Any Mother’s Day haters out there besides me?

Daughterof1930, no, you are not alone. Mother's Day is ROUGH, when we are missing our Mom's. This time of year, is esp hard, as my Mom's birthday is March 3rd, she passed away on April 10th, we celebrated her life, with a service on April 25th & now....today is Mother's Day. An incredible tough time of year. I used to love spring...now its' just another reminder that my precious Momma is gone. It's been 3 years but it still hurts, like it was yesterday. I'm selfish because she is MUCH better off, in Heaven, as she was in a lot of pain, for many years (she never really let on). Cancer got her & she went peacefully but that doesn't mean, I don't miss her every day. So no, daughterof1930, you are definitely NOT alone.

She1934, you offer a good perspective. Thank you for giving me something (other than my frustration!) to consider.

I LOVE this day because I get out of cooking dinner and there are other perks but not having to cook - priceless...

I don't really care for any of the holidays (especially Christmas), but at least my mother appreciates a card, and I made a point of getting back home a day early to visit with her and give her this card. As she is bedridden in a nursing home at 93 y/o (with memory issues and very hard of hearing), she doesn't have much else to give her pleasure.

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day have always been hard for me, since I had neither. I try not to think about it very much but on the day it is hard to avoid. Sometimes wistful about what could have been and sad for what I missed. I’m glad that so many people had healthy parents but it wasn’t meant for me in this lifetime I guess, so have tried to learn what I can about parenting and healthy relationships. I don’t like to be negative so will avoid too much self pity, but it is easy to go there. Do what you need for yourself and be grateful what you do have.

I lost my mom on 12-6-2016 and so this will be my 2nd Mother’s Day without her. This day is definitely adding salt to the wound for me. I’m still grieving over my mom’s death and my world seems so empty and meaningless without her.

My mom died on Mother's Day in 1989. She had ovarian cancer that had spread. I visited her in the hospital the night before and intended to see her again on Mother's Day, but she passed on before any family could get to her. I assumed she wanted it that way. I assured her the night before that we would be looking out for Dad, so she shouldn't worry about this. But, I do NOT hate mother's day. I am so grateful for the love and wisdom she had and the care she gave to me. I celebrate her memory and pray for her soul to grow closer to God. Yes, some tears still come when I am praying for her, but they are not tears of sadness, just love.

She loved lilacs and they were blooming when she died, so they were part of her funeral flowers and in the coffin with her. Lilacs bring back her remembrance, too. When I visited the farm in Sweden in 2011 that her grandfather came from, there were lilacs blooming there, too. I knew she would have loved to make such a visit and I assume she was with me in spirit. The love of lilacs is part of my heritage now. I know in heaven that the beauty she sees and is part of far exceeds anything we have here on earth, so I don't wish her back. Why take her from such a place to be here? I just join her in spirit in thought and prayer instead and look forward to joining her when my time comes. I hope some of this perspective may help others dealing with such loss.

May is particularly rough here. Not only does Mother’s Day roll around, but Mama’s Birthday was the 6th and she passed away on the 8th. We just get through the month and we’re glad when it’s over.

My mother has been gone for 34 years now, but I always tried to remember her with a card and gift. We were very close before I reached puberty, but after that I grew away from her somewhat as I guess many girls do. I wouldn't have won any awards for Mother of the Year, but I usually get some acknowledgement from my two children in form of card or book. My son is married with two kids, so the main mother in his life is the mother of his children, as it should be. My daughter rarely comes to visit, but she sends presents on all occasions. So I don't mind Mother's day. Christmas is the one I wish would go away. ..lots of bad memories there.

I’ve always thought if you can’t treat your mom well the other 364, why bother on one particular day?

My wonderful son is coming over this afternoon, bringing homemade hamburgers with all the fixings, including beer and charcoal to grill. He will notice but wont say a word about my toxic house which has gotten that way because I am sole caregiver for his dad.

My daughter? My firstborn? No card. No text. No call. Not even a generic post on my Facebook page. But she will suddenly remember my phone number when she needs someone to pick up her kids at school.

So that’s the way it goes here. Oh, and I started the day with tears because my own mom has been gone for 18 months.

