Any tricks to keep your mind and heart focused on YOUR life when you go home?

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Hi, everyone, I have been on this site for several years and have gotten great info concerning my 91-year-old mom with dementia. I live about 3 miles away and do about 22 hours a week of care at my mom's. She is doing OK, but I see deterioration. Also, every visit is an adventure as I'm sure many of you know. My question: When you are in this negative atmosphere, how do you flip the switch when you leave to resume your regular life/day/hopefully positive attitude. When I leave, I sometimes feel like the cartoon character literally flooring it down the street. Literally like an escape. Sometimes I feel like I figuratively have to take a shower to wash away the toxicity. Yes, I know all about the things like read, take a bubble bath. I guess I am looking for some kind of quick mental cue or switch that I can use, that takes maybe 30 seconds, and that allows me to go food shopping or exercise or whatever in my normally positive framework.

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Thanks, LibertyBlue, for the great response. I just now uploaded an app to my phone and am going to try this out.
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I have a Tibetan singing bowl at home. After a while, bathing in the vibrations became a release trigger. Now I have one on an app in my phone. Release anywhere. I set it to go off random a few times a day as an extra reminder to just breathe - through anything. A simple bell, chime, or less simple gong, church bells work great, too. All should have an app for sound.
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I am living with my husband who has Vasular Cognitive Impairment and what helps me when I want to "leave", is rereading my list of what I enjoy doing. As I read that list again and again I am reminded of that there are lots of things I like to do, and then I can usually pick out one or two things that I can do sometime in what is left of the day for me.
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I take a walk everyday by my favorite shopping center eating chocolate, and then enjoy a cigarrete. I forcé myself to think only in me and my life in that space of time. It gives me some relief everyday and it´s cheap.
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You guys!!! I just read another page of great comments. Such good ideas. Thank you for taking the time to respond. You don't know how helpful your suggestions are. Windyridge, good for you and your wife to set up your man-woman cave and exercise no matter what the weather. I am from Michigan originally (lower Michigan!) and am well familiar with the weather. Have lived in Phoenix more than half my life; I use the "It's cold" excuse not to exercise...when it goes down to 60 degrees!!! LOL. Thanks, all.
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RE: LA Fitness. Thanks, Clegdog. You make a great point. I'm making you my fitness coach!! :)
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The trick that works for me is to replace unwanted thought with wanted thoughts. For example, if some jerk cuts me off on the road and gets my bp up, I try (not always) to think of another time when a nice motorist yielded to me and gave me right of way or let me pass first.

So, maybe for a quick fix, you can keep on your phone some pictures of your children or spouse or pets, or your garden, anything that is positive and look at them when you're in the car before going home. A picture is worth a 1000 words as the saying goes. Think about what you are going to do with the people/pets/things in the pictures when you get home. Hopefully, those thoughts and images will chase away the ones you don't want at your mom's place.

Barbrooklyn- audio books are great. They take me to another place right away. My kids and I love to listen to stories when we drive around.
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Jan, my mom was in a NH 75 mikes from me. I found stopping for ice cream and sitting in the car eating it to be a "reset" for me. Also, books on tape. ((((((Hugs)))))))
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I very recently came across a tapping "trick" to ease anxiety and I've been doing it a few times a day for past couple of days. It's called Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) - Tapping Solution. Weird name, even weirder practice, but it seems to be helping me... so there's that. I also do deep breathing exercises when I need to "bring it down a notch" within my body/brain.

I tend to be a stress pot anyway, after a lifetime of anxiety-inducing situations and inundation with dysfunctional caregiving situation for past 6-7 years, and I have some lingering issues with high cortisol causing problems with my sleep, causing tension headaches, etc.

The deep breathing is a great tool because it's something you can do anywhere, anytime for on-the-spot physical state change up. I was surprised to learn about this tapping technique and it seems so... bizarre... but it does have an affect of pretty instantly calming any headaches or intense feelings I'm having. You might look it up and try it when you're ready to change states from being "ON" to turning things "OFF" for the day.
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To expand on the shoes - have a couple of sets of 'work' clothes at your mom's place change into them when you get there & back to your own clothes when you leave with the shoes - like a uniform it is left at 'work' - I'd try to wash your hands at same time & apply a nice hand lotion & fresh lipstick to 'become the home me' then leave the 'work for mom me' there
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