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Mom stopped eating about 3 days ago and only drinks enough water to wash down pills. Her body fat is already gone so her body is eating muscle now. I'm not going to force food and water on her. I've read enough to know that her systems are dying and dehydration followed by malnutrition are the two most humane ways to let go and die. She asked me today if there was a way I could hasten the process. No I can't but I'm not trying to prolong it either. She's not in much pain cause she takes an Oxycodone every 4 hrs. The pain is emotional in nature. I've told her to stop worrying about us halfassed kids and do what feels right for herself. She asks straight questions, I give her straight answers as in "I think you only have a few days left." She has always considered me the no - spin guy. I believe kidney cancer is going to get her even before the unstable angina, even before the dementia and COPD. Sister is helping out right now but the parrot must not trust sis much. Every time mom so much as groans the parrot screams for " bob. " Ancient technology at its best. lol..

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Her battle is over. Well done to both you and your Mom.
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corrections ... again *sigh*

not "medcine circle" but METAPHYSICAL

even as UNwell AS a person maybe

not "of on going medication with our dearly departed"
but "of ONGOING COMMUNICATION with our dearly departed"

not "and don't know any of us relate to that?"
but "and don't MANY others relate to that?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

AFTERTHOUGHT:

There is a special place for YOU on the other side for you, Bob.
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I hope you will allow me to post some of my medicine circle thoughts without the least intention of trampling on anyone else's beliefs. I am a philosophy of spirituality and religion person, believing there's room for everything and it all comes down to the same thing anyway, just a different way of explaining it.

My perspective is that your mom is now out of her temporary corporeal body and fully vested back into her energy body. If Albert Einstein is to be believed: E=mc(squared) -- sorry, I couldn't get my android to do a superscript -- Energy never goes away, it only changes form. Even as well as a person maybe, as unable as they are to communicate, when finally out of body, perfect health is experienced, perfect communication is restored; the only problem is, it's hard for US to "hear" them. To the extent that we can open up our own energy channels, to that extent can we communicate with their new energy stream. They are not truly gone, it just seems like it to us. And in the middle of all the physical things we must do to mark their passing, to honor the physical being that they were, to demonstrate the love and respect we know they deserved, to participate in the human grieving process, all of that puts the possibility of on going to medication with our dearly departed a little bit on the back burner.

Cap'n, I take notice, acknowledge, appreciate and honor all you did for your mom. In spite of weird and inappropriate behavior on the part of your family -- and don't know any of us relate to that? -- you have friends here who think you are a super person.
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Captain,
I only recently started reading this board, always appreciated your inputs. Your mother knew you loved her, that is the greatest gift you can give anyone. Catch your breath, and take care of yourself now.
I am sorry for your loss.
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Captain, May you cherish the wonderful memories and find comfort in knowing her pain is gone! May she find peace and eternal happiness. Thoughts and prayers for you to heal and continue with a life that will continue to make your mom proud! To have a son who cared and was there in her journey to the other side, as a mom, I know she is already proud of you!!! (as far as SIS, I am proud of you for standing your ground and having the house all for yourself and the bird!! Kudo's Captain!!)
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Captain,
With Sympathy. So sorry for your loss.
You were a blessing to her. May she rest in peace.
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Some siblings seem more like pirates than grieving offspring. Sending you good thoughts at a difficult time. Today we bury my inlaws, will have your mom in our prayers.
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Captain ..

Oh .. I really wanted to say something crude about the sis ... but outta respect .. I'll simply wish you a soothing, healing night alone with your memories and a good bottle of whatever you're drinkin' ..
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Captain... I pray for your complete healing and that your next assignment in this life will bring your great joy and adventure. As you've served your Mom in her hour (months) of need, I pray blessings are unleashed upon you in ways not imagined.

Your Mom was loved to the end. You showed that.
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oh my. my older sis has been here for about 9 days. at mothers death she was not only too comfortable but inventorying her home . property, and booty. i had to tell her tonight that she wasn't charge of nothing yet and furthermore get the hell out of moms house. her extended clan of 16 welfare recipients were only minutes from settling here themselves.. not goin to happen. tonight its me and bird and we're healing . we want this house empty..
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Captain......I have admired you n the way you have cared for your mom......You accepted the process of letting go in the most honest, real way......along with that incredible humor of yours......I know you will miss her, but I also know, that you're thankful that she passed, peacefully......You have been a good n loyal son.....What more could a mother ask for.....no jokes, here..Capn....lol.....I just wanted you to know that you're in my thoughts n I pray the days to follow are filled with renewed peace........You're awesome........Beck
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My condolences to you for the loss of your mom whom you took very exceptional caregiving. You've been on my thoughts these past few days. You did an excellent job of caring for your mother. I'm saying this from my heart.
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((((((hugs))))) For a while you will be busy with the stuff that needs to be done, and then you will have time for yourself. Do some good things for you. prayers for all.
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Your Mom was blessed to have you caring for her. May you have peace and comfort knowing you did your best for your Mom. Get plenty of rest in the days to come and take care of yourself.
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Capn, I think it is the most we can ask -- that they die peacefully. I know the house is going to seem empty without her. I'm sorry she is not with you anymore.
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Captain, I am sorry for the loss you must be feeling right now. I am happy for you that you and your mom were able to do what you needed to do your way and with great love. As the others have said please take some time for yourself . Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers!
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My hearfelt condolences Bob. You cared so well for her...now her loving spirit watches over you. As Boni said, allow yourself to grieve. Take care of yourself, take all the time you need. I will keep you in my prayers as well.
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I've been thinking of you and your mom . I'm so sorry for your loss. You're a beacon of good advice and humor on here and I hope you'll continue to post for the foreseeable future. We need your spirit and strength.
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So sorry for your loss Bob. I am also elated that her pain has ended and she is in, what has to be, a better place. I know you are strong enough to get through these difficult next few days and weeks....but please allow yourself to let go and grieve. It's necessary and healthy. You are in my prayers.
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Hi cap'n - I'm sure you and your mom are on all of our minds, you're certainly on mine. Hope all is proceeding as you would have it be.
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mom passed away this morning. it was painless and non violent.
we have 7 redipens of lantus solarstar insulin here if someone needs it. you can email me at searcymasonry@yahoo.com and id consider mailing it to you.
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Praying for peace and comfort for your entire family. Take care.
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Hang in there Captain:(
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Thinking about you. That's all. Just thinking about you.
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(((((((hugs)))))) How are things this morning? Hope you got some sleep and all is peaceful.
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Hang in there Captain! Know we are with you in spirit! When she is ready she will let go and will be at peace your kind words and deeds her last memory on earth. Hugs!
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mom is so near passing it isnt believable that shes hanging on. i have read that they can still hear us altho not able to respond. i introduce myself bout every haf hour and tell her my usual tomfoolery. mom, you look higher than cooter brown. god they should have given you and i this liquid morphine years ago, we love you and appreciate you, etc. goddamn, you dont give up easily.. you know, mother, unruly son shit..
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Captain, I'm glad that she's being kept asleep. What you said "there's really no unfinished business between us" touched something within me. I thought of my mom, helping caregive her for 24 years, and her recent passing away. I do believe I'm seeing why I resisted my siblings efforts for me to "find closure or I would regret it once she's buried." I have no need to find closure. Thank you.

I'm just so glad that your mother is being kept asleep.
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mom is being kept asleep at this point. her and i have spent every moment together for months if not years and theres really no unfinished business between us. we both think alike to include out shared paranoid personality tendacies. thanks for all the kind thoughts.
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Captain, you and your Mom are in my thoughts. Wishing peace for both of you at this difficult time!
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