July 4th.. Another holiday to deal with!

We're glad you're here too!
You are doing the right thing. It sounds as if you can't please your siblings and you don't have to. They can bring food and make a celebration if they do the work, but you and your parents are staying home.

No guilt on your part. If you feel that your parents need some sort of celebration, do something small for them like grilling hamburgers. You could get paper napkins with a theme and turn on a TV celebration if you feel that is needed or appreciated. Otherwise they and you are just fine treating this like any other day. Believe me, few of us on this site haven't suffered from "holiday dread." It goes with the territory.
Hang in, my friend. We do understand.
Carol

Carol,
Thank you for the reply. In my case, sibs feel that I should provide transportation, arrive with a smile on my face, and celebrate, while continuing continuous monitoring for the two elders I care for. Not happening! It has become extremely difficult to take the two of them even out for a quiet meal at a nearby restaurant. Siblings homes are not equipped for the two of them to be able to use the bathroom facilities safely. Sibs know that if they want to do something here, and take care of preparations for it, that is perfectly OK. Just cannot take care of these two and please siblings as well. Too much stress in this dysfunctional family.

When just getting through the day as a caregiver is a trial, holidays are often just added stress. The only way for many of us to get through them is to lower our standards of "celebration."

Do what you can realistically do and let the rest go. The opinion of others doesn't matter. If they aren't in your shoes they can't understand. If your siblings want more of a celebration, they can host it and you and your care receiver can go or not, depending on the type of day it is.

Most importantly, don't think less of yourself for not wanting to celebrate. It's entirely normal for someone who is already giving everything they can for the sake of another.

If you need to take care of yourself by not "celebrating" - then do it. Get some take out if that makes you feel better than doing nothing, but don't wear yourself out just because it's a "special" day.
We're with you,
Carol

AAARRRGGGHHH!

We will be staying home, I may grill or not. We also add a July birthday celebration. There are six or so of them think we might do that on July 5 if all are around.

I do not want siblings involved, so birthday party with my kids will be my goal.