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Is anyone else having a challenge of doing things scriptural, verses what the secular world says. As in scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first. I know what is right, just wondering if others may struggle with this. And how do we mourn the loss of ourselves without sinking into depression? How do we have joy in the midst of our trials and tribulations? It seems that as time passes my patience doesn't hurt as much, (must be experience), but still everyday I start wearing down where my patience begins to hurt a little and I am struggling not to let it be seen. I spend a lot of time in prayer and in the word, that is the only way I have the strength to do this, putting myself aside. But as a faulty human being, I am still in a struggle and seek like minded individuals who understand. May God bless all those who are loving their loved ones to the best of their ability.

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Isaiah 40:30-31


" 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
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The number of comments is outstanding. And all the Bible verses are very helpful. Yes, the job is tough. Having patience is hard sometimes, ....lots of times. Remember this is" Just a season of your life" not forever. That helps me put it in perspective. And I pray every day. And my pastor once told me to think of my loved one as if they "were Jesus". How joyful would u be to care for Jesus! I would feel it was an honor.
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My DH read me this story and I thought it was so neat. I just wanted to share it.

A few years ago, I moved to a window office at work and sent an email around letting everyone know I had relocated. In the email, I jokingly invited everyone to come by for a “tour” of the new space and apologized that I didn’t have any hors d’oeuvres for my guests.
Well, I didn’t have hors d’oeuvres yet.
I was in a meeting that morning and when I got back to my office, there was a box of Dunkin’ Donuts on my desk. There was a note on it that was written in all caps and said, “Happy new office!” The person didn’t sign it or leave clues about who they were. I was so grateful for that.I didn’t feel like I owed anyone or that someone was trying to get something from me. In fact, I found myself attributing all the goodwill to everyone in the office. It was such a contrast to what I did on the beach a couple of weeks before that.
The tide was steadily coming in, and on the shore, there were two nice beach chairs that were about to be taken out by the waves. The owners were nowhere to be seen, so I moved the chairs again and again as the tide rose. When the couple who owned the chairs finally showed up, I couldn’t help myself. I went over, pointed to the crashing waves, and said, “A couple of hours ago, your chairs were out there.”
Oh, thanks so much for pulling them in,” said the guy. “We just realized they were out here and figured they had probably gotten washed away.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, as I walked away. Then these words came to my mind: “You have your reward.”
Jesus said, “When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do – blowing trumpets in the ... streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get” (Matthew 6:2).
Beware of anyone who lets you know what they did for you, and beware of any desire in you to let others know what you’ve done for them. People who “blow trumpets” to announce their good deeds are looking for a reward and they resent those who don’t celebrate their faux generosity.
So, for example, when I went over to the couple on the beach, I was looking for affirmation. If the guy would’ve shrugged his shoulders after I announced my magnanimous deed of chair moving, it would’ve bothered me. It wasn’t enough to let the man wonder who it was — or worse — not even realize it had been done.
When someone gives anonymously, there’s total freedom. Nobody owes anybody else; nobody’s trying to manipulate; nobody has an agenda. They’re just giving for the sake of communicating an invaluable message: “You’re loved. Somebody cares about you. You’re important to someone and it has nothing to do with what you can give in return.”
When we experience the pleasure of giving anonymously, we do more than show kindness: We leave the recipient with the holy mystery of who cares for them so much. And in doing so, we increase the likelihood that they will direct their gratitude towards God, who deserves the credit anyway.

Joshua Rogers
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I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13. I have that verse hanging on my fridge
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Proverbs 31:30

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
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Romans 5:1-5

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b]boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
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Gershun & smeshque: Thank you for that good analogy.
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Salutem: Yes, sorry for any misunderstanding. Love God first, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF and then you're able to take care of others.
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Wow. 711 comments! I think the other answers have covered it. I'm not 'scriptural' but you know when you get on the plane, and they say make sure you have your oxygen on before you help anyone else? Same thing goes with caregiving. A burned out caregiver is not good for themselves OR their LO.
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Ephesians 4: 2-6
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I think it all boils down to we are one spirit under God and if part of that one spirit does not love itself then it drags the whole spirit down. Remember we are a mirror to others. I don't know my scripture like some of you all do but I know enough of it to know that.

