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I was in the middle of my menopause phase. It hit me like a lightening bolt. Here is my story. I bought 8 new windows one winter day, the cost was around $700 per window. My niece keeps reminding of that morning in the middle of winter, one of the coldest days of the year. I just climbed out of bed and the family were all sitting in the living room. I looked at the windows with a glare and said "I feel like a bear, I could bust every one of these windows" My niece said "you do not wanna do that. You think your mad now, you'll be more mad" I do not miss those days and I am happy it is over and done with. I never felt so irritated, ugly and out of control in my entire life. I was always in a bad mood. I felt sorry for my family having to put up with me during this stage of my life. The irritability was intense and just as bad as the hot flashes. If I had to do over I would go on some type of medication for menopause. I was afraid of the side effects, and having worse problems. My advice to anyone going through this stage of life, and having a difficult time. Do not suffer during this time of your life, meds, counseling, diet, natural products are options. I hope your journey through menopause is easier on you that it was on me.












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Years ago I asked my Mom how did she deal with menopause, and she said she had no problems at all.

No problems???

I remember for a time span that my Dad and I wanted to run away from home back when I was in my 20's. We couldn't wait to get out of the house to go to work in the morning [we worked for the same company thus carpooled], and were scared once we got home from work. Life was NOT pleasant. Mom was good at giving us the silent treatment for who knows what reason.
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OMgosh---
I am laughing/crying reliving my menopausal ride of the lifetime. Now I have DAUGHTERS who are in peri-menopause and THAT makes me feel so old (I'm 63!)

I, too had weird, irregular periods that basically lasted 24 days all month, every month. One Sunday, I was passing enormous CLOTS and thought "well, that's weird" and went to church, as per usual. Calling the dr the next day & I am in his office within a half hour. Turns out, you CAN bleed to death from a period!! Dr. did an endometrial ablation (basically, burning out the lining of the uterus) and had no more anything--no spotting, anything. Then lining of the uterus puts out hormones and I wasn't 'cycling through' mine & shedding the lining as I should have been, so for 4 years I was in a constant, never ending state of pre-menstrual issues. My 2nd daughter is dealing with the same exact thing, but she won't take care of it (there is almost zero downtime!)...can't make her see that it turned my life back to MY LIFE. She's miserable and I feel so bad for her.

Hot flashes still come, but many women I know have them all the time no matter what. 90 yo mother gets a look at the sun and begins to immediately drip with sweat.

Now, with chemo, I have all those same symptoms back again. Knowing it's temporary makes it deal-able, but I change from the skin out 2-3 times a night AND sleep on a towel and one on top of me nightly. Fan blowing--AC turned down to 73 and I am bright red and feel like I am heating the whole house.

OF COURSE Dh has an underactive thyroid and he is freezing all the time. Sleeps in sweatshirt and sweatpants with a small room heater.

Obviously, we don't share a room. His is about 85 degrees, mine is about 75, if I am lucky.
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My biggest memory was showering in the middle of the night. Night sweats, so gross! Of course, grumpiness!
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AlvaDeer, I wanted to break all the new windows, but I am glad I didn't. I should have explained better. It must have been a very difficult time of your life, and I am glad you beat the breast cancer. Good to see your posts.
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Tothill, when I started having all these symptoms I thought it might be thyroid issues because I was incredibly fatigued all the time and all of a sudden I started gaining weight despite exercising regularly. I struggle to lose weight now. I’m probably up about 10lbs and can’t lose it, even if I really restrict my eating and hit the gym 5 days a week, the weight stays on. It’s only been recently that I thought it might be early menopause because of the other symptoms that keep popping up!

Lealonnie, thank you for sharing your experience. This is something no one tells us about, no one tells us islts possible this could happen! I would have never expected periomenopause or early menopause at this age! Truth be told, the only reason I even suspected this could be menopause related is because a friend who is in her early 50s has been going through menopause and she describes it like everyone here! Said she felt like a crazy lady and not at all like herself. She had no idea it was menopause until she went for her annual exam and the doctor called her after getting her bloodwork back! I will do some googling and see what supplements people recommend. If my insurance will pay for an annual exam before October, I’ll try to get an appointment ASAP.
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I used to say Aunt Flow isn't visiting anymore. Thank Goodness. But frankly I kind of miss her now. Aunt Hot Flash isn't nearly as nice.
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Worried......I was violently thrust into peri-menopause at 37 years old and experienced all the symptoms you mentioned in your TMI post! I also had terrible grinding pain every month when I ovulated. The peri-menopause lasted for a couple of years (it came on after I'd had my daughter) and I took a couple of different supplements.... I want to say St John's Wort but I can't remember for sure. I didn't start menopause until around 55. Definitely go see your OBGYN and have her prescribe something! I took LoLoEstrin 1/50 which made a huge difference.......I started taking it prior to actual menopause, in response to the misery of peri-menopause, but later on, not at 37. When I went off of it, my period had already stopped without my knowledge, so actual menopause was a breeze.
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Worried, at age 38, you could be perimenopausal but those symptoms could have other caused. Thinking of thyroid problems.

