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Yes. My mom is a 'real mother' if you get my drift. She is angry that my husband didn't die of cancer a few years ago and her boyfriend did 15 yrs ago. Oh well. She never was that nice anyway.
My MIL is okay but a bit bizarre with her Dementia. I got her a card and we had a supper together a few nights ago. She may recall getting the card or not...I don't know.
Mother's Day is for me a day I can go do something I enjoy like gardening or hiking.
I don't have TV so can't see all of the ads ... thank goodness!
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This holiday is so forced on us all. Advertisers run rough shod over people's feelings just to make a buck. I lost my Mom 2 years ago after a rough decline and I miss her very much. This time of year hurts the worst. A double whammy is that I don't have kids and this just reminds me of that. Then after years of not getting along with MIL I now get along with her since my husband's sister died from misadventure last year, and all MIL wants for Mother's Day is for hubby and I to take her to the cemetery where her daughter and other relatives are buried. This makes me depressed and missing my Mom all the more. I will be so very glad this day is over!!
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ya i kinda know what you mean well i am going to give my mom a gift anyway later today & i am going to take my dog to to put it around her where she is there is nothing wrong to make the best for it maybe you should spend a lot of time with your kids next year plan something good that will make you happy give that a try .or maybe got to a bed & breakfast home for it & go somewhere you want to go i am sure your mom wants the best for you .so do that you need the attention now you are head mom of your family ..go for it later good luck
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No, Daughter, you are not alone. Although my mother is still living, and I am a mother/grandmother myself, I have come to loathe the day. As you pointed out, the holiday has just become a big day for the merchants and restaurants. I feel the same way about Valentine's Day. Instead of that one day we call Mother's Day, what really matters are all the other "nothing" days. I tell my children not to go out and buy me a gift or take me out to lunch because it's Mother's Day....just be nice to me every day! I tell them not to spend their money on me (they are trying to save for a house), but if they see a little trinket that reminds them of me, give it to me on a nothing Tuesday in October; that would mean so much more to me than any gift on Mother's Day! Come and see me on a nothing day! Call or text me on a nothing day! A holiday loses all meaning when it feels like it is forced upon you, and you are expected to oblige. Sadly, so many of our holidays have become that way.
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My mother is very cruel; I ignore mothers' day.
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I used to enjoy it with mom. Taking her to tea, lunch or whatever but now that my father passed her grief has turned into hate for me. I am her caregiver but she's in denial that she needs one. Medication induced dementia is only making it worse. She now treats me like I don't exist and has made plans to be with other people. I'm now the bad parent while my brother that lives 6 hours away gets to be the fun good parent. I don't have children or a husband so I can't distract myself with my own family. Stupid commercials saying to honor your mother kill me. If I engage she rages. Yes, my sister, I am right there with you. I hate mother's day season.
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No - but the first Mother's Day after Mom passed on 2004 was very difficult for me.

I think the only holiday I hate is Christmas - but not all of Christmas. We cut out the part we didn't like, the gift giving. I like the rest of the holiday.
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I only hate Mothers Day, because I feel like I am responsible for making up for all the MIA children. Lots of pressure. I love my Mom and try and give her Mothers Day everyday. but just that one day a year, its like your supposed to do extra special. But, I always try and do extra special everyday, i aint got nothing else on that day.
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Just another day like any Holiday
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Thanks to all who’ve replied, it makes me feel better to know I’m not alone in this. One of the first things I learned after joining agingcare was that I needed to adjust my views on mother relationships. I had a wonderful mom, always enjoyed doing things with her, always had her support. But I learned here that not everyone had that, many had less than great parenting, moms that were selfish, narcissistic, mean, all kinds of situations. I had to refrain from judging other relationships and realize there are all kinds of complexities people deal with. I’m thankful for the knowledge gained. Mother’s Day and the weeks proceeding it feels like a barrage to me, reminding me relentlessly of what I no longer have, the grandmother my kids missed out on, there is so much insensitivity that comes with it that it’s just tiresome. I’m glad each year when it’s over
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It just seems to come and go. Getting presents is a hit and miss. I did give something to my Mom. A card usually and a day out with lunch or dinner. My brothers...maybe a card and that's if my SILs remembered. Made my Dad mad. My Mom stayed home to raise four kids. Dad came first, the kids then her. Because of the times, she waited on her "boys" hand and foot. She never "depended" on them like she did me and because of that, I Don't think they had a clue. I can see why people hate the day. Think it is all commercialized. My Church did the same thing. Gave out flowers and had little games. Oldest Mother, youngest. I felt for those who couldn't have children and those who lost children. I can sympathize with all your feelings.
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I enjoy spending the day with my kids, but in some ways Mother's Day has always made me a little sad because I've always felt like mine and my mom's roles have been reversed. I grew up at a young age, and felt like I didn't have a "mom" figure. Instead I've always been the one she has leaned on. I was never able to call her for advice about parenting, marriage, finances, etc. She always turned the conversation to her and her problems and I would end up consoling her. She lives with us at the moment, and I do take care of her the best I can, but it's not the typical mother-daughter relationship. Instead it's like having another child. I will say that my experience helps me to be a better mom in the sense that I want my kids to always know that I'm here for them and have their back, and don't ever want to be a burden. I'm grateful for Mother's Day in that sense that I'm grateful for them, but in the other it's kind of depressing.
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Yes. Hate it. First, my mom with dementia is still here but not able to enjoy the things she loved like brunch with the larger family, opening gifts, and being doted on. In my 52 years, I've never missed one Mother's Day's day with her because I knew it meant so much... although I hated the forced obligation and I'm actually very good to my mom every day since I got out of my teen years.
I really loathed it after I lost 2 pregnancies and was unable to actually be a mother myself. All you see are these smiling vapid faces around you as you sit there in pain and mourning. No thanks.
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I fully flat out HATE mother's Day. I'd rather leave town for the day, or crawl under the covers and hide or spend the day shoving bamboo sticks under my nails....it's gotten to be worse than Christmas, IMHO.

I love my kids, they love me. I DON'T need a day to guilt them into doing something nice.

I know this comes from my mother and her incredible anger all day long every Mother's Day. We always fell short in her eyes.

Yeah, I need to get over this.
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My mother passed away on April 30 7 years ago. My sister who did not raise any children, the executor, arranged for the memorial service 1 week later (which happened to be SIL's birthday) and then the internment 2 weeks later, which happened to be Mother's Day. So my feelings are mixed. I don't like the commercial aspect at all, but my best friend's mom LOVES the day so we celebrate her at 91 this year!
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Yeah, Mother's Day. I'm trying to figure out how little I can get away with doing for my mother. She hasn't been to my house since Christmas 2016 (she told me she didn't want to come over anymore, so I haven't invited her.)

It seems so false to get her a card. She loves to put them on her table, though. Funny thing is the brother who hasn't seen her now in 16 months (once went FIVE years!!!) doesn't even send her cards for Mother's Day or her birthday. My mother says, "He's too busy!" How nice...wonder if *I* could get away with that? Maybe I'll try it this year. Just give her a quick call on Mother's Day, just like he does.

My kids don't do much on Mother's Day, but I do get cards and small gifts.
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I've always hated Mother's Day. As did MY mom, who died this past August.

I've always tried to make Mother's Day about the folks in my family who are actively mothering, i.e., the ones who have little kids. Taking the babies off their hands for the day so they can get some rest, have adult time with spouse, etc.

When I feel rotten, I've always found that the solution is to find someone to help. You might consider finding a young, overwhelmed mom to assist on Mother's Day. Alternately, visit a local care facility and find an elderly mom who has no visitors.
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