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After 6 long months, I was finally able to visit dad in his LTC facility - as an essential caregiver. I get tested at the same frequency as all the employees there (which if you ask me, is still not enough). Anyway, a few weeks ago, the facility entered phase 2, which means that any family could go inside on any day for an1 hour monitored visit. So for dad and I, we’ve been seeing each other every day for the past 2 weeks.
PLOT TWIST - this past weekend, I received a phone call to tell me that all visits were cancelled because an inside worker tested positive. My world was shattered. Yes I was grateful to have seen dad (inside the facility) but now going into lockdown for a minimum of 14 days is going to set him into a tailspin. Residents are required to stay in their rooms, hallways are closed off, and no small group activities. For what it’s worth, I did try explaining the reason to dad, but he wasn’t too understanding (rightly so - he and the other residents are paying an enormous price for a workers mistake). So far, no other residents have tested positive, but I’m pancakes that they will (since some were in contact with this worker). My father has already had Covid but I’m praying he doesn’t get it again. We talk on the phone and I visit at the window, but sometimes when I was right infront of him he didn’t recognize me (and I blame THAT not solely on dementia, but on 6 months of not seeing me in person). In dad's world - his only child has deserted him again. I’m at a loss.

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OK We are good. It's ok to disagree. We can still love each other.

I'm just not going to be fooled when I can see what's going on as plain as day light.

Be blessed.
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The Coronavirus in Nursing Facilities is not coming from visitors, it is coming from employees.


Stay Tuned Folks.
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LeaAnnie1

Oh, yes, I make plenty of sense.


My husband is a heart patient as well. He goes to Cardiac Rehab 3 times a week. The patients put their masks on, go into to Rehab. That's it. No Beal Deal.

Guess what? They have all been safe the entire time. Hmmm Wonder how this is so???

Go into a Cardiologist's Doctor's office and the "DOCTOR" states, "You may take your mask off if you would like." WHAT????? Why would he say such? Perhaps, because we are 6 feet apart???

The hospitals are allowing at least one visitor. Maybe the Nursing Facilities could take lessons from them. SMH

Guess I may as well stop here because "My Point" keeps getting missed, entirely. : )


Lord, Help Us All.
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At my mom's facility we haven't been within 6 ft of each other since the middle of March. No ONE gets through those front doors except essential personnel. Even with the outside visits we are 6 feet apart and in masks. 22 residents died in the spring and the nursing home is doing every thing they can to prevent that from happening again, but they must also follow the governor's mandates. The facility is empty enough now that all rooms only have one resident. Nobody like these lock down rules.

This facility is above average, and we are satisfied with the job they have done. All of the activities department (they are the ones that schedule and take the patients to the visiting areas) even volunteered to work Thanksgiving Day so that as many residents as possible can have a 20 minute family visit.
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Imho, how devastating it is for these elderly people, who are unable to fully comprehend the scope of the Novel Coronavirus. Prayers sent.
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BroadwayBaby, I think that all of us consider ourselves "clean" and certainly the way you are having to live you more than likely ARE, and are NOT a danger. But you see, right, that they cannot say "OK, BroadwayBaby can visit her loved one, but others cannot". That won't work.
Recently onNPR a woman talked about working doing laundry unpaid so she can be at her Mom's facility, gets tested with other workers, and heard of doing this from a wife visiting hubby the same way. I guess volunteer worker might work? But right now in CA they are closing down tight again.
We haven't been responsible I think, and have allowed this virus to come back full surge PLUS some. Now we will pay an awful price for it. Nurses in the midwest stressed to such a point that covid positive asymptomatic nurses allowed in to work in covid wards. Hospitals already flying folks out to other ERs. And this is the beginning, I think of a long awful winter. Our elders will suffer more than almost anyone else; when they are ALREADY suffering more. It is horrific. But it is a Pandemic. If anyone has read about the 1918 flu, the second run through made the first one look like nothing.
Those of us who pray will pray, those of us who hope will hope, but the virus doesn't care. It's here, and it likes it here. It is so awfully tough, but we have to find a way to get through it best we can.
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"Is your dad allowed to leave the facility for a while and visit with you? That's how it works at a few facilities I am familiar with."