Please don’t wait until October to get checked out.

A friend of mine had twins, her 40th birthday and menopause started all the same year. Another woman I know started at 36. She was trying to get pregnant and learned it was too late.
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Margaret, I haven’t been checked for endometriosis. I don’t have any symptoms but I know that that doesn’t mean it’s not present. I have a girlfriend that was recently diagnosed and she had no symptoms. My mom had it pretty bad too.....I would think I would have the same symptoms she did if I had it.
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Oh, Lordy. The busted windows. My mind trying to do the math on how many windows at WHAT price! Eeeeeks!
For me menopause hit secondarily to the chemo from a lovely bout with breast cancer, age 47. Because the chemo was so nasty I couldn't figure if it was the chemo or the menopause. I found the hot flashes only "interesting" but because life seemed so precious at the time, everything went from "awful" to "interesting", even my daughters fighting like cats and dogs. I would stop weeding in the garden and listen up two stories to the flat and say "They are fighting. Isn't it lovely." And honestly, it was. It was all just fine.
I couldn't take meds, of course, as they feed cancers. So I toughed it out. Compared to cancer the menopause just didn't get any cred at all.
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Has anyone seen ‘Menopause the Musical’? It was hilarious, from ‘You Give Me Fever’ onwards. It’s amazing how many songs work with hot flushes. My husband came with me, after much persuasion, and even he thought it was great. Perhaps I should look for a DVD. No, I've just found some YouTube snippets. Not as much fun as the real things, but still fun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndFBFXV3jjs
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I had 2 years of extreme hot flashes. It was terrible. I would dress for work, do my makeup and hair and by the time I got out of the house I was a total wet, soaked, miserable woman.

Anyone have memory loss as a symptom? Many, many times I couldn’t remember things. I got in the habit of writing lists for myself (which I continue to do). My girlfriends too had STM loss on and off.

Two years of those night sweats. I remember waking up drenched and then you get up to change and you get that awful chill from wet clothes. Rinse and repeat.

I had a partial hysterectomy this had menopause in my 50’s. Kept my ovaries.

And Margaret, you are correct. I had really bad periods prior to my hysterectomy. But I had endometriosis that no one was aware of until after surgery. My periods were so heavy I almost passed out at work and had to go lie down in the break room. My pre-op hematocrit was 7 (normal > 10).

Menopause was terrible for me. I did not get irritable thank goodness. Just forgetful.

Now occasionally I get a hot flash or wake up in a sweat although I have noticed my night sweats now have more to do with how much stress I have usually work related. I can’t wait to retire.
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My funniest experience was a work meeting with three other women from different agencies, all about my age and all called Margaret. It was a common birth name here around the late 1940s. Part way through the meeting, a young woman came in from reception and said “It’s boiling in here, don’t you want the heating lowered?” We all immediately said Yes – no-one had been game to let on earlier, in case it was just the dreaded hot flash again. It was a memorable meeting!
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Tothill and Worried, have you been checked for endometriosis? It sounds a lot like mine (pain, clots, flooding etc), and it is under-diagnosed. Eventually I had to have a hysterectomy because it was getting out of control, and the intern who came to see me afterwards said the biggest growth was the size of an orange, and they found so many that they stopped counting them. Yes I did crash into hot flushes because of the hysterectomy, but it was still a relief.
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OMG the same thing happened to my aunt! Not the white pants but she had her last period when her dad (my grandpa) died.
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Thank you for sharing Tothill! That sounds awful! TMI ahead.......






I have not experienced any of that (yet) except the painful ovulation. I always know when I ovulate because I get horrendous pain in my ovary area, if I don’t take an Advil it lasts for hours. And it hits very suddenly and is crippling. I have not met anyone else who experienced that until now!!! I did have periods like you describe but the culprit was a copper IUD! So I had it taken out.
I been having some symptoms that made me wonder if I wasn’t entering perimenopause or early menopause. my periods are only 2 days long now. Definitely not complaining about that. But concerned about it. From what I have read, it’s common as you get older (I am 38) but I see no relation or correlation to my other symptoms. For months I have felt similar to what most of you ladies have described-moods all over the place-everything from wanting to cry one minute and feeling a rage of anger the next! Then I feel very happy. No hot flashes like you all described but I do get minor hot flashes, feels like a fever has just come on. I also run warmer these days. I used to be cold all the time & sleep in sweats & use multiple blankets. I now sleep in light PJs with one blanket. Used to love having the dog cuddle with me for the extra warmth. Now, I get way too hot, Uncomfortably hot, if he’s too close (yes he sleeps with me). My annual exam is in October and I’ll get a full blood panel done so hopefully that will shed some light here. Don’t think it’s menopause related after all.

