Balancing caring for an elder and household responsibilities.
My wife's mother took a turn for the worse in March with dementia. Cognitively, she knows who everyone is but she is on a feeding tube. Her siblings have been rotating the nursing home with 24/7 someone being there. I support my wife spending time at the nursing home with her mom. But, her two siblings have jobs and barely miss work. My wife had a job and quit due to the way she was treated. She was going to start an online business and we agreed she could try it for 6 months. Well, the 6 months are over and while she did ok to start, the last couple of months, she works an average of 2 hours a day. The rest of the time she has outside of the nursing home, she helps a little with household responsibilities but I would say 30 minutes a day. There are very few discussions/planning either a calendar or finances. When we do talk, she seems to get frustrated that I bring it up. So, we lost her income and now pay for medical insurance which means our expenses went up while the income contribution went down. I feel pretty much ignored when I bring up the fact that medically speaking her mom does not need someone there 24/7 as there are staff there and that she needs to plan ahead so that she has time for work. There has to be more of a balance. I want to be supportive, but I am not able to make up the gap. It is too much per month to make up. I have talked to some professionals but I feel very stuck. I do care for my wife and I feel horrible she is going through this, but I just feel I am stuck with the additional burdens and keep falling behind.