i moved here from maryland to take care of her....i take care of EVERYTHING...then she tells me she wants a specific day of the week when i'm going to clean her toilet....mind you...she's bi polar and has destroyed our family. i love her but at this request she just hurt me. i clean her house every week.....why am i still not good enough...i try soo hard NOT to let her bother me but sometimes she just does...

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You don't say what disorder your mother is suffering from, but remember, her behavior may be the result of that affliction. Also, the elderly often take out their frustration on those they love most. I know its hard, but try not to take it personally. She may be acting out because she's frustrated and afraid by the physical or mental changes that are happening. Here is a link to a question/answer from another caregiver, who like you, is hurt and frustrated by her parent's behavior. I hope this helps!

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