i hope I don’t sound crazy but my other theory was that the moods are related to loss of my cat, he died in April 2018. This is the first time in almost 30 years that I don’t have a cat of my own (the one in my profile picture is my 11 year old daughters cat, she shares him with me & I love him dearly but I don’t have the same bond with him that I had with my other cats). My cats provided so much emotional support through out the years. Either I never realized just how much their emotional support helped me, or my hormones are all out of wack :-)
this doesn’t the hot flashes and running warmer though.
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I actually had my final period the afternoon of my Mom's funeral service. Sort of an end to everything you could say. It was horrible. It was Spring and my periods had been sporadic for a while. I wore white pants and it was a super heavy flow.

Yes.......................I know. :(
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I am taking hormone replacement. My hubs was thinking of getting a t-shirt that read "What did I do now?"

I'm still going through it though and the hormones don't always help. Some days I feel like a volcano. Crying one minute, laughing hysterically the next. Didn't they used to commit women back in the day when they were going through this. So glad they don't anymore or I'd possibly be in a rubber room.

Working out helps. When I'm on the treadmill I watch all the macho men grunting and slamming their weights down and I glare at them. Why are they so dramatic about it all. The women don't make noises and slam things. I find the passive aggressive glaring really helps me. :)
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You all take me back,
When I was in my 20's I had a total hysterectomy.
Oh the hot flashes, and night sweats.
I remember my head feeling like it was on fire.
Horrible horrible time in life.
I feel for any going through it.
But glad that is over.
It was almost like puberty all over again with the emotions.
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I had the opposite. A bit graphic, scroll down if you want the details.




My periods became so much more heavy, I was passing thumb sized clots and flooding. Yes, flooding means flooding. I would feel it start and have to bolt for the toilet. I had to wear overnight maxi pads and extra absorbent tampons and still woudl flood. I had to keep a change of clothes at work. They stayed 28 days apart.

The when I ovulated the pain was excruciating. It wrapped from my belly button to my anus. The pain was crippling and in a good month lasted 30 minutes and in a bad one lasted 24 hours.

I went to my doctor and told him I wanted it all ripped out. Instead I got a Mirena UID and within 3 months life was bearable again. They last for 5 years, and I am 2 years into my second one. No cycle anymore.

I do get night sweats fairly regularly, as someone else said from the under breast to the top of my head. My hair will be soaked. Hot flashes are rare, but come more frequently.

Lack of sleep is another issue.

Luckily so far not bad for brain fog.
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Did any of you experience your periods becoming much shorter before menopause? And if so, how soon after the shorter periods began, did you start menopause?
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The night sweats were the worst thing ever. I'd wake up drenched at least 4 or 5 times every night, with the sheets soaking wet and my skin on fire. The hot flashes started under my bra and shot upwards like ROCKETS thru the top of my head. Over and over. Then over again. The mood swings were Jekyll and Hyde-like too, a very ugly experience entirely. I finally went to my OB-GYN and she put me on some low dose birth control pills, which shut down the symptoms in short order.
Freqflyer......I would have agreed to taking ARSENIC if I thought it would give me relief from those awful symptoms....lol.
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I, too, was surgically thrown into menopause, only my bladder was punctured so they couldn't give me anything for 6 months because of the damage and needing to be able to track everything without any medication, whew! Talk about fire in the belly, hot flashes are not for the weak at heart. That was my biggest challenge. After 6 months my doctor said I could get some meds and I refused because I would have to go through it all again when I stopped the meds, no thank you, once is one time to much.
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earlybird, I can remember the very first hot flash I had. I was in the hospital after having a total hysterectomy, the very next day there was that flash. It scared me big time. Anyhoo, that darn change of life thingee was part of my life for over ten years.

Yes, I tried hormone replacement and was on it for only six months. I was reading too many thing that could go wrong using such a replacement. Even soy beans were a no as they mimic hormones. So I just dealt with it the best I could.

My moods were all over the place. I wanted the house to be in sub-zero temps. Sleeping wasn't easy as the bed felt like an oven. I did find having a small portable fan blowing across the bed did help :)

And don't get me started on the weight gain..... grrrrrr !!!
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