Good afternoon everyone. Gets to the coffee store at least 3-4 times a week. However every time I pick him up it’s poor him and I ask what can we do. I would be better living on my own. Their poa is activated and he is not going to be happy anywhere. I explain how most of the people there have no visitors and never get to leave. You still have a life. I don’t know how i am going to be when I get older but I know acceptance is the key to my own happiness, but I cannot make him happy. Anyway how have you guys handled the depression and the miserable attitude. Then I was at a meeting and a girl who goes to the coffee shop every once in a while said he is so depressed. I got a little upset because she doesn’t know what is going on. I apologized but I get tired of people telling you what to do when they are not in your shoes. Then she said this couple that’s always there wants me to be happy. Actually I really and I have found balance, they haven’t talked to me in months. I feel we evolve through all of this and people saying how I am feeling when they have no idea. Sorry little vent. But curious about how to deal with depression. Thank you

Find Care & Housing
Very interesting MargaretMcKeen, because my fil did nothing for his mother. He called her Antichrist. His brother in England and his wife were there for her until she passed at 93. She did have her own place with help until she did go to a nursing house. I always go back and forth with this theory. My husband does say this where thr hell was he when we needed him. Helicopter skiing with a girl our age in Colorado. So, now that he is old we are supposed all of a sudden love him. He never once told the boys they did good he was proud of them. I get it all of a sudden you are old and people are to flock to you when you did nothing for them. When he had his speedskating accident when he was 65 my husband and I were there by his side. He was in a coma for 2 weeks and had a anoxia brain injury. We had to teach him how to do everything. He got where he could function and take care of his wife with me. However, my husband and I are the only people who help him. My husband is not as understanding with him but he does everything that has to be done. He does everything for my mother too. For example, today we were going down to cut grass and he would work on her bathroom but I am really sick so we will do it on his last day off. He said you know we should be at where should we go for the day not all of this but he will not go back on his obligations. So, that is food for thought. If a parent was mean and never there for you do you stop your life and be there or not. But he is an amazing guy and we both are ones who are caretaker. Thank you all for your help

None of us ever had an Angel looking after us – not with our rotten friends when we were teenagers, not helping us through the quagmire of decisions in our twenties, not looking after kids with difficult behaviours in our thirties, not when we got retrenched in our forties, not during the divorce whenever – basically those Angels often took a holiday. Why do the old folks think that there are going to be Angels making everything lovely for them as they age? Or that the Angels are going to help us in our turn too? It’s worth asking about the care that our elders gave to their own parents and grandparents. The Medical Angels have made our parents live longer than our grandparents and great grandparents, but they didn’t do much for us!

Thank you both. You are right enough is enough. He does have it good and when he does pout he does get what he wants. If I don’t take him to the coffee shop they feel bad for him because he is in his room and take him. Honestly, now my pancreas is acting up and I have to have a procedure done July 26 th I need to slow down a bit. Thr psin is getting bad but I still took him today. Ironically today my sponsee was with me and he was saying how great it is there. We all have to accept things in our lives but it’s our choice if we want to be miserable. I also agree that lee has to say dad this is just the way it is and you are damn lucky you have us. Oh yeah i am definitely a doggie lover. My staffy, Skye is Going to be 13 and she is demanding too. I just love you guys. Thank you for all your support and friendship.

My opinion, you have Mom, husband gets Dad.

Sorry, but you have been thru a lot of emotional ups and downs. Do not ask him what u can do, you can't do a thing. Telling him he is lucky is good. Because he is. His son needs to sit him down and say "Dad, sorry this is how it has to be. You have a nice room, 3 meals a day, people u can talk to and activities you can join in. If u choose not to, thats on you. I have to work and Staff has her Mom to care for. Your in the best place u can be. Feel lucky u still have some independence. You can't have it all ur way, life doesn't work that way"

Good Luck in getting that across. 😊

Hopefully a friend

Hi, Staff!

You have been been very understanding about Dad and how difficult it’s been for him to accept his “new life”. It’s not easy for any of us old farts to accept change. I honestly wish I had you in MY life because you are such a kind and caring person and a dog lover to boot. 😁 But, has it occurred to you that maybe Dad is putting on a show for everyone’s benefit? Saying how sad and depressed he is sure gets him attention, pats on the back and the “oh, poor little you” he wants. You can be very honest with him and tell him to knock off the drama. It’s time to stop treating him like the poor little guy he wants you to treat him as.

Love you lots. ❤️❤️❤️ Hugs!

Start a Discussion

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter