Important: Ask about Transfer Trauma BEFORE moving them from home to a nursing home.

janap, I am surprised they took her to foster care with a history of not "being good". I will guess the next step will be a nursing home and there won't be any money to fight over after those bills roll in.

Janap I'm so sorry, your story put tears in my eyes. Your poor Mother..Family often forget that the elderly parent was once a youthful thriving person and become oblivious to their aging concerns..

I have to wonder if your brother is looking to get money from your Mom's estate. It usually comes down to the almighty dollar!

My mother is suffering from Transfer trauma. She has a court appointed guardian and conservator which was the result of a personal vendetta against my sister the caregiver by my brother. Long story. Two years later, the guardian and their psychiatrist came up with a plan to come to my mothers house early in the morning to remove her from her home, take her to her doctors office (which they have never done before), have him tell her she was going to a home. My mother pleaded with them to let her go home, that she would be good, and just let her go home one more day. They proceeded to put her in an ambulance alone,where she was screaming noooooo. The guardian then decided she had better ride with my mother. They got to the Adult Foster Care where they were met by the conservator. (All three at $45 an hour mind you) They left her there. Since then my mothers condition has deteriated drastically. She doesn't eat, won't talk, is uncooperative and agitated. My sister was taking exceptional care of my mother in my mothers home, where she had a dog to hold all day and to sleep with at night. The Foster home after one week is now informing us that they cannot keep her there as she has become violent towards the staff. Our hands are tied. The Guardian/Conservator nightmare ordeal over the past 2-3 years has taken a toll on my mother and rest of the family. I can't imagine what their next "brilliant" move will be.

OK, so please tell me a little about transfer trauma. I don't know what it is. I know that I put mom in a nursing home and she died in less than a month. She was borderline at home, but once in the NH became very confused and never really came out of it. The staff said people often became confused for a couple of weeks but then would recover. Hindsight is always 20/20 but for the benefit of others it would be good to know what Transfer trauma is and how to avoid it.

yep

Anyone considering moving their loved one to a nursing home should find out about "transfer trauma" before making the decision. That includes interviewing the nursing home about how they handle the transitional period.

There is nothing sadder than watching someone go downhill fast because there was no plan in place for the transition. My heart goes out to anyone who has watched a loved one pass quickly, and hope that bringing this up will help others.

Many times people can't handle caring for them at home any longer, but no one gives them any information on what can happen - we just pat them on the back and talk about how it is for the best. I hope that there can be an honest discussion with the experts joining in on how to manage transfer trauma so that the move doesn't end up being a sad day for all.

Not everyone is the same, and not all elders bounce back and join the bridge club. Until the SW's at many nursing homes are courageous enough to bring it up, this forum should be the place to talk about the syndrome and how to avoid it.