Kibooki....my 90 year old dad is in LTC for a few months now. I finally got to visit for 30 minutes just inside the gift shop in the lobby that they set up for visits with family. When I saw him I was shocked, he wasn't even wearing his own clothes, they seem to have lost a lot of his stuff. He looked terrible, an absolute mess. His hair looked like a matted dog. I asked the director of nursing if I could come by the following week and wheel him just outside the front door and give him a haircut,(with protection of course) he likes his head shaved and neat. They said if I did that, just taking him outside, they would have to quarantine him for two weeks (!) upon coming back in the front door, a wheelchair ride of literally 10 feet, resulting in having to move him out of his present room and to a different floor with ALL of his belongings. Absolute NONSENSE. I am basically housebound due to my own disability and take care of my immuno-compromised Autistic 21 year old son. I am NOT a danger to my father. They are pissing me off to no end.
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No, Hailey, nothing is CERTAIN. Nothing is for sure. We have just to do the BEST we can. We are all suffering. To some more or less extent. And we are all afraid to some more or less extent. Every township, city, state, country is doing its best not to completely collapse into a depression worldwide that will prevent recovery. And every entity trying to make its best possible decisions. I think the only thing that bothers me is when we slip into the "No one cares. No politicians, doctors, administrators CARE." It is too easy to blame others struggling with the best decision they feel is correct for them and those they are in charge of. I assure you, most people are as human as we are. Most people DO care.
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Well said, lealonnie and Alva.
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Haileybug.......my husband just had open heart surgery and cannot get into Cardiac Rehab until late December as it stands right now because of covid and the fact that our state is currently down to 25% capacity in ALL public locations. Temperatures ARE being checked in ALL medical facilities, including the cardiologists office, so what you are saying does not make any sense at all.

Furthermore, I have a good friend who caught the virus while having a meeting with her boss in a smallish office. BOTH were wearing masks; his WIFE had the virus, not him............but he was apparently a carrier and chose NOT to quarantine himself for the required 14 days. My friend is now in the hospital (day 3) with sepsis and an oxygen sat of 81; unable to say more than 1 word w/o her sats dropping, and this is WITH oxygen. She is in her early 30s with no pre existing conditions.

Those who complain & moan about it not being 'fair' for elders to be protected from this virus by any means necessary are the first ones who would be screaming bloody murder if their loved one contracted the virus and was hospitalized and died. The emotional damage being done to elders is nothing compared to the physical damage that WILL be done to them when they are exposed to a virus than CAN be lethal, with or without a mask.

Nothing about a pandemic is 'good' for anyone. The restrictions aren't good. The lockdowns aren't good. The social isolation isn't good. The loss of jobs isn't good. Even when 'safety guidelines' are enforced, they aren't always enough. Just because we're told to 'wear masks' to be safe doesn't mean we WILL be safe wearing a mask.

Where are our vulnerable elders are concerned, better safe than sorry.
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Alva

I love you too.

However, I sit thinking about the damage that is being done to these elderly by isolating them in such a way. It's not good for them at all.

I get the part about wanting to keep them safe. What I don't get is, if the safety guidelines are enforced, then there should be no spreading the virus?

If you should visit a Cardiac and Pulmonary Rehab, you will not see anyone checking the patient's temp or following any strict precautions. Same in a Cardiologist office. These patient's are very vulnerable.

Therefore, when I make the comparisons, I am not seeing where this isolation thing makes any sense.

