Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

luckylu: My mother was a go getter because she had to be. In 1967 when my father died suddenly, she was employed at the high school cafeteria for 88 cents per hour! She knew she had to get better employment and she did as she had 2 young people to support - me (20) and my brother (16). Wow, I am so sorry you fell on those cords and cat lids! I have known people who fell and died as a result. A man I worked with was just 50 - fell and hit his head. Wow - you hit a chopping block? Scary

Your'e MaMa was a real go go-getter it sounds like Llama,still working at 79!
That's great and great she wanted to and could then.It's a shame she fell and broke her femur.
Cords are real fall hazards I know,because one day,I went flying over Mom's oxygen and the fan cord right in front of the Hospice bather.
One other time I fell over a cat lid on the floor too and hit the chopblock in the kitchen when my brother pretended to shove a dead mouse at me and I'm still paying for that one with my right shoulder.
Yeah,falls are evil so is my brother sometimes~

luckylu: Yes, you're right about cords, too. Thank you for your kind words. There was more to the story. My mother was still employed at the age of 79! My father passed at age 50. Her femur break was in July and she was due to turn 80 that Halloween. Her employer, a dentist, had always told her - "You'll always have employment here as long as you can get over the threshold." Her response - "I broke my leg; I must retire."

Your'e right Llama,Those scatter rugs are so dangerous and I'm so sorry your'e Mother was hurt so badly because of one. Really,I think they're dangerous for everyone no matter what age they are and cords are dangerous too.

luckylu: Wow, so sorry that your mother took that fall, injuring her skull. One time my mother was attending a wedding out of state. My cousin was rather poor and her son was to be married. Cousin lived in a trailer. My mother was due to attend the wedding and was staying with her sister and friend in cousin's trailer. My mother got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and fell, badly breaking her femur. She actually tore the hinges off the bathroom door; it was rather poorly built. So - she fell on a scatter rug! ALL SCATTER RUGS ARE A HUGE FALL RISKS TO ELDERS. They should be removed. I had to take a quick flight to Manchester, New Hampshire. Her sister just exited the trailer and never COMFORTED MY DEAR MOTHER AT ALL. That's who she was - couldn't handle much.

NHWM: I have inherited dry Macular Degeneration from my mother. I was almost certain to get it as it's easily passed on. Thanks to my due diligence, the condition has remained static.

Thanks NHWM~I was very blessed to have her as long as I did.

I would be terrified too, luckylu. I’m so sorry that you and your mother endured such heartache.

Mom tripped over her cane and hit the wall in front of her and did a "Hangman's" break when she broke the tip of her skull in C-1. It was a miracle she lived.From there on though,it was just one thing after another with her from blood clots and a mesh window installed around her heart,gallbladder,hip replacement to,radiations for cancer on her nose,etc.,etc,etc.,and I was so scared of losing her everyday.

Luckylu,

How awful! I can’t imagine breaking my neck.

Llama, hope your eyes are okay.

Falls are the worst!
They do so much damage all over so quick.
Mother fell,broke her neck and our lives changed forever in the blink of an eye and just a half of an inch and I'd have lost Mother 9 and a half years before I did.
So No Falls Everyone!

NeedHelpWithMom: So sorry to hear that you fell. Hope that you don't fall again. Praise God I've never fallen and I just turned 73! Where did the time go? Tonight I am typing with dialated eyes, having seen my retinologist.

Llama,

I will join you in prayers for him. So scary to fall. I fell awhile back when I went to vote for our governor. I was walking on the sidewalk and stepped on something that rolled under my foot and it threw me off balance and down I went. Fortunately, I didn’t break anything. I just scraped my hand and knee. I still voted!

A very sweet couple stopped to see if I needed help. The woman told me that she had slipped and fell in wet mud hiking the week before. Accidents happen! She wasn’t old!

smeshque: Praying for that man and his daughter.

