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My mother was diagnosed at 46 with Alzheimer’s and it progressed rapidly. Rapidly to the point where a year later she didn’t know who i was. I could selfishly hate Mother’s Day as well but because i have a mother i won’t. Same to you . I’m sure your hurt and so am i. Often times we have dig deep and find the root of our hatred and deal with it accordingly. You have a Mother be grateful. Hope this helps 😘
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Today is my first Mother's Day without my mom. I miss her. I never had kids so it makes me feel left out of the experience. I don't hate it though and for me it's a reminder of how wonderful and loving my mom and dad, too, were. Just miss buying cards and a gift. I feel sad for my cousin who lost her only son several years ago. I'm sure many moms and dads who loose their only child are affected every time these special days come around. How about kids who grew up without a parent(s). We are a capitalistic country. I know it started s someone's idea for loving someone. Just look at it as someone giving someone special a gift. Most everyone likes to be able to give
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One way to cope with it is to gather the family and spend a special day celebrating the best of your mom`s life. It`s a good way to bring family together and find comfort.
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To all you Mother's Day Haters out there - just find something you like to do and do it. Jump on your bike and ride, take a nice Sunday Drive out in the country, head for your favorite fast food place and have a time there, park yourself in front of the TV and watch your favorite shows, put a good CD on your stereo and crank it up. My mother died 10 years ago; I never married and never had children; I was unable to do so. How about hiking up to the top of a hill nearby, and treat yourself to an energy drink and a candy bar when you come down from the hill. Don't forget to put on your back pack and a roll of toilet paper in there should nature call
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I don’t like it as the mother or the daughter. It’s too commercialized. Same for most holidays.
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Yeah I hate mother’s day since Dementia my real mother’s gone & evil demon took over her body...I cannot count the number of times she hit, punched & cursed me just today alone. I’m stuck at home waiting for her to poop since she didn’t go since Thursday. We used to go out & plan & celebrate but now there’s nothing to celebrate except if she poops😡😩😢
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I, too, used to be uncomfortable with the church recognition. I have no kids except step-kids that I've never been close to. When they pass out Mothers Day gifts and want to include me, I feel like I'm cheating. Our church today just played a short video clip thanking moms for all they do, and I'm fine with that.
I don't hate the day. I have fond memories of my mom and the life she gave me.
But, I wish everyone wouldn't assume that because I'm female I must be a mom.
And, I hate to see the guilt my step-kids' mom lays on them to pamper and cater to her on every occasion she can use for that. I know when her son calls to tell me happy mothers day, he means it. When he visits her with gifts, it's just an unwanted obligation.
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I’ve always thought if you can’t treat your mom well the other 364, why bother on one particular day?

My wonderful son is coming over this afternoon, bringing homemade hamburgers with all the fixings, including beer and charcoal to grill. He will notice but wont say a word about my toxic house which has gotten that way because I am sole caregiver for his dad.

My daughter? My firstborn? No card. No text. No call. Not even a generic post on my Facebook page. But she will suddenly remember my phone number when she needs someone to pick up her kids at school.

So that’s the way it goes here. Oh, and I started the day with tears because my own mom has been gone for 18 months.
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My mother has been gone for 34 years now, but I always tried to remember her with a card and gift. We were very close before I reached puberty, but after that I grew away from her somewhat as I guess many girls do. I wouldn't have won any awards for Mother of the Year, but I usually get some acknowledgement from my two children in form of card or book. My son is married with two kids, so the main mother in his life is the mother of his children, as it should be. My daughter rarely comes to visit, but she sends presents on all occasions. So I don't mind Mother's day. Christmas is the one I wish would go away. ..lots of bad memories there.
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May is particularly rough here. Not only does Mother’s Day roll around, but Mama’s Birthday was the 6th and she passed away on the 8th. We just get through the month and we’re glad when it’s over.
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My mom died on Mother's Day in 1989. She had ovarian cancer that had spread. I visited her in the hospital the night before and intended to see her again on Mother's Day, but she passed on before any family could get to her. I assumed she wanted it that way. I assured her the night before that we would be looking out for Dad, so she shouldn't worry about this. But, I do NOT hate mother's day. I am so grateful for the love and wisdom she had and the care she gave to me. I celebrate her memory and pray for her soul to grow closer to God. Yes, some tears still come when I am praying for her, but they are not tears of sadness, just love.

