Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

Smeshque: Such a lovely poem really!

I have this Hope

As I walk this great unknown
Questions come and questions go
Was there purpose for the pain?
Did I cry these tears in vain?

I don't want to live in fear
I want to trust that You are near
Trust Your grace can be seen
In both triumph and tragedy

I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You're with me and You won't let go

But sometimes my faith feels thin
Like the night will never end
Will You catch every tear
Or will You just leave me here?

But I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You're with me and You won't let go

Yes, I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You're with me and You won't let go

So, whatever happens I will not be afraid
Cause You are closer than this breath that I take
You calm the storm when I hear You call my name
I still believe that one day I'll see Your face

I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You're with me

I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You're with me and You won't let go

In the flood or the fire
You're with me and You won't let go

In the flood or the fire
You're with me and You won't let go


tenth avenue north

Smeshque: Oh, that is so unfortunate for her. I was lucky in the fact that DH was still here when I returned from Massachusetts, where I was caring for mother. He could have "thrown in the towel" so to speak, but he didn't. Prayers for your acquaintance. ♡♡

NHWM- I do not personally know of anyone who has had such an experience. My personal opinion and this is my opinion based on what I know of scripture. I do not think a person can die and come back. I think a person can be considered dead, and in process of being resuscitated, that their minds can think and see all kinds of things. But I would never call someone a liar who claims such as I have never died and came back to life. Because whatever their experience was is real to them, true or not.
So I don't know, I just don't think it works that way, where we can die get a glimpse of the afterlife and come back. I believe once you are truly dead, you are dead. For no man has seen God and lived.
So interesting subject, and again I just do not believe this is possible. Just my opinion.


LL- she had to make the choice to go help her Mom, only her husband and her split up because of that. It is an unfortunate thing for her. She is an only child and chose to go help her Mom. So that is what I meant that she lost her husband and Mom.

Dearest Smeshque: For your friend. Her husband also passed away?------------------
Psalm 73:26



26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my portion forever."

Smeshque,

Some people that have near death experiences say that they feel more alive than ever before. What’s your take on it?

Some don’t even believe In near death experiences. There are so many different accounts or experiences that are reported. Some see relatives, some see angels, some see Jesus. Have you known anyone who had an NDE?

I know one person. A good friend who is credible. He died in a severe automobile accident. A military man brought him back.

He was clinically dead for a brief period. Military personnel are so well trained in medical techniques. He feels it was a miracle that this man saved his life.

Anyway, he saw his grandma and said he wanted to stay with her. She told him he would be back but it wasn’t his time to stay.

That is so common. No one wants to come back from heaven. All testimonies of NDE experiences have expressed that same emotion of feeling love and peace.

Have you read the book by Howard Storm on his NDE? ‘My Descent into Death.’ It’s incredible! A quick read but very powerful book. I loved it.

I read the original years ago. I see where he has a second edition now.

I have an acquaintance whose Mom passed away yesterday morning. I feel so sad for her. She had left her husband to go and take care of her Mom. Now her Mom is gone and so this year she has lost her husband and her Mom. I am doing my best to be encouraging and supportive, but my heart breaks for her. She is feeling so lost. The best I can do is pray for her. But these are the hardest things in life. :(




Shew me a token for good; that they which hate me may see it, and be ashamed: because thou, LORD, hast holpen me, and comforted me.

Psalms 86:17

God bless you. I can only share according to my personal experience. I believe taking care of yourself makes it possible for you to care for others and is part of loving that person. If you are physically, mentally, emotionally, financially exhausted you can not do your best. A favorite Biblical story of mine is of Solomon and David. I don't know chapter and verse. As he grew older, King David could not get warm. King Solomon found a young nurse to work as a bed wamer--but not lover. King Solomon did not start a fire, and jump in bed with his father, as in doing so he would have neglected His wives and children. If you reach out to adult day care or some of the numerous home care programs, if you seek respite care, you are still caring for your parent, and in many ways with respect and love. For those who adhere to the New Testament, parents are urged not to make their children bitter or angry. There is absolutely no need to feel shame in asking for assistance. Even though my Mom has in-home care, I still will assist her dressing, bathing, ect, on days when she doesn't have home care, however, I feel a great deal more tenderness, than I did when I, alone was providing services. And I still pray each day to make me a better daughter for the Individual who is My Mother. Even though many older people have similar behaviors, each individual and situation is different. There are two sides to a relationship whether it is parent and child, or between spouse, the person needing care should want the best for you. I hope this was of some help. Blessings.