Hello my Dear Friends,
I hope everyone is doing alright. Mom and Ab are doing fine. Ab has another Dr. appointment tomorrow, still trying to get this shoulder pain figured out. Have gotten several different diagnosis and no remedy. So we shall see if this one tomorrow is productive.
Mom has been doing well. No issues with me working, and she keeps busy. She is an amazing woman.
I am liking my job. Getting use to not being here and working with DH and being around Mom all day, has been an adjustment that I haven't gotten use to.
But I am sure a new routine will work itself out, Lord willing.
One of my church members that I have written about before, the one who lost his wife and is in his 90's. He has been having falls a lot lately. At least one a week and as per the policy of the Assisted Living he stays at he has to go to the hospital. Well he fell again this morning and had to go to the hospital. Then his daughter fell at the hospital tripping on the carpet that was rolled up or something. But this man in spite of his pain and leg swollen like 3 times as much as the other, made it to worship. He is such an encouragement and inspiration. I mean there are some that would not go to services if they sneezed that morning. But he is faithful. I hope if Lord willing I get to be his age, i will be as determined and faithful.
Well I wish you all a goodnight.
Much love and prayers


And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.
Matthew 10:22

“Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.”
2 Timothy 2:19

Yoda,
Your post has helped me.

As I continue to deal with pain in my life, here are some thoughts that I believe the Holy Spirit brought together tonight and this may be helpful to someone else.

Liberating thoughts for the day. Basically, everyone carries some degree of pain deep in their heart. We often never know the depth of pain someone may have in their hearts. We need to be gentle for we never know how much pain someone may carry.

What shall we do with our pain for it does not automatically heal?

Focus on letting it go, one part of it at a time. What? Letting it go? What does this mean?

First of all, it does not mean living as though what caused the pain did not happened. To do so is suppression and will backfire emotionally, physically or both.

Second, seek God’s help to live like the pain and its memory does not have to impact your life now.

Third, letting it go means no longer feeding it by rehearsing it in your mind over and over again. Such a transformed mind often takes hard work in therapy.

Fourth, as found in a poem, “Yet holding on to it and nursing it digs a dark and dreary day. People, we do this as if it will somehow accomplish something. But in all honesty, that choice accomplishes nothing.”

Fifth, as also found in that poem, “We cannot choose to be or not to be hurt by the barnacle like tragedies and people in life.
However, we can choose not to let them make us like a barnacle in another’s life.

NHWM- I only now saw your kind post. I want to tell you thank you so much, it is a great encouragement to me.
You brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart.
I am humbled by your words.
It has been a blessing for me to see your growth.
All glory to God through Jesus Christ.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:7

Shell: Thank you so much! I appreciate your comforting words. My friend had a total of 1,679 days that involved around her dear daughter.

“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”
Hebrews 13:5

Llama
That is heartbreaking. I will pray for your friend!🙏

Need: Thank you so much. It's very sad.

Llama, so sad. Will pray.

Smeshque,

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. I have grown in my spiritual journey because of you. In the face of disappointments and challenges you still show appreciation for God’s love. It takes a humble person to show such grace.

I admire your faith. It is so easy for our faith to waiver when things go wrong. I have been thinking about how you have handled the disappointment with your cousin.

Your example has helped me to become stronger in my faith but also learn to accept what can’t be changed without bitterness.

I am not perfect. I struggle with certain situations but I want to continue to grow. I find the more that I let go of and place in God’s hands, the more peace I attain. It is liberating.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”
Colossians 3:16

Shell: Praise HIM!

To all the rest of you dear people - My friend's 4 year old disabled child passed away on my birthday, which was January 13. Because of that I feel a strong connection to her. My friend has kept a daily update for 4 years and has rarely gotten more than 3 hours of sleep per night. On this coming Monday, my little friend will have her funeral called The Celebration of Life. Please pray for the family. Thank you in advance.

smeshque: I am so sorry for the friend dad's on Hospice. Will pray for them. That is difficult as you know - I have just lost a little girl who was on Hospice, who was the daughter of my friend.

Shell- Leaps of joy. :)
I hope you are doing well.