I just found this group and am looking forward to the input from others on various subjects and issues I am having.
I care for my 86 year old mother who has Stage five Dementia. She is confined to a hospital bed, on oxygen, blind and no longer has control of her extremities or can speak.
She was placed on Hospice Care the first of the year by her doctor. Her doctor sees her at least once a month and she has a nurse that sees her three times a week in the morning and a hygienist that comes three times a week in the afternoon to groom and bath her. I provide all the other necessities including making specialized dietary meals, feeding her, diaper changes etc..
I live on a cul-de-sac with only four homes and two that face into it. I know most of the neighbors as I grew up in this house, and many of them still live in the area. I am 55 and my mom is 86.
My problem. Across the street from me is Mr. and Mrs. Kravitz. A husband and wife that have lived her thirty years. They have no life other than the husband maintains a meticulous will landscaped yard. He is so anal about it he mows it on avg. three times a week and transplants new flowers every couple of weeks. The Kravitz have been a pain in the you know what since they first moved into the community. Calling code enforcement on everyone if they felt the person was meeting there expectations of maintaining the neighborhood. I could write a book on just the stuff my parents told took place over the years. The neighborhood refers to them as the Governors of the block.
They personally do not like the way our family home looks because it has no flowers in the front yard, so when they look out there windows they see grass, Oriental Box Wood hedges, a vegetable garden in one section and an off white exterior paint job, something I know they hate because they have comments to not just me but many of our neighbors. Just to show you how extreme they are, I caught the Husband trying to mow my parkway about eight weeks ago because he felt my grass was too tall. When I confronted him to stop he stood in the street and yelled at me that I was being spiteful to him and his wife. I think you get the point.
So about five weeks ago I see someone taking pictures of there yard and code violations they had on there own property. Id did not know who it was but my best guess it was someone in the area that just reached the breaking point on dealing with these two. A week later I see the City Code Enforcement office and the City manager taking pictures of the property, a trailer they had on the driveway, construction equipment etc... I had a good chuckle, but also knew that they would blame me, which is exactly what they did. I had to call LEO into the picture. (another close neighbor had to file a restraining order on these two a few years back) knowing that the situation would go south if I allowed them to confront me.
So last week I get a visit from APS. The anonymous complaint. Over medicating, abuse, and abandonment. When the lady at APS told me who she was I said, "I have been expecting you." she was stunned by the comment, so I proceeded to tell her the issue with the neighbor, and I went into great detail. She asked if she could see my mom and I allowed her in. As were discussing the medications I look at her and say, "You understand she is under Hospice Care", the surprised reaction from her was "What"? So I told her about the medical care she was receiving and told her that if there was an issue with her care anyone of the care providers would have had to report me. She realized that the call was a bogus call and apologized for the inconvenience. As she was leaving she tells me the majority of the calls they get are like this. When I asked her how they proceed with people that use the system to harass she others she said the state law ties there hands and there is nothing they can do.
So I continue to go about my routine and a few days after that visit, every time I walked down my driveway the Kravitz would click there car alarm on the driveway. I actually started videoing it. If I left to go to the store for food or meds they would click the alarm. Then it dawns on me they have a security camera hidden someplace trained on my house 24/7. That was verified when another neighbor told me earlier this week he heard they had just installed one.
Frustrated I call APS and talked to a supervisor. He tells me the same thing there is nothing they can do. Then I ask him about what constitutes abandonment. He tells me the rule of thumb they use is that if you leave the house and house in not in your view of sight that's abandonment. I ask him, if my neighbor presents a time stamped recording of my home where I am gone a couple times a week for fifteen or twenty minutes what would happen. He says we would prosecute you for abandonment.
So what's your thoughts on this?