An American in Canada

NeedtoWashHair, thanks for the insight on Japan.   I had known it was a very clean country, with a tradition of  respect for elders.    I believe China has a similar approach, as do Native Americans, and some of the nationalities in the Himalayas areas as well as the nomadic Russians.    

There's much to be learned from other cultures on caring for people who are older and experienced.   I notice that more and more young people here are in commercials, silly, juvenile commercials.   But there's also one with a well groomed, almost slick older woman, living her life to the fullest and advertising that we don't have to hibernate as we age just b/c we're no longer young.

I especially like commercials with active older people, but not those horrendous and obnoxious pill commercials.  

Are any of you aware of Deidre Scherer's quilts of older people?   If not, they're quite interesting, powerful, moving, and oftentimes depressing, but they're an intriguing way of using needlework to call attention to older life, especially end of life.

These are some of her less graphic works.
https://www.dscherer.com/portfolios/available-work/  

If you've been through the dying process and feel up to it, these works are characteristic of that aspect in life.

Caution:   the following are VERY emotional.

https://www.dscherer.com/portfolios/traveling-exhibitions/

If you're shocked at first, look to the thread work, how she uses smaller pieces of fabric and stitches to highlight and emphasize.    She's a master at recreating the moods of dying, from anguish to depression, to resignation and more. 


The example of helping a woman across a street is kind of emotional, but admirable.   I too would have suspected a planned assault or crime!

That's one thing I've learned to do since caring for my father:  be on the alert for someone who needs help.  Ironically, people seem to think I'm the one who needs help.   One young man bagged my groceries w/o asking; another advised me he would load them into my car. 

Made me stop and think....am I really that old, or just look fragile?? 

Beyond cultural traditions, I've often wondered about these differences in treating older people.   Do you think it's because the Japanese have a much older civilization?   What factors into respect for the aged?   We have such a mobile culture, so many changes from generation to generation.  Sometimes I think we're moving too fast though life. 

Thanks for adding your experiences to this thread.

Need Help, I too had a Japanese pen pal, or more than one.   It's been so long ago that I don't remember but I thought there were a few.

That was such a great experience in high school, reaching out across the world to others on a basic level.

I did accidentally find a packet of old letters from Japan the other day.    If we have any more snow days, I might retrieve and read them, accompanied by some hot cider.  

There's so much to learn from corresponding with others; I learned a lot from my UK, Australian and German correspondents.   Many of those old letters are in storage in my father's attic; I'm going to have a pleasurable time reminiscing once I get them down, cleaned up and have a chance to read them again.

Send, you're right - kind of our own little travel blog here.

In fact, you have a good idea there.   Why not start a travel thread in which we write about our ventures, close by (as in a walk, hike, or something interesting that happened in an otherwise everyday occurrence)?    It would be a nice diversionary thread to counteract the challenges of caregiving.

Here is something Moecam added earlier this year about Canada:

moecam
Feb 2019
I live in Canada & we file provincial & federal taxes together - when I filed for mom usually all I paid was $300-400 to the province for her annual medical insurance

Makes me happy to be on the right side of the border - thanks for the reminder.

GardenArtist, the Japanese just don't treat older people well. They treat all people well. It's cultural. They have a culture of consideration. They think about how their actions affect others. In Japan, it's rare that you will ever have a noise problem with your neighbors. The irony is that in a country where everyone tries to keep quiet, they have a lot of technology to be quiet. Most doors cannot be slammed in Japan. Believe me, I've tried. That have anti slam mechanisms. Yet even with that, the Japanese will tend to stand there holding the door to make sure it doesn't slam. They have these standards no matter the cost of housing. Even in public housing the test is that someone should be able to dribble a basketball in the apartment above you without it bothering you. They have these composite floors designed to absorb sound.

That's not to say that all of Japan is library quiet. It isn't. It's actually quite noisy. Just walk past a Pachinko parlor when the door opens. It goes from quiet to a torrent of noise. The thing is that it should be quiet where people live and noisy where people want to be noisy. There are entertainment disctricts everywhere. You go there to make noise. Karaoke rooms aren't just for singing. If you want to practice your drums. Go get a karaoke room. Similarly if you want to game or watch a movie with the bass so high that it feels like your chest is being crushed, go to an internet cafe.

They start young to instill being considerate in Japan. It's taught in school. For the same reason, the streets are spotless even though there are no public trashcans and there's no one cleaning the streets. Would you liter in your living room? Why would you liter on the street?

