Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

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Is anyone else having a challenge of doing things scriptural, verses what the secular world says. As in scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first. I know what is right, just wondering if others may struggle with this. And how do we mourn the loss of ourselves without sinking into depression? How do we have joy in the midst of our trials and tribulations? It seems that as time passes my patience doesn't hurt as much, (must be experience), but still everyday I start wearing down where my patience begins to hurt a little and I am struggling not to let it be seen. I spend a lot of time in prayer and in the word, that is the only way I have the strength to do this, putting myself aside. But as a faulty human being, I am still in a struggle and seek like minded individuals who understand. May God bless all those who are loving their loved ones to the best of their ability.

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LL- I am sorry, is this someone Dear to you that has passed on? Sorry for the loss.
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Though a handsome mortal had to say "see you one day"
Do not mourn for my temporary home
I now am in awe of God's ray
I am in the company of many; I am not alone..........
IN MEMORIUM of Raymond Richard Tison, 4/3/1952-9/8/2018
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Smeshque: That is powerful and beautiful. Such lovely poetry for the soul.
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Look to Jesus, our Lord and Saviour in times of trouble, turmoil and trials and HE will see you through every single time. HE never wavers.
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............Some build their hopes on the ever drifting sand,
Some on their fame, or their treasure, or their land;
Mine’s on a rock that forever will stand,
Jesus, the Rock of Ages...............
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Beautiful, Smeshque, and well said. :)
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It's hard this life. The struggles and strife. But in all our woes and peril, let us not forget our true purpose. Our true worth and value. Caregiving can suck the life right out of you. But this is our reality, and sometimes we can forget what our true purpose is and fall into depression or complete feelings of woe and anguish.
Everything we do, we are to do for the glory of our Saviour. That means next time we have to clean up something gross, or our patience is being tested on every side, and we feel like giving up, let's just remember who we are really doing this for.

1 Peter 4:13
But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.
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“No one sees it, or will ever know ...but Jesus, He sees, and He gives us the strength to get up and do it another day. “

Amen. Beautifully said.
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Hello,
I have thought about this subject myself. As a believer, the scriptures encourage us to love others as we love ourselves...so it seems that we are meant to take care of ourselves as well. Just like the flight attendants instructions are to give yourself H20 first even before a baby, because in order to be able to hold the oxygen up to the baby you have to give yourself some first, or you will pass out and can't help the baby, or anyone else. So it seems - in order to help others- some self care is required. Like if someone is in need and all you have is your rent money- well, you can't risk losing the roof over your own head to meet another person's need. I have over the years developed a personal policy that I never loan money that I can't afford to give away. That way, if they pay me back fine if they don't fine. I don't even care if they don't pay me back, because in my mind it is a gift.
I am in a situation where my Mom's needs are so great that I have little left at the end of every day. I am so tired...I have forgotten what it felt like to have a life of my own and time to do things I want to do. Time with friends ... But I know this is temporary....I know the time I have left with my mom is short ... And reminding myself of this fact makes me pay attention and do the very best for her that I can. No one sees it, or will ever know ...but Jesus, He sees, and He gives us the strength to get up and do it another day. And when Mom passes away.... I can rest, knowing I gave it my best. I am going to miss her so very much. I won't miss the long hours and the work, but I will miss my precious mother so very much. So that is how I cope with the temporary loss of self during this time of my life. I think I will have more peace knowing I cared for her as no one else would. I will be glad that she did not have to die alone or with a stranger. I feel this is a blessing to my life that will help me bear it when she has gone to heaven. I won't grieve her loss in the same way my brother and sister will. So in a way it is giving me a better future spending this special time with my mom. I get very tired and burned out sometimes for sure ... but I know it is what I have been called to do. What I chose to say yes to. I think it is making me a more patient person for sure. I think it makes us stronger too, and ultimately the time spent care giving is not only a loss but a gain of becoming a different sort of person than we would have been otherwise.
Time passes no matter what we are doing... Ultimately if I am in God's will and doing whatever it is He has called me to do....I can't lose out on anything by doing what He wants.
We will lose everything in the end, leave everything and everyone behind...So loss is part of this life . But knowing John 3:16- Jesus said -who ever believes in me will have eternal life-...So as short and temporary as life is here on earth...we have life that lasts for eternity even right now...if we believe in Jesus.... we have a long long long life ahead of us. So just do what you can in the moment to reconnect with yourself ...read a favorite author ...call a friend...write a card to someone ...even if you have to get up an hour early or stay up an hour later....You are the only you. I read the old book Streams in the Desert and find a lot of comfort there...the Psalms help me a lot too. Praying and Praising takes my mind away from the daily grind ....God help us ....because as care givers we need it.
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I am barely hanging on by one thread it seems---out of state funeral, extensive vein treatment, arthritic hip and cold I picked up while getting an exray of the hip because, after all, clinics and hospitals are huge Petri dishes.
The reference to the stumbling block is the vein treatments, which will be many.
In addition, I did a slip and fall in my bath tub. A larger stumbling block.
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