Mother in law is living with her daughter and father in law in assisted living. That's how it will be forever I guess. My husband is power of attorney to sell their house to pay for their care. Father costs $3200 a month! Their money will run out in a few years. One daughter is squabbling over the money. We keep telling her that no one died and the money is mom and dads. They need it. So she thinks the cost for dad is too high and what if he lives to be 100? Then the money will be all gives us a headache. She calls us every week to discuss their money. I guess there's no way to get her to shut up but we have just slowed way down on selling the house. It's driving her crazy and she in turn is driving us crazy.

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She thinks the cost for dad is too high? Does she want him to come and live with her? (That might not be in his best interests, but suggesting it might shut her up.)

Even if dad doesn't live to be 100, the money is going to be all gone. If she is expecting and inheritance she might as well face reality now. If she thinks AL is expensive, wait until he needs more extensive care!

Distributing the proceeds of the house sale now (is that what she wants?) will screw up dad's chances of getting Medicaid when the money does run out. As POA your husband can't do that because it would not be in dad's best interest.

I certainly would not discuss finances with her weekly! In fact, as POA your husband should be respecting dad's right to confidentiality. Tell her you just discovered that requirement and you can't talk about dad's financial situation any more.

Change your phone number. I suspect that no matter what you say she will keep it up. Bottom line: Money from the house is for mom and dad PERIOD.

Rent out the house and have the rent put into an account that the assisted living money comes out of. That will really drive her crazy.

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