I, too, used to be uncomfortable with the church recognition. I have no kids except step-kids that I've never been close to. When they pass out Mothers Day gifts and want to include me, I feel like I'm cheating. Our church today just played a short video clip thanking moms for all they do, and I'm fine with that.
I don't hate the day. I have fond memories of my mom and the life she gave me.
But, I wish everyone wouldn't assume that because I'm female I must be a mom.
And, I hate to see the guilt my step-kids' mom lays on them to pamper and cater to her on every occasion she can use for that. I know when her son calls to tell me happy mothers day, he means it. When he visits her with gifts, it's just an unwanted obligation.

Yeah I hate mother’s day since Dementia my real mother’s gone & evil demon took over her body...I cannot count the number of times she hit, punched & cursed me just today alone. I’m stuck at home waiting for her to poop since she didn’t go since Thursday. We used to go out & plan & celebrate but now there’s nothing to celebrate except if she poops😡😩😢

I don’t like it as the mother or the daughter. It’s too commercialized. Same for most holidays.

To all you Mother's Day Haters out there - just find something you like to do and do it. Jump on your bike and ride, take a nice Sunday Drive out in the country, head for your favorite fast food place and have a time there, park yourself in front of the TV and watch your favorite shows, put a good CD on your stereo and crank it up. My mother died 10 years ago; I never married and never had children; I was unable to do so. How about hiking up to the top of a hill nearby, and treat yourself to an energy drink and a candy bar when you come down from the hill. Don't forget to put on your back pack and a roll of toilet paper in there should nature call

One way to cope with it is to gather the family and spend a special day celebrating the best of your mom`s life. It`s a good way to bring family together and find comfort.

Today is my first Mother's Day without my mom. I miss her. I never had kids so it makes me feel left out of the experience. I don't hate it though and for me it's a reminder of how wonderful and loving my mom and dad, too, were. Just miss buying cards and a gift. I feel sad for my cousin who lost her only son several years ago. I'm sure many moms and dads who loose their only child are affected every time these special days come around. How about kids who grew up without a parent(s). We are a capitalistic country. I know it started s someone's idea for loving someone. Just look at it as someone giving someone special a gift. Most everyone likes to be able to give

My mother was diagnosed at 46 with Alzheimer’s and it progressed rapidly. Rapidly to the point where a year later she didn’t know who i was. I could selfishly hate Mother’s Day as well but because i have a mother i won’t. Same to you . I’m sure your hurt and so am i. Often times we have dig deep and find the root of our hatred and deal with it accordingly. You have a Mother be grateful. Hope this helps 😘

I have hated mother's day since I lost my mother when i was 15. Never lucky enough to have any children of my own either. I went to church today and they were handing out roses to all the moms. I took one for my cats.

I beg to differ and I don't mind being the anomaly. Celebrate mothers, stepmoms, godmoms, grandmoms and mother-in-laws!

CaregiverL: "Yeah I hate mother’s day since Dementia my real mother’s gone & evil demon took over her body...I cannot count the number of times she hit, punched & cursed me just today alone." 

Hitting and punching is physical abuse. Is there nothing to be done about this? I am so, so sorry that this is what your life has become!

(Is there NO alternative? Sounds like she she needs a meds overhaul at the very least. Do you ever get respite? Is there anyone else in your family --- SIBS? -- who help out at all? Don't you think she merits placement in a facility?)

Mothers Day is better titled ‘Retailers Day Number Three’. Retailers here are pushing Valentines Day and Fathers Day up into the league, with valiant attempts at Halloween (when here in Australia it’s spring and pumpkins are out of season). At least Australia doesn’t have Thanksgiving (again, it’s spring, which rather misses the point).

A phone call or an email is quite good enough for Mothers Day, and it does give children a chance to pick a card and make a scribble for Mum and Grandma even if they can’t write very well. It’s quite nice to get a letter in the post with a stamp, that isn’t a bill or a beg.

There is absolutely nothing in the Bible about Mothers Day. Try to avoid shopping and Church for a fortnight, and you can miss the worst of it. My husband and I even manage to dodge most of the Olympics, proving that we have practised building up avoidance skills!

