I was my Aunt's durable POA. She was placed in a Nursing home because she wasn't able to live alone no longer. After she was in the Nursing home I had to stop visiting her for awhile because,ever time I went to see her she would demand me to take her home.She had bad dementia .It bothered me bad not to visit her but,it did help her get use to being in their.That was my main goal was to get her use to being in there.In the past she would ask me to take her home.It was sad to tell her I can't....As time went bye I would receive phone calls from the nursing home saying she fill or sick or letting me know they treated her .Here is the main issue,,,,,
I received a call from the Nursing home 10 PM saying my Aunt passed away in her sleep. They told me they put her down for bed. Ten minutes later they went to check on her and she was dead they told me.I didn't see her body until the day of the funeral.
The day of her funeral the first thing other family members and I noticed.My Aunt's nose looked broke in the casket .Her nose was bent very bad.All the Family members was telling me her nose looks like it was broke!..I then asked the funeral director about her nose looking broke and the funeral man told me he thought so too.He stated her nose was like that when he received her.I decided at that time to continue with the funeral.I took photos.She was to be at rest the following day.When I got home after the funeral more and more wonders came to mind.Family members was upset telling me to contact the funeral home.So,I did.That same night I called the funeral director asking him to take photos of her face before they laid her to rest and I ask if he can write me out a statement stating he receive her in that condition.After I asked the director to do that.His story changes.He told me that if her nose was broke there would have been some type of bruising to her face.But,yet during the funeral even the director told us he thought it looked broke too.Strange how the director's story changed after I called to ask more questions......Not once did I ever receive a call from the Nursing home stating she broke her nose.During the funeral her nose was bad.Everyone stated it looked broke and even the funeral director felt at that time.I haven't seen my Aunt for about a month before she passed.If she died face first on the floor I could understand why her nose would look broke.But,they told me she died in bed in her sleep.She is now in the ground at rest.Should I attempt to look more into this or should I let her RIP and do nothing.If she would have broke her nose a month ago and the nursing home didn't tell me is my wonder.Any advice please?Anyone else ever have a family member's nose broke in a casket?I haven't called the Nursing Home yet to ask.I'm not for sure if I should attempt or not?Thanks!
"At that age their not able to live alone in their home.One fall is all it takes to stop that living at home care of thinking.The time will come if not here already.
To your question,I would say 3 times a day would be a fare visit frame.She will need someone to give her her morning meds.(Morning).Afternoon lunch(Afternoon) and evening dinner and help to bed.(Evening).What about depends and trips to the bathroom?At age 94 I'm sure she needs help with those issues too."
I guess that advice only applies to others...
When I read this:
"You can kiss my ***...I came here for advice and your pointing the finger towards me saying I didn't do my job as a POA?...I will say this,If you ever become a POA.You will never do it again and that's a fact!.......You all have a great **** day!....... "
I realized it was a waste of time. I don't see that anyone responded in such a way to provoke such a vitriolic, low class response from you. They offered frank opinions and suggestions. They tried to help; you lashed out in anger.
Plenty of us are proxies under our parents' DPOAs. There are many who are sincere and don't "shoot the messenger".
I would recommend that you get advice from an attorney in the state where she died. If there is a wrongful death claim or something else, there are time lines to file them and an attorney can explain that to you. Not that you want to do this, but you need to know, just in case.
There are many things to consider, but it sounds like you might just want questions answered and to settle your mind and not so much the money issue. And if you did recover money, if she was on Medicaid, her estate may have to pay back funds to Medicaid, so there is that to consider.
I would examine the death certificate to see the cause of death. Did the doctor examine her body? Was a nose injury noted?
Your post says that they put her to bed, then found her dead 10 minutes later. Maybe she did fall out of bed, broke her nose and then passed away. There should be an incident report, with details prepared and signed by the facility. Maybe the attorney can tell you how to get a copy of that. I would keep in mind that unless she was intentionally injured, it's quite likely that she was hurt in the fall by accident and passed away naturally. They provided good care for her for years, correct?
Do you know if they performed any CPR on her? Was she DNR? Could her nose have been injured by resuscitation measures? Maybe, with the right communication, all of your questions could be answered.
You couldn't prove the possible fracture without x-rays, if they were taken, or, more severe yet, exhumation, which I would consider drastic just to prove a point.
She fell; she could easily have broken her nose. Would that have caused her death? I don't know but doubt it. Read the Death Certificate - what's the statedccause of death?
I don't see anything to be gained by pursuing this issue. It's only going to create doubt and prolong grieving for her family.
If her nose was broken, it probably occurred during the fall, but you can't prove that. Even if you could, what would you hope to accomplish? You have no grounds for a malpractice claim.
Perhaps you could file a complaint against the nursing home, but that's about the extent of action you could take. I still think that raising anxiety among the family, who presumably are already grieving, is not wise at this point.
At this point, her body was in the hands of too many people, the nursing home, the transportation company, potentially an ambulance, a coronor's office perhaps, and finally the funeral home. Even if this nose break happened before death (which is unlikely because there would be bruising) you will have no legal way to prove that. It could have happened at any point after her death and you cannot prove when.
You are not going to get anyone involved to claim this damage. You will be wasting your time and causing yourself unneeded stress and worry. My advice would be to drop the matter and find peace that your aunt is finally at rest now.