Smeshque - Very great analogy.-------------------------

10 Warnings about the Power Words
We need God’s help to have a pure (and purer) heart. In the meantime, these proverbs can shine a light on where we are in our walk.
1. Anyone who answers without listening is foolish and confused. (Prov. 18:13)
2. Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. (Prov. 21:23)
3. A brother who has been insulted is harder to win back than a walled city, and arguments separate people like the barred gates of a palace. (Prov. 18:19)
4. People will be rewarded for what they say; they will be rewarded for how they speak. (Prov. 18:20)
5. There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Prov. 12:18)
6. What you say can mean life or death. Those who speak with care will be rewarded. (Prov. 18:21)
7. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov. 15:1)
8. Without wood, a fire will go out, and without gossip, quarreling will stop. (Prov 26:20)
9. The words of a good person are like pure silver, but an evil person’s thoughts are worth very little. (Prov. 10:20)
10. The poor beg for mercy, but the rich give rude answers. (Prov. 18:23)

The Group of Frogs 

As a group of frogs was traveling through the woods, two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs crowded around the pit and saw how deep it was, they told the two frogs that there was no hope left for them.However, the two frogs decided to ignore what the others were saying and they proceeded to try and jump out of the pit. Despite their efforts, the group of frogs at the top of the pit were still saying that they should just give up. That they would never make it out.Eventually, one of the frogs took heed to what the others were saying and he gave up, falling down to his death. The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die.He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, “Did you not hear us?”
The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

Moral of the story:
People’s words can have a big effect on other’s lives. Think about what you say before it comes out of your mouth. It might just be the difference between life and death.

Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.
Jeremiah 17:7

1 Timothy 6:15-16
"Which He will bring about at the proper time--He who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone possesses immortality and dwells in unapproachable light, whom no man has seen or can see To Him be honor and eternal dominion!" Amen.

And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up into glory.
1 Timothy 3:16

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” —Psalm 51:10–12

"A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.” —Proverbs 15:30

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1

Will pray for them.

This week has been super hard on me. DH and I had a job out of town to do. It took all week and we just completed today. With our responsibilities here at home we cannot work all day or stay out of town overnight, so we drive far and can only work about 4 hours and have to drive back. Rough but thank the Lord HE helped us get it done.
Mom stayed home, I am ok with that since AB is next door and He checks on her throughout the time we are gone. They are great company for each other as well, thank the Lord.
Mom has been doing great, thank the Lord. Since I began her on moringa, her BP is good and she seems to have more better days and not alternate between good and bad. And it seems her mind has become sharper. I also have introduced sage tea. This has a great affect on memory issues and it has also been used in Alzheimer patients with positive outcomes.
So I am getting us all use to drinking it. Infused Sage with honey, lemon.
AB has also been doing better with memory issues. He was having such a hard time after his stroke, but he seems almost back to normal. I have been giving him wild lettuce for his arthritis pains and it seems to be helping his hands and helping him rest better.
Well everyone seems to be doing better, thank the Lord. But, I have been having a dreadful toothache keeping me up at night. So DH made me an appointment Monday for the dentist and has insisted i go take care of the issue.
He says if your in pain and not sleeping how can you help everyone else. I thought wow that is so nice that he connects those dots and took matters in his own hands.
So I guess I will go.
I hope everyone on AC is doing well. I have missed a lot this week.
Everyday that I wake up and I give God my time first, it turns out to be a much better less stressful day. HE gives me more patience and gentleness. But if I begin moving about and do not give HIM my first fruits, I can sure feel it by the end of day, how I neglected the most important one.
I am in training process to get myself where I never move about before I spend time with HIM. I pray you all do as well. Not because we have to. But because we are so aware of the love and grace that is bestowed upon HIS children that we want to please our Father and be as night unto HIM as possible.

