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For those of you who once cared for your beloved partner until the very end — may I ask, how do you cope now that they’ve passed on? How did you deal with the silence, the empty spaces, and the loneliness that seems to creep in when the caregiving ends?
I wonder, what are the next steps? When is the right time to start looking outward again — to seek connection, companionship, or even just a hand to hold when the nights feel too long?
I would be grateful to hear your experiences, as I know many here have walked this road before me.

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TenderStrength5: So very sorry. Take care of yourself.
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Tenderstrength5:

I’m very sorry for your loss but hope you find some comfort. Find some fun things to do and new friends to see whenever you are able. Write a journal of your memories.
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After hospice removed their equipment when my husband of 35 years passed, I also didn't know what to do with the silence and emptiness. I don't know how long it took me to realize this, but one day I realized I was the same person in body and spirit before I became a wife and mother all those years ago, before getting married. You just went through a full and memorable stage of your life that ended very sadly.
Try to remember your hopes and dreams before you were married and use some of those memories for inspiration for your future. It worked for me. Best wishes.
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Very small baby steps.

I'm sorry for your loss.
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I suggest a book by David Kessler, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief.

In this groundbreaking and “poignant” (Los Angeles Times) book, David Kessler — praised for his work by Maria Shriver, Marianne Williamson, and Mother Teresa — journeys beyond the classic five stages to discover a sixth stage: meaning.

In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first identified the stages of dying in her transformative book On Death and Dying. Decades later, she and David Kessler wrote the classic On Grief and Grieving, introducing the stages of grief with the same transformative pragmatism and compassion. Now, based on hard-earned personal experiences, as well as knowledge and wisdom gained through decades of work with the grieving, Kessler introduces a critical sixth stage: meaning.

Kessler’s insight is both professional and intensely personal. His journey with grief began when, as a child, he witnessed a mass shooting at the same time his mother was dying. For most of his life, Kessler taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about end of life, trauma, and grief, as well as leading talks and retreats for those experiencing grief. Despite his knowledge, his life was upended by the sudden death of his 21-year-old son.

How does the grief expert handle such a tragic loss? He knew he had to find a way through this unexpected, devastating loss, a way that would honor his son. That, ultimately, was the sixth stage of grief - meaning. In Finding Meaning, Kessler shares the insights, collective wisdom, and powerful tools that will help those experiencing loss.

My condolences on your loss. Best of luck to you.
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I would encourage you to remember the times, in your own mind you lamented things you could no longer do. Go out to a movie, out to eat, join a faith based community, a hobby, do woodworking, put in a garden, do photography, go to museums, volunteer at a shelter, foster an animal, and etc etc. Start slow and start there, because as a caregiver you will have become, over time, in your own mind, just that and ONLY that.

You have limited your horizons. Slowly open them back up. Consider a grief work group. See a good cognitive therapist to work out options for ways forward. Be certain you don't jump from frying pan to fire by trying to "take on care" for others. Give yourself time.
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Based on your profile and question, I sense that you are referring to the next steps in seeking a relationship that might lead beyond friendship with someone. If that's the case, there is only the time that feels right for you. And no one has the right to judge when that time is.

I lost my husband 18 months ago. As I've grieved, I've also focused on creating a different life that includes meaningful activities and friendships, old and new. While I certainly feel lonely at times and miss my husband every day, I'm quite content being alone(for which I'm grateful).
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I am so sorry for your loss.
I don’t have any answers, but as my husband declines rapidly I know I will be facing more decline in months or years.
My GF who lost her husband months ago needed total solitude for months.
She is volunteering now and able to plan for a future.
There is no right or wrong, but I think we need to reinvent, reestablish our lives post caregiving.
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Your description of that first night, the silence, and even turning the bed back on… that hit me deeply. It shows the depth of love and the void that it leaves behind. I’m grateful you shared your truth and that reminder that grief changes but never ends. ‘It is the price of love’… such powerful words. Thank you for giving me perspective and hope to take one step at a time.
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Your words truly touched me, and I want to thank you for sharing such a heartfelt piece of your journey. The image of you wandering your home after your husband’s passing resonates so deeply — that lost feeling of what now? is something I can understand.

I admire how you turned your pain into purpose through volunteering, filling your days with joy, service, and connection. The way you describe finding your “people fix” while still cherishing peace and quiet at home is beautiful.

You’ve given me hope that the emptiness can be softened with meaning, and that God can redirect our hearts when we feel most broken. Thank you for reminding me that putting one foot in front of the other is sometimes the most faithful thing we can do. 
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When my late husband died 5 years ago today, I found myself wandering around our home wondering what it was that I was supposed to do now, after being his caregiver for many years.
So at first I didn't do much but rest and take care of myself best I could.
But then after a while when I decided not to return to work as I had more than my fill of stress, I instead decided to start volunteering at places that would bring me joy.
And truly there is nothing better to fill the hours of the day than with helping others who need a simple smile and a listening ear, and where one can turn the attention on others instead of ourselves.
So now my days are filled with helping out at different charities/ministries and I am able to get what I call my people fix(as I am a people person)so I can then return to my home and enjoy the peace and quiet that it offers.
And I don't feel lonely anymore(haven't for a long long time) because God has filled my life with so many things that bring me joy which in turn I can share with others.
And as God's children that is what we are called to do...to be His hands and feet and spread His love and joy to those we come in contact with.
So life does go on after losing a loved one, and it is up to us as to what exactly that will look like, as we all are different. But it all starts with just putting one foot in front of the other.
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The silence is deafening. At least it was that first day.
The Nurse had turned off the air compressor to the bed and the house was just so quiet. The bed was to remain until it was picked up by the company that Hospice uses. I actually turned the bed back on and slept on it that night.
Well I say sleep, I kept waking and did so for months after because I had gotten so used to walking and changing him every few hours.

There is no "right or wrong" answer to your questions..."When is the right time to start looking outward again".
That is up to you. and how you deal with the grief.
Do not let anyone try to rush you or push you.
This, the death of a loved one is something you get THROUGH not OVER.
It is soon to be 9 years since my Husband died and I still get teary eyed at times. Sometimes for absolutely no reason at all. When YOU feel comfortable to hold someone else's hand then hold that hand.
Seeking connections, companionship is normal and forming and reforming friendships that have taken a backseat to caregiving is necessary.
Find something that you want to do, something that will get you out and active once again.
Find out who you are once again.
Do not rush yourself.
Here is a quote I have next to my computer

Grief never ends
But it changes.
It is a passage, not a place to stay
Grief is not a sign of weakness
nor a lack of faith
It is the price of love.
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