I feel terrible. So my grandpa has been paralyzed since I was born. And just 6 years my grandmother, his caregiver, passed away and we had to find someone else. She did for a few years but then she left. Caregivers just quit left and right. He doesn't want to go in a home and we are trying our best to keep it that way. But it is exhausting. I just graduated nursing school and I want to be a nurse so I feel my family just puts this on me. But I have my own husband and want to leave this town. I love my grandpa and would be devastated if anything happened. He is so kind, even though stubborn, and I know it isn't his fault but lately I just feel like I don't care anymore. Every time I am over at his house I am just checked out. I feel TERRIBLE. I feel like I don't deserve anything if I just decided to leave and put the burden on my family. (I feel bad calling him a burden.) I feel like I would make a bad nurse if I can't even take of him. My brain is just hurting. I have my nclex coming up and I am also supposed to go back to school in about a month and I just feel like I need to put it off even though I don't want to. I'm at a loss. But it feels great to actually express my feelings. I do get paid for some hours becuase I just do that now 24/7 and it makes me feel bad becuase of that. But I don't even care to get paid. I just want to leave my city and start a life somewhere else. I had a breakdown last night, just lying in my closet crying my eyes out becuase I feel stuck here. I don't know what to do.