I can certainly understand the feelings you describe, Daughterof1930. I wouldn't say I hate it but I certainly find it a painful day. I had a very dysfunctional relationship with my mother but felt that I 'ought' to buy a gift and a card for her. Choosing a card for her was always an unpleasant experience because most of the messages in the card made me all the more aware that I didn't feel the same love for her. I have two daughters and one is mentally and physically handicapped, who long ago chose to become estranged from me. The second one lives a long way from me and our contact is through infrequent phone calls but regular contact on Facebook. We both regret that we are not close enough to visit. She can't afford to come to me often with her family of 7 children, 4 of whom are still at home. I can't go to her as my husband has severe emphysema and suffered a stroke in 2010. I am his carer. When my daughter called to wish me Happy Mother's Day, she was in tears because her children had not made her feel loved and valued. Like Christmas and birthdays, it is another occasion when we feel that we are not experiencing the great joy that somehow we are 'supposed' to.

I feel you.. I am not liking the insensitivity. It's been 1 year 8 months since our mom has past. I have been pushing myself into trying to do normal things. Working full time plus has kept me super busy. Sometimes, I feel better, other times it's like, I could have stayed home or did something else. So today, Sunday, Mother's day, I went to church. Message... totally about mother's duties... then pastor calls all children/adults included to come to the altar with their mothers for prayer. Tearing up!!! To me so insensitive. There are several people who have lost their mothers recently. There are grandmothers, aunts, godmothers, foster moms, women and even men (alone) who are raising children these days. No acknowledgement, empathy, or sympathy. No prayers offered to those who have lost their mothers, either. There have been better messages and services in the past. I've always try to look for the positive in things, but... this hurts. Oh, I miss my mom so much - the shopping, outings, etc... My mom was soooo appreciative.. the memories are comforting. A few people gave me a hug after service which was comforting. I did reach out to a few people during the day to say Happy Mother's Day... even though painful. Last year (the 1st year without mom), I gave out flowers, cards, and candy... You would not believe the coldness from close family members. So, this year I did not go out my way to them. But hopefully, next year I can get back on track and touch those who I know will appreciate some kindness. I am like show kindness everyday, not just on Mother's day or a special day. Be appreciative of others everyday, not just special moments. Next year, I may stay home or do something more up lifting. I don't like being in a funk...

I went to church last night and it was a tad over the top Mother's Day-centric as well. I have no problem with the sentiment of appreciating mothers but at our church it was part of opening greeting, sermon, one song, and of course the ol' all mothers stand up, with a gift giveway to a mother/kid combo who agreed to participate in a (admittedly cute) game show-type segment. 

To be fair, this church is generally very thoughtful in its approach to things and there were acknowledgements of infertility, not everyone can be parents, dads are important too, yada yada but still the whole theme of the service was Mother's Day, a holiday which isn't mentioned in the Bible and that Jesus seems not to have celebrated, as best as I can tell.

Maybe most of the people in churches these days like all this razzamatazz? Is that it? When I looked around the church while mothers were standing up to be acknowledged, there were a lot of stoic, hard-to-read expressions on people's faces....

thought I had to share. I went to WalMart to pick up a few things and it was packed with women, women with kids etc. So much for Mother's Day.

The event is wearing especially since it often involves persons with health issues (who refuse to wear their hearing aides and instead keep them in a drawer).

I grew up in the UK so there was no such thing as Mother's Day. We did however have Mothering Sunday which was one of the Sundays during Lent. We kids went to church on the Saturday prior haveing picked wild flowers mostly primroses which grew wild on the banks beside the roads in those days. We each made up little posies for our Mums and took them home. There was absolutely no commercialism in those days. Gifts were not given or expected.
These days our eldest daughter has always sent flowers haveing been mostly raised in the US and this year invited us to a lovely lunch at her house as we now live nearby. I just feel so blessed.

I've always hated Mother's Day! The first year after Mom died my one sister who lives out of town phoned me and said "I figured you would be feeling sad today" I replied, to be honest, this day means nothing to me. Every day was Mother's Day to me when Mom was alive. I still feel that way. The same with Valentine's Day. You see all these men walking down the street clutching flowers thinking they are so great cause they are acknowledging the day. When I get flowers just because, I appreciate them a lot more cause it's a surprise and unexpected. Same with Mother's day. To all of you who still have your Mom, take her out for lunch or dinner out of the blue one day and watch her face light up.

Veronica, love your story about Mothering Day.

I’ve always disliked Mother’s Day because my mother doesn’t have a maternal instinct in her dna. She’s unappreciative of flowers or gifts no matter the occasion....she’s broken and has ptsd from the war. I feel sorry for her