My mom is diabetic and has heart problems plus she seems to be a narcissist, but wasn't never diagnosed that I know of. She lies a lot and gets verbally violent. My main issue is she won't take her medication and ends up in the hospital a lot. I try to help, but she says I'm dumb and can't tell what to do or how to take her meds that her doctor told her so and she singed a paper stating this. She has a HMO Kaiser and apparently California doesn't care about the elderly wellbeing because I've tried calling the doctors as well as Social Services but all they do is Nothing! She could die if she continues this way!
I'd keep my eyes open for signs that she may not be capable of making her own decisions. Of course, that may not help you get her to take them, but, at least you'll know why.
So sorry to hear about what is happening. I found this link and I hope it can connect you with the resources to help your mom.
I would decide if you want to be the one to take charge of things. You can pursue legal action, if you think she's incompetent. I'd get a legal consult with an attorney to see what evidence you need. Even if you win, it's a hard job managing a resistant parent. Despite your best efforts, you may not be able to get her to cooperate.
And if you don't get appointed to make decisions on her behalf, then you have to stand by and watch her go down hill. It's a tough decision. I don't envy you. I'd try to figure out how you can put the least stress on yourself. All you can do, is all you can do. I'd try not to let it make my life miserable.
1) seek legal help to be assigned her guardian. Then you can take control and deal directly with all this. Of course, if she is found to be competent then she can do as she pleases...even putting herself back in the hospital.
2) accept that this is your mom's choice. Right or wrong, this is what she has chosen for herself. Accept it.
If your mom is cognitively impaired, you may need to figure out how to get a doctor evaluation to prove that. That might not be doable either.
I'm sorry for your troubles. I had many of the same issues with my Dad. The family lawyer (association with the family for many years) help me get through all this. But, it wasn't cheap.