Hi all -- I am 43 years old and my husband is 47. His mother is 87. She fell earlier this year and long story short she is now staying with us. She was in a nursing home for rehab from the fall for about a month. She got out back in June. The rehab people told me she needs to do as much as she can for herself. She infuriates me because she will not do anything. She just sits on her ass all day. Her physical therapist (when she still had one before he gave up on her) said she needs to get up and walk around every hour. She wouldn't do that, so he changed it to every meal time. She won't do that either. I am tired of serving her every meal, so I had my husband set up a microwave just for her. I prepare her food and put it in the refrigerator. I just started this arrangement, but she hasn't gotten up off her ass to get her own food for a few days. It makes me irate. I'm not her slave. I'm not going to do it anymore. I would be more tolerant if she literally could not do it, but she can. She just won't. Yes, it's kind of hard for her to get up, but the therapist said she needs to get up and walk around or she will get blood clots in her legs and eventually need surgery that can be avoided if she just got up and walked around.
In addition to that, I resent her. She gave a piece of property that was supposed to be my husband's to some random "family friend" (we're talking several acres and a house). I used to like her, but now I've come to resent her.
I even find myself yelling at her every time I see her. I can't stand her anymore. I want to put her in a nursing home, but my husband is afraid of losing everything else he has if he does that. Part of me trying to reduce my anger and resentment is having her heat up her own food when she's hungry. If she doesn't, I'm going to go insane.
I don't think I'm being selfish. Thanks for listening!