Plus, discussing scripture is great. We should do more of that. Arguing about it, not so much......................
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The Bible doesn't mention self love? Where did I get the idea that it says ," Love your neighbor as you love yourself?" It doesn't say, "Love your neighbor but don't love yourself" If your version does, then you need to pick up a new book
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You've misunderstood me. Love God, love yourself, then love others. If you don't love yourself, you can't love others. Take care of yourself.
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salutem: Self love is not in the teachings of the bible. Self love puts you on a higher platform than God, which is not good. Love God first and then and only then can you like who you are as a mortal being.
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Salute- thank you for your comment.
I agree that without love we are nothing. 1 Corinthians 13.
But I do not agree that loving others, comes from loving oneself first.
I would have to say that it comes from loving God first, for God is Love.

And As Cmagnum- pointed out, we love because HE first loved us.

Absolutely.
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cmag - I agree we love because He loved us first, and to be able to love ourselves and others we must first accept the love God has for us.
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I thought first John said that we love because God first loved us?
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Scripture says love is more important than faith or hope. The capacity to love others is contingent first upon our capacity to love ourselves. Self love requires self care. Take care of yourself first; love yourself first; then others.
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It seems like this year has came with much inward struggle. But thank the Lord I have been maintaining. It has been such a blessing that the Lord has sustained my patience. And I am trying not to run before HIM. I am in wait mode, trying to be still and listen.
Sigh....
Mom has been having a rough time with the weather. The cold is not her friend. I have ran out of local outings to take her. And road trips are out until spring. So keeping her busy is such a chore right now. But, she has continued to ride her exercise bike, which is good since we can't get out and walk in this weather. However we try and go to different stores like Lowes and just walk around inside for a while. It
helps. I have gotten her eating a little better, baby steps. It has been quite rough being mostly her only social. Quite rough. I love her dearly.


Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.

Proverbs 12:25
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The Struggling Butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day, a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.
Then, it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.
The butterfly then emerged easily, but it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. 


Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives too. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, we would not be as strong as what we could have been.

"I asked for strength, and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom, and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity, and God gave me a brain and brawn to work.
I asked for courage, and God gave me danger to overcome.
I asked for love, and God gave me troubled people to help.
I asked for favors, and God gave me opportunities.
I received nothing I asked for but everything I needed!"
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"The eyes of the LORD are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry."

Psalms 34:15
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"Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted."

Matthew 5:4
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Rosses: Thank you very much!❤
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Smesque,

That last poem almost brought tears to my eyes. It is beautiful.
Thank you for sharing it!
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Llama, count on prayers for your cousin and for you and your family!
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Smeshque: Praise you, dear lady. Thank you.❤❤
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LL- You definitely have them. (HUG)
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I am in need of prayer tonight. My beautiful cousin, Sunday, who was stricken with CP at birth and was a 74 year old wheelchair bound woman & author died suddenly on December 30 after a hospital stay. TIA.
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"What about Me?"
God put me here to care for you,
with all my might that's what I'll do.
I know for you that this is rough, 
that getting through each day is tough.
But, what about me?
I alter each and every day, 
To fulfill your needs in every way.
I have no time that is not yours,
Any spare time is filled with chores. 
I know life is hard as you walk through,
Each day getting harder for you to do.
But, what about me?
But, what about me, I want to say,
Feeling lost and forgotten every day.
Consumed with caring for another,
Especially hard when she is your Mother.
But, what about me, I too have needs.
I am a newspaper that nobody reads. 
I am at best an afterthought.
I am weary and tired and tears I've fought.
But, what about me, I scream inside. 
I fight the tears of my patience being tried. 
But, what about me, I desperately seek, 
A grateful kiss upon the cheek. 
A pat on the back for a job well done.
An uplifting smile and laughter and fun. 
But, what about me?
What about me, how can I not see.
The King of the world died for me.
He left his perfect home, his throne, 
To die upon the cross alone.
In His eyes I am a queen,
All my labor to him is seen.
He wipes my tears,
He calms my fears.
My cries are always heard,
He gives me comfort in His word.
He gives me strength from day to day,
When I fail, He loves me anyway.
Oh what matchless love 
descending from above,
Because it was me he loved.
That's what about me. 


-Anonymous-
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Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.
Psalms 55:22
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