I will take it a little further, something in my heart tells me that something is wrong with this picture.
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HaileyBug,
I agree with you about how devastating this is to our elders.
I just happen to believe it is devastating to the decent people working to care for them as well.
Much as I love you, I often find myself wishing that the answers to Covid-19, and indeed to ALL of life, were as easy as you always tell us they are.
Not everything can be perfect. Not everything has an easy fix. Most of us are just trying to do what we can to help, and are understanding that MOST others are doing the same.
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I see absolutely no reason for this to be happening in a nursing facility. Isolating the elderly and they think this is ok for them? Really?

Are there not safety measures in place? Masks, social distancing, hand washing, lysol, sanitizers

Do the Administrators not know how to enforce these safety measures in their own facility?

Yes, I know they have plenty of "excuses" but it makes no sense.

OK. We already know there is visitations in the hospital where there are more people. some whom are more vulnerable than those of a Nursing Facility.

What about these doctor's offices where the elderly and vulnerable are going about their business? Huh??? How about the cardiologist offices where the patients are very vulnerable? The many other places for the elderly? They are not shutting them down and telling the patients to stay home because they need to be kept safe from the pandemic.

It's all excuses. That's all it is.

They are doing more harm to your father than good and that's sad.

So, sorry.

Even if it takes having a visit outside being monitored the entire time then so be it.

I asked this question before. What is the problem? I don't mean what is the excuse. bottom line
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You need to see your father! Ask them to make an exception. This shutdown is ridiculous. It is ruining far more lives than the virus ...which has over 99% recovery rate right now. I had seen some instances where they would at least let people see their loved ones at a distance. They would bring them to a window or outside so that they could at least SEE them! That is the minimum they could do.
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I'm sorry if this has been asked/answered, but what state does your father live in. I live in Florida and there is an exception to the 14 day quarantine if you qualify as a "compassionate caregiver". If you're not in Florida, check with your Department of Health and ask if they have this exception.
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Wow, your facility is far more lenient than ours. We are in Phase 3 and we only get two 30 minute visits a week, outside, in full PPE, in the Florida sun!

But our rules say the same, new cases - no visits till everyone is clear. Hang in there!
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And yet another story where the cure is worse than the disease.
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Is your dad allowed to leave the facility for a while and visit with you? That's how it works at a few facilities I am familiar with.
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sorry for what you are going thru, however (and I am sure some people won't like this), but you can't blame that one worker for their mistake.  People need to go to stores for groceries, other places to handle appointments, etc., and there are plenty of people that still don't want to wear masks because they "claim" to have medical issues that prevent them from wearing them.  I don't know how much of that is true because I saw a woman the other day with "oxygen on" and she was wearing a mask..........(she was waiting for an appt).  I don't like wearing a mask either (makes me hot, I get a headache, etc)......BUT I DO WEAR ONE.  You can come in contact with someone who decides not to wear one, they cough without covering their face (which is typical of some people) and then you got germs in the air.  That worker you are talking about probably has taken all the precautions she can but still tested positive (doesn't mean she has symptoms, etc).....You will just have to remind your dad that you still love him, and that as soon as things have been cleared up you will be in to see him again. repeat every time you talk to him.  And as far as not recognizing you.......I saw my dad every week and sometime he would know me and the next time not...........it was the dementia.  that disease affects everyone differently and can deteriorate at different levels, etc.  Wishing you luck and hang in there.
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My dad was in MC when covid hit. I understand the facility has to do all they can to protect the vulnerable clients inside. I also watched as social isolation took several people in Dad’s hacienda, not AZ or dementia. My dad couldn’t get the FaceTime visits and our phone thru the window visits were not too great. I started sending him a letter every day. Sounds corny, but he’d read them again & again and said they gave him some hope. Can you speak to an ombudsman or governor and see if there’s anyway you can do a socially distanced outside visit with your dad since he’s already had the virus? I feel your pain! We were able to take my dad out and set up 24/7 help in an apt, but that’s not an option for most.
Continue to make contact in whatever means you can. Our LO do slide and suffer with the changes, but deep down the most important thing is they feel loved and not forgotten! Hang in there!
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lealonnie1, yes on your attitude on the virus. My daughter is back to teaching in Washington State. She has special ed little ones, and masks and careful handwashing in any numbers proving quite humorous at best, sad at worst. Principal went down first. Now a co worker. And last night DD had a sore throat. Will be tested today. Numbers are up in a HUGE way in Washington State. SanFrancisco has closed all public dining again; the outdoors now too cool for those wonderful little outdoor dining things.
Hailey, yes, for ALF and all LTC unfortunately it is the workers who will be bringing in the virus for the most part. But at least that limits it SOMEWHAT. Many of these workers are so poorly paid they work in more than one facility for more than one shift. It's a problem.
It's a virus. We need to deal. Mask up. Take what care you can. I do hear the new task force will prioritize having masks made in the USA. That will help a bit with PPE, but long into the future. Dr David Kessler is a personal hero of mine. So I have hope here and dashed hope there.
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I am so sorry. Facilities have been "so concerned" that "visitors" were going to bring in the virus. An "employee" brought the virus in? Now, that is a shame.

