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Is anyone else having a challenge of doing things scriptural, verses what the secular world says. As in scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first. I know what is right, just wondering if others may struggle with this. And how do we mourn the loss of ourselves without sinking into depression? How do we have joy in the midst of our trials and tribulations? It seems that as time passes my patience doesn't hurt as much, (must be experience), but still everyday I start wearing down where my patience begins to hurt a little and I am struggling not to let it be seen. I spend a lot of time in prayer and in the word, that is the only way I have the strength to do this, putting myself aside. But as a faulty human being, I am still in a struggle and seek like minded individuals who understand. May God bless all those who are loving their loved ones to the best of their ability.

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Obedience is better than sacrifice

Answer to trivia question
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Prayers for all and believing with you.

Hugs and strength to you for this journey my sister in Christ.
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Smeshque: Prayers sent posthaste to you dear lady. I hope everything will work out in God's good timing.
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Good word. Add to that Hebrews 5:14. Part of the problem is people still feeding on spiritual milk instead of spiritual meat by which our minds are transformed and out lives not conformed to the world as Romans 12 speaks of.
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John MacArthur writes: "Why is biblical discernment important?"
In its simplest definition, discernment is nothing more than the ability to decide between truth and error, right and wrong. Discernment is the process of making careful distinctions in our thinking about truth. In other words, the ability to think with discernment is synonymous with an ability to think biblically.
First Thessalonians 5:21-22 teaches that it is the responsibility of every Christian to be discerning: "But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil." The apostle John issues a similar warning when he says, "Do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world" (1 John 4:1). According to the New Testament, discernment is not optional for the believer-it is required.
The key to living an uncompromising life lies in one's ability to exercise discernment in every area of his or her life. For example, failure to distinguish between truth and error leaves the Christian subject to all manner of false teaching. False teaching then leads to an unbiblical mindset, which results in unfruitful and disobedient living-a certain recipe for compromise.
Unfortunately, discernment is an area where most Christians stumble. They exhibit little ability to measure the things they are taught against the infallible standard of God's Word, and they unwittingly engage in all kinds of unbiblical decision-making and behavior. In short, they are not armed to take a decidedly biblical stand against the onslaught of unbiblical thinking and attitudes that face them throughout their day.
Discernment intersects the Christian life at every point. And God's Word provides us with the needed discernment about every issue of life. According to Peter, God "has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence" (2 Peter 1:3). You see, it is through the "true knowledge of Him," that we have been given everything we need to live a Christian life in this fallen world. And how else do we have true knowledge of God but through the pages of His Word, the Bible? In fact, Peter goes on to say that such knowledge comes through God's granting "to us His precious and magnificent promises" (2 Peter 1:4).
Discernment -- the ability to think biblically about all areas of life -- is indispensable to an uncompromising life. It is incumbent upon the Christian to seize upon the discernment that God has provided for in His precious truth! Without it, Christians are at risk of being "tossed here and there by waves, and carried about by every wind of doctrine" (Ephesians 4:14).
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Praying for you, Smeshque 💗
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I ask for prayers for my family and I as a complicated family matter has risen and we want to make the right choices and wait on God to lead us. We need prayers. Prayers for wisdom and the right words, and the right actions. Thank you.

“But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”
Hebrews 11:6
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You do your best in the power of the Holy Spirit and He will sustain you as well. Last night I was going over the day in my mind and I realized the tasks that were required of me to care for my husband, while they sometimes feel overwhelming, God has given me strength to do.
You are not being asked to put your self aside, but realize where your strength comes from.
We all struggle with am I enough and God assures us we are.
If you literally are becoming physically ill, then you need to care for yourself before you can be any good for your loved one
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Smeshque: Thank you for that. I needed a reminder.
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Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Ephesians 4:28
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Amen, smeshque! Thank you ❤️
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Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God;

2 Corinthians 3:5
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NTDY
The man I talked about is also a pastor and I've had very helpful talks with him before. :)
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Good explanation, smeshque

Yes, we have all been like Martha in our lives, haven’t we? To strive to be more like Mary is admirable.
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NHWM- I think that obedience may at times require sacrifice of our own thoughts and desires.

Let me explain my thoughts if I can.
I am working on being more obedient. Which in turn requires sacrifice on my part. I am trying to be more like Mary than Martha. To sit at the feet of Jesus more. We often stand above HIM rather than sit at HIS feet.
We allow ourselves to get too busy to pray, to search and study the scriptures, to meditate on the word. We can just allow all the cares of the world, including being entertained, and doing what makes us feel good, that we totally can forget about Jesus. Martha was so concerned with this and that ( I am such a Martha), and Mary was concerned with what was most important, Jesus. I am trying to be a Mary, to sit at Jesus feet and not stand over HIM by putting myself and everyone else and everything else above HIM. So in order for me to sit at Jesus feet and to be obedient in loving HIM with all my heart, mind and soul, I will have to sacrifice what my flesh wants and do what my Spirit needs. And my Spirit Hungers for HIM. Yet I do not feed my Spirit as oft as I wish. I must sacrifice my routine to gain a new routine that involves giving HIM my firstfruits, not my leftovers.
Anyway this may not make sense. But these are the things I am working on and am praying on.

