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I wish I had some practical advice for you, but the situation is what it is. You've given up your freedom, but you sound like a kind person or you wouldn't be feeling guilty about your anger. All I can say is try to set boundaries, even if it makes your mother angry. You don't have to engage in a confrontation, which does nothing to help either of you—just makes things worse, probably. Try to walk away before the words get out of hand. There's nothing wrong with the feelings you have, but letting them turn your home into a war zone isn't going to help. I say that from experience. I too love my mother, but she'll do everything she can to make certain I KNOW that she's still the mother. Words are all she has left—that and angry looks that used to be pretty effective for keeping me in line as a child. But now only serve to fan the flames. :(
I hope someone can advise you with more practical solutions as far as outside assistance. . But learning not to let things escalate into a battle is important as well. In the meantime, remember that your feelings are perfectly natural and understandable. Best of luck—you are NOT being selfish to long for how things used to be. Many of us feel the same.