My mom has been diagnosed with PSP a rare form of Parkinson's . We recently moved her into an Assisted living Facility.. my mom doesn't want to make friends, participate in any activities...just wants to sit in her room and mope.. there are five of us children that are only 5 mins away and my mom wants all of us EVERYDAY when we get off work to come over and just sit with her....one of my sisters cannot do a lot for mom as she is disabled herself. my other sister works the night shift and a part time job during the day... my brother comes once a week and my niece that my mom raised has recently moved away.. that leaves ME... I'm there 5days a week at least 6 hours and on weekends 12-13... it doesn't seem to affect my mom at all she doesn't even care that I have giving up most of my life for her since dad passed away 11 yrs ago...I'm a local actor and still try to do some theater... however I have had to back out of several plays because caregiving got in the way of rehearsals.. so now I only do staged readings, where I don't have to remember lines because I'm too dang tired all the time or Storytelling events that are local...god forbid if I have to go out of town for anything.......my mom is SPOILED and she only wants her children to do for her....the nurses can be in the room and she will tell them she doesn't have to go to the bathroom and as soon as they leave she wants me to assist her (can you say back pain)... We thought that moving her to a place where there is 24 hours of people there with her would be good for her.. but she is depressed and mean.....I think I resent her because for years she pretending to be sick to keep me at her house longer when I visited.. my mom suffered from thick chart syndrome... ER visits at least 10 times a month for attention... now she has people to pay her attention because she pays them basically to do so and she wont take it....lord help me!!
You may think that she is trying to punish you, but she can't make you do anything you don't chose to do. Try to let go of it and see if you feel better. She will be fine, as she is in a place where she is being care for.
I agree with Freqflyer about stepping back. She is in a place where others can attend to her needs. There is no reason to be a slave to her when it's not necessary. I have a friend who's mother was in AL then nursing home for over 12 years with AD. My friend used to visit everyday. Her doctor told her to stop it and that it was not healthy for her. She reduced it to twice a week and did better with that.
Normally when an elder moves into Assisted Living the Staff will recommend no one from the family visit for at least two weeks... so you might need to start doing that now. Tell Mom you can't see her for two weeks and see what happens.... make sure she knows so she isn't sitting in her room waiting for you. Tell the Staff you won't be there nor will your siblings.... then the Staff can try to get your Mom out of her room to socialize/activities.