And to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love his neighbour as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.
Mark 12:33
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Porthcrawl,

That’s a start. It’s a good first step.
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Hope that works, but sometimes to unplug those hot guilt buttons take a little more than a good friend who listens well.
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Yoda and everyone,
Thank you. I am trying to think of someone I can talk to. Actually, there is a man at church whom I've talked with before who I know is willing to listen, but the problem is finding the time when he's available. When my life calms down from other things and I am more settled in my own life, other than mum business, I will talk to him about it
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Oh yes, the manipulative use of Bible verses. There's an old thread here about that. With some relatives, you have to tell them that there are also healthy boundaries in marriage which they must respect. There's a book on that too.
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I am reading "Boundaries" which takes a scriptural approach to relationships with others - he shows that putting others first is not always biblical or the right thing to do. Very useful read as my extended family uses Bible passages to try to manipulate me.
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Yoda,

You’re right. We do have to look at the entire picture. Thanks.
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I understand, but look at the context, the whole chapter, of that verse in I Samuel. King Saul had not fully obeyed God and was being rebuked through Samuel. That's different from Abraham's obedience and willingness to sacrifice. Hebrews 11:17 and 19 tell us a part of the story that Genesis does not.
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Yoda,

Look at examples of people who clearly do both, obedient and willing to sacrifice. Abraham comes to my mind. Thoughts?

Don’t we sometimes have to be willing to sacrifice in order to be obedient?

I am not trying to be contrary in my attitude or be a pain in the butt with my questions, hahaha. I’m sure that I am at times.

I’m one of those obnoxious ‘deep thinkers.’
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obedience is better than sacrifice I Samuel 15:22
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Salvation = ans. to trivia question.
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Port- I have yet to understand that feeling of guilt that we feel. I believe NHWM is right in that woman may feel it more than men. My DH does not understand why things make me feel guilty, and I have not the words to get him to understand.
But I totally understand that. That guilt feeling restricts us from doing things for ourselves, and well lot of things.
I am not sure yet how to overcome that. It could be a matter of ignoring we are not in charge of the happiness of others. The happiness of others is their choice. And they can find that in Jesus.
So maybe if we can get that through our heads, that it is not up to me to make happiness for this person. Maybe we will rid ourselves of this guilt.
If we are loving and caring to the best of our ability in Christ, then we have nothing to feel guilty about.
Easier said than done. I know all these things, i believe all these things, but my flesh gets in my way.
So let us pray about it and wait on the Lord to change it for us, and if HIS will is not to remove that from us, then let us trust that HE will see us through, and that HE is working it all out for our good.
This is a hard labor of love, and only with God's help can we do this as well as possible.
Keep looking up, HE has your answers.


Trivia answer for previous question:
And Pharaoh called Joseph's name Zaphnathpaaneah; and he gave him to wife Asenath the daughter of Potipherah priest of On. And Joseph went out over all the land of Egypt.
Genesis 41:45


Trivia: What is better than sacrifice?
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At the feet of Jesus I will lay my burdens down
I will lay my heavy burdens down
In the stillness I can hear my Savior calling out
Come to me and lay your burdens down

So I will lay down my struggles
I will lay down my shame
All the fear I drag around through this life
like a ball and chain
(All my questions and confusion)
I will sing Hallelujah to the One who sets me free
And you will find me at the feet of Jesus

In the arms of Jesus I will find my peace and rest
I hear him calling come to me and rest

Carried by my shepherd cradled tightly to His chest
There and there alone my soul finds rest
So I will rest in the shelter of my Savior's embrace
Hidden safely in the refuge of His mercy and His Grace
And I Will Sing Hallelujah to the One who sets me free
And you will find me in the arms of Jesus

At the feet of my Savior
At the feet of my King
I will bow down and worship
I will lift my voice and sing
Hallelujah Hallelujah to the One who sets me free

Chris Tomlin
You will find me at the feet of Jesus
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Port,

Obviously you care for your mom deeply. I admire that. You know deep in your heart that you don’t have any reason to feel guilty because you show love, care and concern for her. I have a feeling women struggle with issues more than men do. I totally appreciate my husband’s sensible logic. He grounds me.

I am glad to see that you recognize the importance of taking the time that you need to nourish yourself. A car doesn’t run on empty. We bring it to the service station to buy gas. So continue to feed your soul. It’s not just a desire of your heart but a true need so you can keep on keeping on. Hugs!
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Please see a therapist about getting free from that false guilt. You have done nothing morally wrong.
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Thanks for the suggestions and support! If it was a matter of consistency, it would be easier to handle. Last night I went to a meeting and returned home to find two messages, in one she called me a stinker. Even though it was 10:00 I took a chance and gave her a call. I said "Hello, this is the stinker." We had a good laugh and a good conversation. Too bad all conversations can't go like that. It's the ones that leave me with guilt and other bad feelings that are the worst, when she's not doing well and confused, or needing help which, for whatever reason, I can't give her.
I do turn the phone off--lots, until I feel guilty and call her, letting myself in for criticism as well as all the same gripes I've turned the phone off to avoid in the first place.
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