Here's a little doc about school life in Japan from a Canadian that moved to Japan. See how I brought it back to Canada. ;) Notice the roles that the children take. I've posted one of his videos before. The one about Japanese Nursing Homes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fze5s1SlqB8

As for China, yes they are similar as well. Contrary to the impression most Americans have of the Chinese, they are some of the nicest people around. I can think of no where better to be a lost foreigner. There is no shortage of people stepping up to help. I've had people walk me miles out of their way to make sure I got where I needed to get. If you watch videos on youtube about people traveling in China. You'll see this is common. People will go out of their way to help you whether it's walking out of their way, buying you a bus ticket or buying you a meal.

GA,

We grew up in the generation that explored space, walking on the moon and so forth. I do find it fascinating.

I think there is a future for us in space, will be a ways down the road but...one day.

The trial and error period will be exciting and I suppose filled with some anxiety. It takes a specific type of person to have the right psychological make up to be a pioneer in exploring a future life in space.

My oldest daughter and my husband if he were younger would go in a heartbeat. My youngest daughter and I, eh...not so sure. We are fascinated but not sure if we could handle it.

GA, No, I don't know the names of the groups that bought the farmland, though some had signs in front. May have pictures showing them from the trip; I'll look. I wanted to move right in and live in most of them!

Needtowashhair,

Thanks for the additional insight into Japanese and Chinese cultures.  I've read a few novels of residents of both, and although they were fiction, those standards of respect for elders as well as others were reflected in the novels.    I don't think it's necessarily that they're ancient cultures, but it's an interesting topic to consider.

Your post made me think of finding some Pearl S. Buck novels and reading them. 

NeedHelpWithMom,

You're braver than I am.  I'd rather attempt to climb Mt. Everest than face the unknown challenges of space exploration! 

Mally1,

I'd be interested in knowing if you find anything in photos that hints at what kinds of companies are buying up land in Canada.   I think some massive developments will be associated with those purchases, including stripping the land for whatever undertakings are planned.

Send,

the dual taxation is an aspect I'm just not prepared to contemplate, at least not until gardening season.   Winter is too confining to think of taxes other than just dealing with them.

GA,

I just think more space travel is coming, but me personally, oooooh, not so sure if I would go into space. Hahaha, my oldest daughter would. She’s 30.

I used to pretend that I was traveling into space as a kid because that was an exciting part of my generation. I still get thrilled to see old clips of man walking on the moon. It is fascinating.

Want to hear something funny? My grandpa that I adored did not believe that we landed on the moon. He thought it was a hoax.

Grandpa couldn’t imagine it being true. If our grandparents could come back and see our world now, who knows what they would think, right? They lived in a much simpler world.

Some things needed to change but some of their ways were good too. Where is the balance? It really is daunting to think about what the future holds as far as where is the best place for any of us to be as we age. I totally get that you are exploring Canada or any number of other possibilities. I too have thought of these things but my husband get on board with it.

speaking of Canada, the following showed up in my inbox: I would guess no single man would want to move there.

THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A CANADIAN GIRL
 

The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.
 
It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
 
The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and cooking.
 
The first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
 
The third man married a girl from Canada. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.
 
He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything either, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

Karsten,

Are you a single male? Be adventurous! Go test the waters and make the move. Just don’t tell any women to wash dishes or clean house. 😁😂🤣

Karsten, jokes that are humorous are good therapy   Purported "jokes" that degrade and insult people, whether men or women, are in poor taste.

Your so-called "joke" is exactly that:  insulting and rude, to both men and women.  

Karsten,

It may be time to clean out your mailbox. The trash seems to be piling up 😊.

Do you find this type of humor as funny? Keep your day job. Don’t think you would be very successful as a stand up comic.

GA,

You will have to add to your winter wardrobe if you move to Canada. I hardly have any winter clothes. We have such a short winter. You will need hats, boots, gloves and long underwear too!

NeedHelp, adding to my wardrobe will give me an excuse to visit fabric shops more often,  and how can that be anything but pleasurable?  

Seriously, we've had some pretty cold weather here, although the temps or wind chills haven't dropped below zero that often as they did when winters were consistently cold.

Karsten, since my hubby and I are NEVER politically correct, we thought it was very funny! Still laughing...

GA,

I love fabric shops. They are fun to visit. I had to stop buying though! Hahaha. It’s easy to get carried away. I don’t know anyone who didn’t have a large stash of extra fabrics and notions.