No need for situational details, but does anyone else here feel the same?!
I didn't think peri would be a walk in the park, but due to a LOT of stuff happening/grief over various large things/ongoing stress - all over the past 3 years - plus feeling like I have to be the 'calm one' - I feel like peri for me has been totally exacerbated. Have to add I do plenty of different self help stuff, I do work on my problems, but this has been a real unbeatable bear!!!
Thanks again to this forum for existing. I don't feel I need advice on this one - just commiseration if you're out there! Blessings to all...
Seriously, I would say "yes" to your question - heck, my mathematics is "caregiving stress" + POST menopause = a perfect storm (just speaking for myself here).
Guess it depends on the individual. Going through menopause was horrible for me. Some people don’t suffer as much.
I'm sorry, what was I talking about?
I feel I've actually got a good grip on all the management stuff - exercise, diet, on a small dose pill, etc... etc...the problem is the stress/grief feels like constant fuel on the fire...I have to work so hard with all those tools just to hold it together. I'm so pooped mentally!
Should add one of the things that happened was a long term relationship ending, plus friends had to move ( too expensive here and I can't see myself sustaining here for years as well ) so there's this feeling of no safety net and no anchor.
Anyhoo excuse the rant - I'm no victim or martyr! I'm trying, but am so tired. I want to live and not just sorta exist.
Thanks a zillion for relating and I will take you guys up on that virtual drink! Even if it is red wine and causes a hot flash HA!
So anyway, I finally got my symptoms under control by losing about 20 pounds, I started using Esrto Life and Progesto Life creams (Smokey Mountain Nutrition), and CBD oil (Hempworx).
I became super slack after the holidays (go figure), neglecting to apply the cream daily, missing doses of CBD oil, not eating right. I started feeling bad so I had to get back on schedule. It took a couple weeks to get to feeling better again.
I still feel like this chapter of my life sucks, but I don't feel like I want to die.
Thankfully that was all over before mom started down the Yellow Brick Road. I was long divorced, kids were on their own, so not as much stress, but it is still stressful. I'd prefer another menopause to any care-giving. That was maybe a few months of issues, vs time spent helping mom, getting car away, hiring aides only to have her throw them out, getting everything arranged to move her, lost over a YEAR AND A HALF of my existence to clearing/cleaning/repairing her condo so we could sell it! I am the one who manages everything for mom now, just not the hands-on. It still sucks up a lot of time, so this is like a multiple year menopause!!! Meno by itself would likely be "manageable", but you add in care for others, dementia, useless and/or interfering family, etc, etc, etc, it would be like torture! You know what it is, you know it will be gone in a matter of time. Care-giving, esp with dementia, you don't know when the end will be... is that the light at the end of the tunnel or a speeding train????
RedVanAnnie says "I heard on the Today Show that today is National Caregivers Day." Oh joy, another special day when we can work our asses off!! BFD, what does celebrating THAT do for us? Send a card to us? Oooo, that would make my day better!!! Not. Happy Caregiver Day greeting? The only happy day might be if there are no incidents, no repetition, no "accidents" or mess to clean up, etc. Good lord, what's next, Happy Hangnail Day?
I know well the sleepless nights only to have to get up the next morning and perform at work. I know the stress of having to back international business trips and come back tired as hell and have to immediately get into the grain of caregiving and pray jet-lag doesn’t set in.
I went through peri and menopause both through this and I will say that forcing myself to work out 3 times a week helped me keep my health and sanity.
Of course I had always read how stress and lack of sleep resulted in weight gain but had no idea the level of impact. In the month + since my sweet, precious daddy’s passing (at 97, in his sleep and in his home like I had always promised and prayed for him), I have rediscovered uninterrupted sleep and incredible reduction in stress. And the weight is slowly coming off.
Hang in there!
i went to see my primary physician and said “I can’t stop crying, I feel so overwhelmed.”
He prescribed an antidepressant and while I am not one to take pills at the drop of a hat, they saved my sanity. After a couple of weeks I found myself coping more easily.
this may not be your solution but it worked for me.
I will also tell you that now, 7 years later, it IS a bit better. In my case, menopause was a blessing, my husband is well, my kids became more independent, and yes, my mother has declined alot but she is not the volatile person she was when she was aware of losing her memory and had the stresses of trying to hold it together. She's now in the late stages of dementia and in a nursing home, I have a migraine maybe once every couple of months, sleep is becoming my best friend and my daughters are practically adults. My mother is now a shadow of the person she once was and I miss "her" every time I visit her but I cherish the rest of time I will have with her on this earth. She thinks she's a little kid and I'm a nice lady that visits her and talks about family. Where she is now, her needs are met and life is simple. She has forgotten all the rest.
Thanks for letting me commiserate. I'm sorry you are suffering but its nice to know we aren't alone. I hope this forum reminds you of that. Namaste.
I just want to take a nap...
Sounds awfully familiar, your SO's creative almond shopping-another mis-purchase. Did he have asperger's or was he 'on the spectrum' of autism?
Okay, I'll confess: I had written "unpeeled almonds" on the list.
I.e. almonds with their skins on. Yes? Whole ones. Au naturel. Not blanched or chopped or ground or flaked. Shelled, put in a packet, and otherwise left alone.
However. Once through the info-mincer that then-SO called his brain, this item became unpeeled almonds as in almonds that had been... unpeeled. Had their peel taken off.
He could have called to ask, of course. But oh no.
So. When you are eating an item such as a banana or a carrot, do you first peel it? Or unpeel it?
I must surely be long through the menopause by now but I can feel the hysteria rising again