“I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.”
Psalms 16:8

Pray for New Orleans please. Demolition of the Hard Rock Hotel that partially collapsed and deaths and injuries occurred several days ago.

Authorities have begged people not to try and watch the demolition because it isn’t safe to be close to explosions. I hope people listen. They may even have to evacuate hotel rooms that are nearby.

It’s a mystery why this construction failed. Some say the concrete. Some say the engineers. Some say the construction company. It could be anything.

Thanks for prayers to keep people safe during the demolition.

“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”
John 13:35

Obedience is better than sacrifice

Answer to trivia question

Prayers for all and believing with you.

Hugs and strength to you for this journey my sister in Christ.

Smeshque: Prayers sent posthaste to you dear lady. I hope everything will work out in God's good timing.

Good word. Add to that Hebrews 5:14. Part of the problem is people still feeding on spiritual milk instead of spiritual meat by which our minds are transformed and out lives not conformed to the world as Romans 12 speaks of.

John MacArthur writes: "Why is biblical discernment important?"
In its simplest definition, discernment is nothing more than the ability to decide between truth and error, right and wrong. Discernment is the process of making careful distinctions in our thinking about truth. In other words, the ability to think with discernment is synonymous with an ability to think biblically.
First Thessalonians 5:21-22 teaches that it is the responsibility of every Christian to be discerning: "But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil." The apostle John issues a similar warning when he says, "Do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world" (1 John 4:1). According to the New Testament, discernment is not optional for the believer-it is required.
The key to living an uncompromising life lies in one's ability to exercise discernment in every area of his or her life. For example, failure to distinguish between truth and error leaves the Christian subject to all manner of false teaching. False teaching then leads to an unbiblical mindset, which results in unfruitful and disobedient living-a certain recipe for compromise.
Unfortunately, discernment is an area where most Christians stumble. They exhibit little ability to measure the things they are taught against the infallible standard of God's Word, and they unwittingly engage in all kinds of unbiblical decision-making and behavior. In short, they are not armed to take a decidedly biblical stand against the onslaught of unbiblical thinking and attitudes that face them throughout their day.
Discernment intersects the Christian life at every point. And God's Word provides us with the needed discernment about every issue of life. According to Peter, God "has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence" (2 Peter 1:3). You see, it is through the "true knowledge of Him," that we have been given everything we need to live a Christian life in this fallen world. And how else do we have true knowledge of God but through the pages of His Word, the Bible? In fact, Peter goes on to say that such knowledge comes through God's granting "to us His precious and magnificent promises" (2 Peter 1:4).
Discernment -- the ability to think biblically about all areas of life -- is indispensable to an uncompromising life. It is incumbent upon the Christian to seize upon the discernment that God has provided for in His precious truth! Without it, Christians are at risk of being "tossed here and there by waves, and carried about by every wind of doctrine" (Ephesians 4:14).

Praying for you, Smeshque 💗

I ask for prayers for my family and I as a complicated family matter has risen and we want to make the right choices and wait on God to lead us. We need prayers. Prayers for wisdom and the right words, and the right actions. Thank you.

“But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”
Hebrews 11:6

You do your best in the power of the Holy Spirit and He will sustain you as well. Last night I was going over the day in my mind and I realized the tasks that were required of me to care for my husband, while they sometimes feel overwhelming, God has given me strength to do.
You are not being asked to put your self aside, but realize where your strength comes from.
We all struggle with am I enough and God assures us we are.
If you literally are becoming physically ill, then you need to care for yourself before you can be any good for your loved one

Smeshque: Thank you for that. I needed a reminder.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Ephesians 4:28