him a lot too and he is only 54. I'm 4 years older than him. It worries me to be honest. He was a heavy pot user when he was a teenager and research shows that can mess with an undeveloped brain. I hope I am wrong about this.

But I'll leave this with God too.

I thank you all for your kind words.

I wish I would have added that the Lord changed my Dad, and he became such a loving and tenderhearted man.
He told my Mom, the first 50 years of our marriage was all about me, now the next 50 will be all about you.
And although he didn't get to make it the next 50, only to the 61st years, he did make it all about her and spoiled her the best he could. I was so happy and blessed to witness that. So I just carry on and keep her spoiled as much as I can. :)

Yesterday was a very rough day. I am always telling people that God works everything out for our good and I believe it and He is faithful so it is very much true, as I have personally witness.
But yesterday I just felt like I was in a fog and in a crying mood? I had to keep telling myself that, He is working it out, He is working it out. The Lord brought me through the day, thankfully, but it was super rough.
Mom had a Dr. appointment yesterday and got a clean bill of health. So thank the Lord for that. However I do not rely on a Dr. to tell me her well being, I trust the Lord, as HE has taken care of her for 80 years now.
The Dr. told her she'd probably live another 25 years, because for 80 years old she is in very good shape physically. She said to him, well aren't you? He said no, I got about 10 more years and I am ready to clock out. She said well I guess i better look for another Dr. I thought it was pretty humorous.

AB is having a lot of issues post stroke.
I have been working with him to try and build his mood up. He has good days and bad days.
And his bad days are a lot of forgetfulness, as well as Mom on a bad day, well and DH for that matter.
Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind to sit and listen to the 3 of them talk. So much forgetting and miscommunication of an event or occurrence. To me if the information they share is close enough I will keep quiet as I have learned it makes them feel bad to point it out, so I stopped.
But all 3 of them always look to me to fill in the blanks, and to state the facts. I thought thank the Lord he helps me remember all the important things regarding the 3 of them.
DH has always been just a forgetful person so I was use to filling in the blanks, but remembering for 3 others besides myself, I have begun to take lots of notes. ;)
I love them all and I am blessed to have each of them in my life, and God is good everyday, and everyday God is good.
Thanks for "listening"


“The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.”
Psalms 19:1

Dear Smeshque: Thank you for that lovely discourse on your mom's life and caring for so many of you all and doing it with nary a regret. Beautiful story, really.

Smeshque,

Your brother was a miracle. Your mom was an angel in his life. She truly was.

How beautiful for you to recognize how special your mom is. She passed quite a bit of those qualities onto you. It shows. God bless your mom and you 💗

Your mom showed love to your brother with actions. The gift of ‘self’ is the greatest gift. Your mom didn’t hold back. She loved with all that she had.

I can understand her struggle. We are not supposed to bury our children.

But I know that Gods timing is perfect and His plan is perfect, so I will not ask why, I will say, even so, I know in whom I believe!

You are doing a great job walking in your moms footsteps. What a blessing to have a role model in your momma.

And they shall comfort you when ye see their ways and their doings: and ye shall know that I have not done without cause all that I have done in it, saith the Lord God. Ezekiel 14:23