She loved lilacs and they were blooming when she died, so they were part of her funeral flowers and in the coffin with her. Lilacs bring back her remembrance, too. When I visited the farm in Sweden in 2011 that her grandfather came from, there were lilacs blooming there, too. I knew she would have loved to make such a visit and I assume she was with me in spirit. The love of lilacs is part of my heritage now. I know in heaven that the beauty she sees and is part of far exceeds anything we have here on earth, so I don't wish her back. Why take her from such a place to be here? I just join her in spirit in thought and prayer instead and look forward to joining her when my time comes. I hope some of this perspective may help others dealing with such loss.
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I lost my mom on 12-6-2016 and so this will be my 2nd Mother’s Day without her. This day is definitely adding salt to the wound for me. I’m still grieving over my mom’s death and my world seems so empty and meaningless without her.
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Mother’s Day and Father’s Day have always been hard for me, since I had neither. I try not to think about it very much but on the day it is hard to avoid. Sometimes wistful about what could have been and sad for what I missed. I’m glad that so many people had healthy parents but it wasn’t meant for me in this lifetime I guess, so have tried to learn what I can about parenting and healthy relationships. I don’t like to be negative so will avoid too much self pity, but it is easy to go there. Do what you need for yourself and be grateful what you do have.
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I don't really care for any of the holidays (especially Christmas), but at least my mother appreciates a card, and I made a point of getting back home a day early to visit with her and give her this card. As she is bedridden in a nursing home at 93 y/o (with memory issues and very hard of hearing), she doesn't have much else to give her pleasure.
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I LOVE this day because I get out of cooking dinner and there are other perks but not having to cook - priceless...
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She1934, you offer a good perspective. Thank you for giving me something (other than my frustration!) to consider.
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Daughterof1930, no, you are not alone. Mother's Day is ROUGH, when we are missing our Mom's. This time of year, is esp hard, as my Mom's birthday is March 3rd, she passed away on April 10th, we celebrated her life, with a service on April 25th & now....today is Mother's Day. An incredible tough time of year. I used to love spring...now its' just another reminder that my precious Momma is gone. It's been 3 years but it still hurts, like it was yesterday. I'm selfish because she is MUCH better off, in Heaven, as she was in a lot of pain, for many years (she never really let on). Cancer got her & she went peacefully but that doesn't mean, I don't miss her every day. So no, daughterof1930, you are definitely NOT alone.
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So sad that your mom has passed and you miss her still, but why not find your own ways to honor her life on Mother's Day instead of resenting and hating. Yes, retailers see it primarily as another "big day" like Father's Day, Easter, and the biggest of all $$$ days-Christmas. But these holidays, these opportunities to celebrate families, as well as friends, are important because they honor our lives together. So no I am not a hater. I think wistfully of a Mom who I love still but who has been gone for a long time. Mother's Day is filled with the amazing memories of her and her life. I wish this for you.
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You are not alone. I feel the same way. Not having any children of my own I just want the day to go away. I feel that the television shove this day down our throats. I just want today to be over.
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I feel the same way but I try to be happy on mothers day for my kids and grandkids. My mother has been gone 26yrs on May 22nd, and each year in May I start feeling it. Sometimes I don't even realize why I'm so depressed until my sisters remind me. It doesn't get better for me.I think it has gotten worse and it doesn't help that she was my best friend and I talked to or saw her every day of my life.
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Mother's Day is different than it used to be for sure. Years ago, all my siblings used get together to make the day special for Mom. Now they do their own things. I do get to spend it with my Mom this year (alone). I try to cherish every holiday I have left with her. I'd say it will be her last, but who knows? So, I can't say I hate it because of her. I would rather not think about it being a special day because I don't see my kids on Mother's Day, and it reminds me that they don't speak to each other. I always say that I have 2 children, but no family. That makes me sad. My husband tries to make Mother's Day special, but he doesn't understand that it is about being a mother, not a wife. Now that I am depressed, I hope everyone has a good day, not matter what you do. Hugs to all.
