About 4 years ago, my (then) fiancé brought his mother with dementia to live with him. He has no other relatives in the area and has been taking good care of her. We had been dating about a year at that time.
About 1 year ago, he & I bought a house together, bringing his mom with us to the new place. We got married a month ago. Recently, I had a free afternoon and took her to lunch. We were having a friendly conversation when she said out of the blue "Do you know (my son's) wife? What do you think of her?" I said "Uhm.. that would be me." She said "Oh, I meant my other son's wife (her only other son passed away 4 years ago and was never married)." Before I could stop the conversation from taking a weird track, she blurted "She's not very sociable. I don't know what he sees in her." Needless to say, she was talking TO me, ABOUT me. Very awkward and not making me feel very warmly towards her. I told my husband about it and he says she has never said anything bad about me to him. Knowing this was bothering me, he said something to her but of course she doesn't remember a thing and then apologizes but not even knowing what she was apologizing for. And I wasn't really looking for an apology, just a little upset to hear that's what she thinks about me.
Since I never knew her before she had dementia, I'm not sure how to move past the awkwardness if she feels this way about me. It's not like we can talk it out. I doubt she even remembers what she said. Presumably, we'll be living in the same household for some time and she's generally a pleasant person. Suggestions?
It's the dementia. If it weren't for the dementia she wouldn't have said that. And dementia does not always speak the truth.
Let it go.
Sometimes you have to let it roll.. you say she is nice , so write it off! At least your not his mistress....or housecleaner...LOL
Or when she'd ask one of my friends if she was Mom's daughter.