I can only imagine how you feel.

Keep letting him see your face and reminding him as much as possible who you are.

Again, I am so sorry.

Blessings
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I don't know how you can say it was the 'workers mistake' that she tested positive for covid19. I have a very good friend who's now very sick with covid, through no fault of her own, because of her boss who came to work when his WIFE was sick with covid. He wore a mask, she wore a mask, but they met together in a smallish office for a meeting. Now she's sick. Masks don't work, as most people realize by now. And it's nobody's 'fault' that they get sick with this virus unless they attend a 'covid party' to purposely get infected. And, in residential care settings, the more often they test everyone, the more positive tests will be found. It's the nature of the beast, unfortunately.

Your father has already had the virus and survived, which means it's highly unlikely he'll get it again. The worker may have had a false positive test result to begin with, nobody knows for sure.

You should try to accept the virus and the fact that it's going to be around for quite some time. A vaccination may be an answer, and it may not..........who knows? You can take your father out of the ALF he's in and home with you, or you can let the chips fall where they may. That's what I'm doing; my mother resides in a Memory Care ALF and goes through periods where she is distressed and more annoyed than usual due to various covid restrictions, but there's nothing I or anyone else can DO about it. I window visit when I can (we've not been allowed ANY inside visits since last March) as that's all I can do.

I think we're all doing the best we can in the midst of a pandemic. When the virus mutates to a less virulent strain that's more like the common cold, then we can all breathe a sigh of relief. In the meantime, we just have to deal with the hand we're given. Call your dad daily and remind him how much you love him and that you'll see him soon. Bring up pleasant memories you can share, and leave him on a good note when you hang up. I'm sorry you're both going through this, and all of us who are in the same situation. A pandemic is an ugly thing for all concerned, but mostly, for the elders who don't understand why they can't see their loved ones or celebrate the holidays.

Sending you a hug & a prayer for peace.
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Annabox,
Oh, my heart just goes out to you! I just couldn't imagine what you and your dad are going through. There are so many people in your same situation and I'm thanking my loving God that we have our mother at home. You and your dad are in my prayers!

Blessings,
Vicky
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I am so sorry that this is happening again in yours and your fathers lives. Sadly this is a story that is playing out all over the world, with millions of folks. Does it suck? Yes. Does it seem unfair? Yes. The powers that be, say that it's meant to protect those that are most vulnerable, but the untold damage it has done and will continue to do to those that are most vulnerable is far worse than any virus can do. It's really a no win situation. Everyone loses.
I know that if I was given a choice of being with my loved ones and risking being exposed to the virus, or stay locked up in my room for weeks with no or little interaction with anyone, I would choose to be with my loved ones and let the chips fall where they may. But that's just me. When it's our time to go, it's our time to go. It's as simple as that.
Again, I am sorry that you're having to deal with this.
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