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This is the first Mother's Day I've not had a mother. She died on Thursday. I have her Mother's Day card sitting on my desk. I remember spending a lot of time selecting it and being pleased with my selection. The sales person commented "That's a pretty card". Today at the end of mass the celebrant asked mothers to stand. Each one received a carnation. That choked me up. I do agree that the holiday is very commercial. I gave my mother much more time than most sons do and I felt that it's the ongoing care and concern that matters rather than a card, flowers or an invitation to lunch. Unfortunately in our highly commercial and money obsessed society Mother's Day has become as much a day for corporate profit as it is an expression of love for the person who gave us life.
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I can understand how Mother's Day can be difficult for many of us. Father's Day is the holiday that I hate...for similar reasons mentioned above. For me, Mother's Day will be spent having dinner with my husband's family (my SIL and I are mothers, and the men in the family are making dinner for us). Afterwards, I will visit my mother in the nursing home where they are hosting a Mother's Tea. My deceased brother (who helped me care for her)...his widow will join me. Next year, my mom may not be with us....but it will be unlike any other Sunday afternoon for me...visiting my mom in the nursing home. I have two adult sons (ages 39 and 36). The 36-y/o lives in England, where they celebrate Mother's Day earlier in the Spring. I received a very cute card from my eldest son and his fiance. It's nice to be remembered on Mother's Day, but it is mostly a day of bittersweet reflection for me...grateful that I have two sons who love me, and I love them...and my own mother....who is suffering with dementia and immobility. I will take care of myself today...breathe deeply....and simply enjoy my womanhood and feminine spirituality...
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MidKid ... I hear you! My 97yo mother has never been an easy woman. My sister basically walked out 5 years ago, moved 17 hours away and never came back, so I’m all she’s got. I’ve been a mother myself for 29 years now and every year I do what I’ve been doing for every mother’s day since I moved out at age 18 ... driving an hour each way to spend the day with my mother. (This is something that I have to do 2-3 times a week anyway because she refused to move closer to me after Dad died, and she refuses to move to a care facility, refuses to hire in care, is still living in a small senior apartment.) As a matter of fact, I don’t call it Mother’s Day, I call it Grandmother’s Day. All these people send me “Happy Mother’s Day” messages on Facebook and the like, and I feel like screaming, “What time is it?! I need to hurry up and shower, eat breakfast, get in the car and drive an hour to wash dishes, empty the commode pot that’s been sitting full for 2-3 days, make the bed, do some laundry!!” I’m glad for those moms who can have a glass of wine, read a book, enjoy their garden, or whatever else makes them happy. For me, it’s just Sunday.
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Hate it and always wish I could die the pain is so bad. Never had a Mom but had an aunt who raised me..she died on my 20th birthday..the pain never goes away. Prayers for all who hurt today.
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I hate it this year. My Mom died in September. I have no children. I used to enjoy the day with her, but she made no big deal over it, she hated the big commercial hoopla...but I liked the day, as I had a mother. Now with no children and no mother, the day is torturous for me. Ugh.
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I too would resent going to church and the pastor having everyone stand up who was a mother as I was not and could not have children. I enjoyed giving mom gifts when I was a child. But as an adult it does feel more like an obligation and like another said a forced holiday. Like really...do we need an official day to give gifts to our moms (or dad’s for that matter). I think we often become a bit more cynical as we age. My mom has been dead now for 28 years and I miss her a lot. But I too don’t care about Mother’s Day. And now with Facebook the posts go on and on so I don’t even check it today. I love on my cat’s who think I’m the best mom ever and feel lucky I had a mom who loved me.
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UGH!!! Don't get me started!! I can definitely relate. Every 'holiday' is like this now and most of the year is a downer for me. The constant 'buy' 'buy' 'buy' 'spend' 'spend' 'spend' 'smile' 'smile' 'smile' is torture and so fake cuz everyones talking about the other in bad ways behind their back anyway...UGH! When will Mars be ready? I know I am...👽 Glad I could get that out...Thanks! BTW-Happy YOU Day❣
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Yesterday my H and I brought over a card and cinnamon danish (the tray with six in it) to my mother for Mother's Day. Before she could focus on what I had brought, she first had to complain about something she'd said the other day and I didn't agree with it. ("That doctor did SO quit because I made her!" Ummm, no....she quit to go back into the Navy.)

There on her table were cards from two of my brothers, and one from one set of grandchildren. The brother who can't be bothered to come down and visit didn't send a card because he's "too busy."

Mother's Day today is for ME.
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I thank god I had such a wonderful mother, and that she was in my life for so many years. I have so many beautiful memories to comfort me. I bring impatients, her favorite flowers that I always gave her every mothers day when she was here, to her grave. It is so sad, but this is the way it is. I am going to my brothers house today, and celebrate mothers day with them. My Mom would like that.
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