Hi all. This is my first post and I just wanted to introduce myself and my story. My parents are both 90 and live in their own home (they're about an hour away from me). Mom clearly has dementia which is getting worse all the time, and she takes medication for that. She also has very severe edema in her legs and lower body in general. She's on a diuretic, and has inflatable compressions stockings but they don't really get used. She doesn't really eat, very rarely gets up and sleeps in the same recliner she sits in during the day. She gets to the bathroom but we gave her a commode to use so she doesn't have to leave the room at night. She's had a number of falls in the past couple of years, some more serious than others, but only one involving a broken bone. She is extremely paranoid that we want to "take her house", and any attempt to suggest moving out is because we want to do that. I don't know how often she showers; I don't think she can keep track and I don't know if my dad knows either. Dad is extremely hard of hearing, basically deaf. I have to yell or write for him to understand. He walks, but has developed serious problems with his legs (peripheral vasculitus I think it's called) for which he is getting treatment, so he's getting much slower. He still has a license, but luckily he's learned he can't drive anywhere except into the center of their little town. He doesn't cook, except for simple microwavable things and isn't the cleaning type (old fashioned man). He also refuses to leave the house. After much to-do, we have a PCA coming in once a week for 4 hours, and occasional meals on wheels. It was pulling teeth to get them to accept even these things. When I told them both MOW would be starting, since he's deaf he didn't understand, when they first they showed up he yelled at them to go away and don't come back. They have friends in the area who bring them food and rides to Dr. appts. They have a laundry pick-up service, which my sibling arranged and they both also have med-alert bracelets which get used pretty regularly. Myself, I often mow their considerable sized lawn, help clean, shop, often bring meals, do a Dr. run sometimes and fix minor things around the house. I'm the one who arranged and PCA and MOW. My dad's ability to care for the house is waning considerably; he's really just going through the motions. They are very proud people, and my mother is either in denial or is just unaware of what's happening. They're unable to communicate with each other except for the most basic routine things. So as you can see they're in a pretty fragile spot. If it was only one of them, it would be more simple, but my dad is somewhat in control of the situation, feeling like he has to do everything by himself and make all the decisions. They refuse to even move in with my brother who has renovated his house to accommodate them. He won't even talk about it. So that's my situation! It's been very informative to read other people's stories on this forum. I can see that many people are going through situations that are much more severe than mine, but still it's stressful because it's only mine and my brother's family that really do anything; the other two siblings live far away and hardly ever call or ask about how things are going. Sorry that went on so long but thanks for listening!